1 Confused

"It's been two years", she mumbled sitting on my study table "since my life turned upside down." Kai Ying was not excellent in studies. 12th board exams ended just 2 weeks ago and she could not expect any more than 80%. English and biology went very well but physics was one of the hardest papers ever. Her board result has been completely spoiled.

Another big hurdle, NEET, was just two weeks away. Preparations were not up to the mark. She was sure that she could not crack it. Everything had been changed now. Biology, which used to be her favorite subject, which she could study anytime anywhere without getting bored has now become a burden. It's still interesting but recently she had got much more tempestuous.

"I want to sketch! But I can't. At that point of time when my future is to be decided, I should not think about amusing myself. But I really wish to sketch, to sketch my heart out."

People usually pen down their feelings, but Kai Ying would sketch them out. She had two sketches and a painting yet to be completed. But she was already running short of time.

Along with the sketches, more than 20 packages lay before her, expecting to be read before the exam. But she sat confused pondering over her current situation. "I'll commit a suicide", she replied, whenever she was asked about her future. It seems as if except her everyone was serious about her future. She didn't knew what she was going to do. But ying knew for sure that it was impossible to crack NEET at least this time. "What else would you do if you can't crack NEET? There are no other career opportunities in this field other than becoming a doctor." her mom replied when she told her that she could not make it possible this time. "Are you planning to drop out? Have you gone mad? Very few students could do it the second time. Every year the competition increases and the chances of success decreases. We won't let you drop out." She spoke without a break. "It's better to do a B.Sc. if you can't crack NEET. Forget your dream of becoming a doctor then." Kai ying stood without words. 'A B.Sc.! Seriously? Give up my dream? Never! But what else could I do? Should I actually commit a suicide?' she was confused as left the room. "I could not believe this is happening with me, after I think about my journey as a student, just two years ago! "