You’re a Wizard Harry!

Ok, so maybe my parents weren't total assholes, after explaining why they couldn't come near me until I was eleven really cleared things up.

It seems I had an rare condition and until my magical core stabilised I couldn't even come near magic, In fact just being near my parents was making me uncomfortable a little but that could be a kryptonian thing.

Of course we didn't just go from strangers to BFF's. There was still a lot of built up resentment from me, but I'm sure we will get to that when the time comes.

My twin brother's name is Nathan and my sister's name is Rose. I know they were sooo original. But the thing is Nathan wasn't a stuck up prick like I thought, and Rose was fucking adorable and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise.

Of course I showed them my abilities as well, they seem to think that my magic made my body stronger(lol no) but I pretended that was the case.

After I said adios to the Dursley family, we took a portkey to the Potter Manor. Fun fact, my paternal grandmother is still alive, and them if she wasn't the finest GILF I ever saw.

She was really kind hearted too, maybe some Black's are really different than the rest. I do wonder how Sirius turned out though, considering he never went to jail.

Anyway on the months that led up to our trip to Hogwarts I got to know my family better, Dad is really serious sometimes but usually a goofball.

Mom was a spitfire but took extra care to shower le with affection, guess she wanted to make up for all the years. My grandmother Dorea Potter was the coolest grandma ever enough said.

My twin and I tried to get along but I don't think we were into the same stuff, he likes pranks way too much and a competitive little asshole so he tried harder every time and ultimately fail.

My sister who was 8 years old, is too cute not to like, I took her flying once without a broom and I think I gave our family a heart attack.

We did eventually go to Diagon Alley and it wasn't all it cranked up to be, the people swarmed Nathan about shaking his and all that stuff but he had to deal with it for all his life so he was used to it.

The Magical Community did know about my condition so there were a lot of pity looks towards my way, one funny thing that happened was a goblin freaking attacked me with a sword to chop off my neck, of course the sword broke and people started talking but after I punched the lights out of the goblin who attacked me, they treated me like a comrade, no I don't want to go to a goblin brothel.

All because I called someone ''Mister Goblin'' apparently ''She'' was a woman. How was I supposed to know? She had a moustache for gods sake!

We did get our wands eventually, no I didn't have voldi's twin wand, that went to my brother, and I didn't get the uber cheater wand of the main character either, mine was pretty normal to be honest, except for one thing. 14 inch Cypress Dragon heartstring wand, Ollivander had to be his usual creepy self and had to get the last word in.

''Cypress wands are associated with nobility. The great medieval wandmaker, Geraint Ollivander, wrote that he was always honoured to match a cypress wand, for he knew he was meeting a witch or wizard who would die a heroic death.''

Of course mom flipped her shit when he said that after his speech about the Phoenix core wand, I don't think we will be shopping there anymore.

I found out I am not that talented at magic, my brother was the defence prodigy, while I wasn't bad I wasn't good either. One thing that was going for me was that most spells didn't effect me as did for other people, A petrification spell for example would normally last an hour for me it was less than an minute. Still that was a long time to be out of commission so I'll still try to not get hit.

Eventually the day came for the Hogwarts express, my mom and sister did cause a scene where they cried and didn't want to let me and Nathan go, it was super embarrassing, but I guess I missed parental affection more than I let on because there were manly tears in my eyes.

Nathan and I boarded the train after a while with the ginger asshole, yes the asshole that has the emotional capacity of a tea spoon, Ron Fucking Weasley himself. I hated him in the books and I hate him now, but really he is my brother's friend so there isn't anything I can do. We got ourselves an empty cabin and they started talking about quidditch, just kill me now.

*Knock-Knock*

''Have you guys see a toad? Neville lost his.''

''No, but I can help, if you want?'' I got up from my seat and walked towards my future waifu. There is no way she is ending up with that ginger bastard.

''Oh! Thank you!'' I closed the door while saying good bye to my brother and the teaspoon.

''My name is Hermione, Hermione Granger.'' She said while extending her right hand.

''Nice to meet you Hermione, my name is Harry Potter.'' Of course she got excited when she heard ''Potter''

''Are you really? I read about your brother in the-'' I cut her off before she could get out the rest.

''Yes, I know but please don't bring it up in front of him, he really hates how everyone goes fangirling up to him.''

''Oh sorry... So do you like reading?'' She was clearly uncomfortable after that and wanted to switch gears, so I threw her a bone.

''Yes, in fact because of a rare condition with my magic I am one the fastest readers in the whole world and able to retain that info %100'' As an 11 year old she believed me easily. I saw where Trevor was so I was walking towards there already.

As an avid reader of the harem genre I already knew which ''flags'' to plant for my future waifu.

You know; ''Do you wanna be friends?'' , ''Your hair is really beautiful'' all that good stuff.

Eventually we did find Trevor after I took my time to really go for all the flags. I met Neville too, sweet kid.

After we promised to meet up later she returned to her own cabin and I met up with my brother again, they bought a shit ton of sweets. Why bro? You already tasted them for fucks sake! You have been living in the wizard world. I tasted some of them too but didn't go too crazy never liked sweets that much.

After a long journey especially since I can, you know, just fly, we arrived at the Hogsmade station.