9 The Dilemma

I looked up at the analog clock hanging from a wall in our living room which read 6.45 pm.

Jordan would be here any moment.

"How do I look?" I stood in front of Madison.

I had paired that red dress with a pair of black pumps I had bought last month.

When I had looked at my reflection in the mirror after wearing the dress, I was in awe of its beauty. It was a simple dress but the lacework around the fabric was what added an elegant touch to it. The dress wrapped itself around my thighs and rested perfectly on it as if it was tailor-made. I wondered how Jordan got the size right.

She ran her eyes up and down my form and smiled. "Like you're going to give him a heart attack."

I laughed nervously and pulled at the hem of my dress. I started to pace back and forth around the room and with each step, the heels on my shoes clicked against the wooden floor.

"You don't have to be so nervous. It's just a dinner, not a war," Maddy pulled me to a halt.

"I know. I don't know why I'm so nervous. My thoughts are all over the place," I leaned against the armrest of the couch.

"Do you think it's because it's the first time you're going out with a guy in two years?" she asked.

I looked at her and frowned.

"I wasn't even thinking about that but thanks for reminding me."

"Sky," Maddy leaned against the couch in front and faced me. "Not every guy is Max Jones."

My heartbeat quickened at the mention of that name. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. You haven't gone out on a single date ever since you and Max broke up and I get why this makes you nervous but you're going to have to try eventually—"

"No, Madison," I looked directly at her. "I can't."

Maddy's eyes were set on me and a grim line formed over her lips as an uncomfortable silence filled in the atmosphere.

"Sky," she finally said, her voice a mere whisper, "you can't live like this."

The sound of her voice broke my heart.

"I have to," I said. "I can't... I can't let myself get involved in something serious ever again. Not after what happened the last time. It's not going to get anywhere and I can't put myself through that again. Neither can I do that to anyone else."

Maddy looked at me with sadness in her eyes. It pained her more than it pained me to talk about this. A single tear trickled down her cheek and I felt my heart break into two.

"Come on, Maddy," I reached out for her hand and held it between mine. "We discussed this. This is exactly what we decided to avoid."

She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I know," she said. "But, you are allowed fun if nothing serious."

"I don't want—"

"Trust me, Sky. You WANT to get laid. You just don't think you do. You are allowed to have fun and Jordan Parker is perfect for that! He even asked you out!"

I rolled my eyes and stood up straight, adjusting the hem of my dress. "Maddy—"

"Just hear me out!" she leaped from the couch and grabbed my arms. "Everybody knows he's a player. With him, you don't have to worry about getting serious. Just use him for what he's good at!"

"Madison, I work for the guy!" I shrugged her arms off me and walked towards the kitchen. I reached for the orange juice on the counter and poured some in a glass.

Maddy followed after me.

"He doesn't care about that. Why else would he ask you out?"

"Because we are supposed to work," I sipped on the juice.

"He sent you a dress for Pete's sake!" she threw her arms up in the air and rolled her eyes. "Even his assistant... that Adam guy said he never asks anyone out!"

"It's Alec actually, and no," I deadpanned.

Maddy lifted herself on the kitchen island. "You know you're attracted to him. You have done nothing but talk about Jordan this entire week. Even though you practically just bitched about him, but still. I know what that means, I have done that before."

"I did not talk about him that much!" I looked at her defensively.

"Yeah, no," she scoffed. "You know you want him." Maddy gave me a look that said 'I dare you to convince me otherwise'.

Each word of hers was lodged in my brain wanting to explore more on the matter. It took every ounce of control in me to stop it from wandering on the road I dare not take.

"What I want is for this conversation to end," I said instead.

"Fine. Far be it for me to stop you from letting an opportunity like this slip away," she lifted her shoulders casually in a shrug and jumped off the counter.

"What opportunity? You're talking nothing but nonsense here. Jordan Parker is someone I work with. No matter how attractive he might be, I can't compromise with my work."

She groaned. "You are a basket-case. The opportunity is Jordan Parker. He's clearly interested in you and he has made his move. All you have to do is seize the day. You don't want to get involved with anyone in a serious attachment and you don't have to. Not with Jordan Parker. He's a typical philanderer. All you need is to have some fun and loosen up. It's a perfect arrangement. If you play your cards right tonight, you might get a little fun out of life."

I stared at her, agape. "Madison—" I began to object but she closed the gap between us.

Maddy looked straight at me. "I love you, Sky. You have always been a sister to me and I'm only saying this for your benefit. I don't want you to waste your life like how you have the past two years. Just because an impending doom awaits you doesn't mean you can't enjoy your present."

An impending doom.

An impending doom does await me but I never thought I was wasting my life away. If anything, I had been making it as productive as I could.

"Working like a mad cow won't get you anywhere if you don't live your life to the fullest. Just let loose."

"A mad cow?" I scowled.

Maddy rolled her eyes. "Your focus is on the wrong words, Rose. But—"

A knock on the front door stopped Maddy from completing her sentence.

I glanced at the clock. 7.05 pm.

"You're supposed to open it, genius."

"You know if you weren't such a smart mouth maybe I'd like you more," I said as I walked towards the door.

I took a deep breath before opening the door wide and there he stood in all his glory.

Jordan Parker.

A whiff of his scent rode up my nostrils and a sense of familiarity settled in. I could recognize that scent anywhere.

He was dressed a little less formally than he usually did. He wore a grey blazer atop a black shirt which was tucked neatly into the waistband of his denim.

He smiled smugly as his eyes settled upon me. "I have to say I'm proud of my choices."

I looked down at my feet as I tried to avert his green, calculative gaze.

"Red suits you," he said in a low-gravely voice which sent shivers down my spine.

"You didn't have to send a dress, Mr. Parker," I nervously played with the thin strap of my dress resting still on my shoulder.

"I don't HAVE to do anything, Rose. Shall we?" He gesticulated for me to step out.

"I... uh, let me grab my coat," I quickly turned around and leaned against the closed door.

I found Maddy eyeing me gleefully.

"Stop that," I scowled and walked up to my room.

I plucked my coat from my bed and quickly re-applied some more lip-gloss before stepping out of my room.

"Yeah, keep those babies hydrated. You're gonna need it," Maddy winked and puckered her lips together as she made horrid kissing sounds.

"You know I can kill you, right?" I gritted my teeth together.

Maddy held me by my shoulders. "Just let loose. You have nothing to lose here."

"I'm getting late." I removed her hands and walked towards the door.

"Oh, don't forget to use protection!" she whisper-shouted just as I pulled the door open.

I gave her a look that I'm hoping conveyed the absolute shock and embarrassment coupled with rage, that I was feeling.

I quickly composed myself and turned to face Jordan who was leaning against the wall outside my apartment door as he waited for me.

"Let's go."