4 Prologue 2

There is music ringing beyond my ears that delves me deeper into the feeling of peace and enlightenment. It is certainly a beautiful piece, no one can't argue with me. If there is one man that rebukes my later proposition, I'll punch their grandma right in front of their face. It is a cadence of sounds that has an intonation that could be described like a stairway towards heaven, especially for an incel like me. A piece of wedding music, Canon in D, by Pachelbel.

I open my eyes and saw a lively ceremony. A wedding ceremony and I am the groom who is standing on top of the red carpet, the spotlight is below my feet and strange petals falling right on top of my head, I am the main character of this wonderful love story.

Am I dreaming? I wish I am not but it is literally a dream come true for a scumbag like me. I am getting married! Congrats, Johan. For such a long time, I've been waiting, waiting for someone to love me for who I am.

I look forward to the priest who wore a dark dress. His figure was holy until I look at his face. A bald head reflects the shine of the sun that hits me blind, right in front of my eyes. His appearance is quite familiar like I have seen it several times before on the internet, on a video that I frequently watched. But, no matter what I do, even if I scratch my head and tear every nerve on my brain, I can't remember his name.

I look further in detail upon his clothes and around his chest, there is a nameplate that indicates his name on a silver plate.

Johnny Sins.

What the…

I look at his eyes and his gaze went slimy and sticky with the girl beside me who is supposed to be my bride. I felt I'd been cheated that I wanted to run away from my own wedding day. But I forgot such a thought when a deep voice from the priest echoes my ears.

"You may now kiss the bride"

My body moves on its own accord and met the girl whose face was hidden inside a wedding veil. It's now or never, I thought. At last, my wish of creating my own family will now come true. There is a problem with my employment but who cares? Love transcends poverty. We may die due to starvation but who cares? As long as we love each other, nothing really matters.

But… who is this woman anyway? I don't have any recollections of interacting with another girl besides my mother.

I open her veil and the shock crushes my heart, worse than a cholesterol-inducing heart attack.

"Spank me daddy"

Oh god, what the fuck happened to her face! She has a butt… for a face!! A literal butt face!

Slowly, the black hole on the center of the face was coming closer into my lips, and I can't move. I struggled but even my fingers didn't flinch.

As soon as I was attempting to shout. I suddenly woke from the nightmare with my alarm clock buzzing loudly to my bedroom. I am at my parent's house, thank god, the SCP bullshit and marriage is all nothing but a dream. I hold my chest where my heart beats fast, the fear I felt can never be translated into human words as the definition could only exist beyond our mortal existence, the horror that possessed my dreams came directly from the Christian hell.

"Okay, it's just a dream. Everything is just a dream, thank god."

Thank you god it was only a dream. I thought I was going to be an atheist in that terrifying moment.

Suddenly, I noticed something strange, there is something bulging out of my blanket right beside my left. A person? No way.

I braced my heart and clench my fist, I grab a cutter to cut whatever may sprout from the blanket. I took a deep breath. Then I pull the cloth revealing the thing that hides behind the shadow.

Phew… just my Megumin body pillow, nothing special.

"Johan, breakfast is ready"

"I'll be right there"

My mother called me down to eat so I rushed over downstairs in a haste. My mind is still playing tricks on me that whenever I look, my peripheral vision could see the face of a fricking butt hole. Was it because of the trauma inflicted from my dreams?

[Today's news is about a young man named @#531! who committed suicide by m*sturbating 70 times. A note was found saying he was tired of an incel life and then…]

The T.V was too loud. And the content of the news is quite disturbing and uncanny. Also, the disturbing accident was being delivered by a somehow familiar VTuber with a wide grin on her face, what a frick.

My mother placed the food over the table, but at first sight, it is just a mysterious bump of unidentified something- something organism that my mother claimed to be edible. I can't help but ask in front of the anomalous aura radiating from the bulge.

"What's this?"

"Honey, it's a secret. But if you insist…"

"It's okay mom. Everything you cook is delicious."

I am in a good mood today so I won't ask any more unnecessary questions. I trust my mom more than anything so I'll eat whatever she makes. No one loved me better than my mother.

I sliced the bulge and the dark sauce inside the food spilled over the plate. Taking a bite, I think I ate my own hair, I tried to pull the hair out of my mouth but what I grabbed is something else. It is hair but not just ordinary hair.

It's a terrifying oddball of pubic hair.

At that moment, I was tempted to vomit what I had just eaten.

The food is rising out of my body. It was going out but I stopped it inside my throat by covering my mouth. I don't know what my mother did but…

"Who's mom? I'm your wife"

I look towards my mother's face but… but she has a butt for a face. My heart skipped a beat, the blood from my face dissipates causing my face to turn pale.

Then, I woke up in a dark room comparable to the theatre, panicking like a maniac.

[…Secure Contain Protect. Be a part of our organization to protect the world from anomalies, from a murderous tomato to the vilest god ever existed. In the Foundation, we find ways.]

Along the awakening was accompanied by a sudden hypnic jerk causing me to suddenly bang my head over the table. I've fallen asleep during our orientation, what a weird dream, I felt like I was inside of a Bollywood movie, but the nightmare isn't over when the light once again returned to its normal state revealing a white room filled with a bunch of naked old guys.

[Hai! Any questions?]

The monitor asked in a fervent manner.

"In simple terms, you want us to be the foundation's human sacrifices to protect those monsters. Am I correct?"

An Asian man raise his hand and asked the monitor. He looked kinda normal and somehow gives a vibe that he do well at math. He is a petite man around his 40s and his eyes are visibly slanted.

[Human sacrifice? Do you know what D in the class hierarchy stands for?]

"Uh, dogstyle?"

[It means disposable, death row criminals. As of this day, you are just a [REDACTED] animal, we are here to protect humanity. Containment of anomalies and experimentation is necessary to use this adverse effect against other SCPs]

"Ehe he, death row criminals, more like… dick no criminals, ehe hehehe"

The man who laughed unstably is guy 3 rows away from my back. He has a messy arrangement of hair like Einstein but his face is more like Neanderthals of the pre-historic era. Moreover, his drool continuously drops away from his mouth giving an impression that this guy is nowhere near the same as a sane individual.

"In other words, you are trying to weaponize those anomalies and gain power, am I correct?"

The guy who groped my ass created a follow-up question while crossing his arm.

[Precisely, we are trying to weaponize the SCPs in our best interest to protect humanity. And you are our guinea p---, humanity's hope in accomplishing it. Your work is simple, you are tasked to maintain the cleanliness of the facility and usefulness of tools— ]

"Ehehe, hehe, guinea pigs, more like… guinea's dick, ehe ehe hehe"

And there is a moment of awkwardness and silence, except for the giggle emitted by that crazy guy. It seems that the other guys from the back took it as an offense and stare at him with threatening looks.

"Hai! Another question please"

The guy with the thick glasses asked.

[What?]

"Can you say, yamete kudasai onii-chan?"

[Ugh. Please, shut the crap out]

"Dame! Oshiri ni haicha dame!"

He changed his tone mimicking the sound of a girl in a Japanese p*rn video. But because of his deep masculine voice, his voice cracked in a way unequal with each word.

[Class-D Personnel Number 12- 008, codename rabbit. Get out of this room]

He did just that but with a proud look carved on his face. Every other man clapped, praising him as he walks down the aisle and screaming "That's my son!" After he reached the front where the monitor is located. He bowed his head and sends some flying kisses here and there then exited the room with a wide grin on his face.

"What the hell was that?"

I asked silently, it seems that he is a man of culture as well. A brethren of mine is inside the facility and it made me feel at ease.

"Oh, that guy? His name is Rabbit, despite how he acted he is an ex-militia who murdered his commander after saying that he is a fan of Justin Bieber."

I regret that I asked.

The one who responded is the seemingly normal guy sitting next to me.

"And what if we don't?"

Another man who I don't know, or I don't care about cut through the scene. He is thin as a sheet and his mouth is bleeding but it doesn't stop him from standing up to the table revealing a naked bare view of his body.

[Good question, resistance will be penalized with execution. In other words, you will be killed, try to escape and you will be killed, disrespect the authority you will be killed, misbehave in a way that is immoral and you will be killed. Kill one another and you will be killed, touch the SCP's without permission you will be killed, spread a word about the foundation you will be killed—]

"Ha? Then there is no reason to follow your whip shit. We don't want to hear threats, we want an incentive to why we should follow your orders"

[Your rewards will be decided through your clearance level starting from level 0 up to level 6. You are to gain individual authority by raising through your ranks by working hard and gaining our trust. Maintenance and Utility Division workers do not hold keycards but the determining key to access various sectors is the chip implanted inside your head.]

"Hang on, a chip implanted inside our head?"

[Yes, try to escape the facility and the chip will automatically blow your head to pieces]

I instinctively gulped. Nobody among the crowd tried to say a word after that except for the crazy guy.

"Blow our head? More like… blow my head ehehe ehe ehe hehehe"

I am trying to comprehend what he just said, or what makes the statement funny for him. But during the thought, a continuous trail of strange beep can be heard from the back. I look towards the source, and suddenly, his head exploded into splattered blood painting the face of the nearby people with red pigments.

"Oh fuck!"

"What the hell!"

The nearby guys complained as they scattered away from the gore.

His head literally pops instantly killing him with a strange mass of bubbles emerging from his mouth. It's not even his real head that dissipates into blood, but his other head! The other head between his legs.

His dick head...

"Now he is literally a dick no criminal… hehe"

The guy next to me uttered aloud, the rest suddenly laughed. But I don't understand how they could make fun of someone who just died in front of our eyes.

[You believe me now? Oh. But you could get rid of the chip once you gain acceptable authority within the foundation by raising your clearance level. Leveling up pose a lot of benefits such as access to sensitive documents, classified SCP chambers, and even freedom to resign yourself from working at the foundation]

The atmosphere suddenly became serious as if something in those statements had picked the attention of these remorseless criminals.

Freedom.