August 3, 2019 7:44pm:
Yesterday was my grandfather's birthday I don't remember the year he was born but he was a great man. By the way most of my thoughts jump here to there I don't know if it's because of my condition or maybe it's normal. One thought that is going through my mind was pretty traumatic for me and it has been bothering me ever since that day.
So I was on this dating app called Plenty of Fish and I really wanted to find someone I could really connect with on the innocent level. By the way everyone who is using the app is supposed to be over 18 and one of the girls I was talking with was only 15! I had no idea until her father contacted me that she was trying to send inappropriate content to me and was caught in the act. I felt so bad for the family because they got into a big fight. No I didn't ask for anything from her like that I know I'm innocent to the fact that all I wanted to really do with this lady was to play tennis with her.
I'm just really grateful that God protected me and warned me about her ahead of time. What if I wasn't trying to be a good Christian man and sent inappropriate pictures to her? Like nudes or something really bad? Yeah, thank God that never happened. It's just really sad that I thought I was really connecting with this lady but she ended up being a 15 year old teen. It was scary. It's sad because many people can fall victim to worse situations than this and ruined their lives. God's hand was in this and I never in my life thought that something like this would ever happen to me. All I wanted to do was to get to know this girl and this happens. It's very strange..
It's also sad that the only person I really connected with was a 15 year old. It's sad. She was more mature than most 20 year olds that I know but I'm not crying over it. It is what it is.
Why is it so difficult to have an actual conversation with someone my age? I mean it's not an impossible occurrence. It's just that most girls my age don't know what they want or they're already married or pregnant. It's like why can't you wait? How hard is it to wait until marriage or to actually make a marriage work? Is it really taboo?
Now I didn't wait till marriage to have sex which I regret and it was before I joined the church, but I was smart enough to you know pull out of the situation before anything happened. That may be too much information, but seriously sex is not meant to be before marriage. This really isn't taboo, I think we all know this and that we know that sin cannot be accepted in the least degree of allowance. I also know that there is no sin that cannot be forgiven as long as you are sincere, learn from your mistakes, and change and move forward.
It's interesting what goes on in my mind and it's almost amazing. The Lord has truly blessed me. I don't deserve any of it, but He loves me. I hope that you will come to understand yourself as you come to understand how my brain works. Forgiveness and understanding is meant for all and I hope you will truly come to understand and to change. I really hope that my thoughts are thought-provoking.
I feel really good writing to you all or y'all about my traumatic experiences and experiences in general. They are important to understand. I don't want to come off as prideful or high-and-mighty... I only write to edify the children of God which is all of us. We are all children of our loving Heavenly Father. He loves you and I love you. I want you to feel God's love as we embark on this journey together. I am so excited to be a part of your life to give you down to earth needed direction on how we should live our lives like our Savior Jesus Christ. I pardon ahead of time for I am honest and mostly uncensored. I do this for a reason to help you understand reality and that we don't have to feel like we are always in a matrix. We can become better and we can do better as President Russell M. Nelson has said.
I do have this 120 sheet notebook that I am going to write in until I finish this front and back and I will be publishing each book that way so that you may be able to profit from my thoughts much sooner. Bear with me for I have much to say, much knowledge, and hopefully wisdom to pass on to you.
I pray that we may all be able to profit from one another's thoughts and stories that we may learn and grow to that stature of perfection.
I am indeed a perfectionist but I don't really have OCD or is it CDO? Hmm, oh well. I do have much to share with you and I'm super excited to get started. I'm thrilled! Like out of this world, Cloud 10.
Anyway, I hope to bring some enthusiasm into your life and that you and your families may profit greatly.
Are you excited? Because you should be! I love you and the Lord loves you. He wants you to prosper as much as I do. I love you! Did you hear that? Say it out loud, "I am loved."
I want to meet you and inspire you to become the best you, you could ever imagine. I want you to be big and to do big things in your life.
The most important thing, which there are a council most important things, is that you know that you are loved and that you are a child of God who is loved by matchless being. Someone just like you! Who suffered mortality who became an exalted being. The most high. We cannot comprehend that our essence has always existed. That we were intelligences before our spirits where even formed, that we were fertile material before we were formed? Maybe that doesn't make sense but who can really understand that all? We can try! I'm having fun, how about you? Definitely thought-provoking.
Think about this we lived with God before we came to Earth. We love him because he first loved us. We loved before we obtained our mortal beings. We felt with our spirits we knew things before we were physically formed. This is amazing stuff! Are you following along? Don't give up and never quit. Never Quit. Never Surrender.
I have a lot to say because I'm supposed to motivate you to become the best, even as God. We must look at the Eternal perspective of all of these things. Where will this choice take me? To jail? Hell? Heaven or to my next meal? Look each moment goes by for a divine purpose and I always say now that the past has passed for a divine purpose.
One thing that I will mention is that I am going to be completely honest with you and you can judge me if you so desire, but who is without sin? Please, cast the first stone. Go ahead you will have to answer to God for your wrong deeds and I will have to answer him for mine. These words I will write and that I am writing is again to build trust and mutual understanding in this chaotic world we now live in. We are all meant for greatness. I don't care who you are or what you are you are meant for even more than Eternal Joy, you are meant for Eternal progression. I am willing to council with anyone. I don't care what you have done, or where you have been, or what race you are we are all beloved Children of the most high. We are meant for perfection.
What is perfection? I might tell you if you truly want to know. Some people might think perfection is subjective. For example, one man might find big girls or short girls perfect and I might find tall and petite girls are perfect to me. That is subjective. We seem to create perfection. We are creators. We are God's children meant for godhood. Whether you are male or female you are meant for so much more than you could ever comprehend. You are meant for perfection and creating perfection. There is no need to compare because we are who we are. We are creatures meant to become creators. Simple as that. Now Brad, how can we achieve such a goal? You start now, you start creating, you start working, innovating, you begin to transpire and inspire for there is no other way. Eternity is a long time. For there is no time. This is it. If there is time then now is the time to transform and to change. Yes, in fact give yourself time because that is all you got.
Our mortal existence is but a blink of an eye. There is so much to accomplish, so much happiness, and joy to obtain. We just need to get to it and work.
The Lord told Adam and Eve, please, I command you to work and to take care of this garden. Multiply and replenish this Earth so that we may create more worlds. More progression, more creation, more of this, more of that. We need more for we are worth more.
God is the one in the background so we better turn around and listen. Let him guide you. Let him guard you, let him use you. Come follow me the Savior said. Come, do as I have done. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love people, love your God, and most importantly, love yourself. Yes, love yourself. That should be a commandment. Forgive yourself, love yourself.
Don't be as the hypocrites and crit your pants over not making any sense. Now did I get your attention back? Good, you need to pay attention.
The devil's job is to test you. Did you know that? God commanded Satan to test us. For he has fallen. Oh how the heavens wept over the fall of the Morning Star. Oh how we wept.
But this is not the end for us or that Morning Star. Believe it or not he was one of God's finest. At one point Satan loved God. He loved Him. But nonetheless pride entered into his heart which lead to envy, which led to malice, which led to murder, which led to where we find ourselves now. Begging God, please. Let this cup pass from me. Please let this pass, please.
Satan knows you and maybe at one point in time he loved you. Heck you might have studied together before he fell. Why would the heavens weep? Because we loved him. We knew his potential, but now he has fallen. He chooses to be in the dark because he loves it more than he loves you now. He has found his own kingdom there, and of course he wants you to join. It's his kingdom after all. Satan is most likely eternally opposed unless he himself repents. Is it possible? I think it is. Will it be easy for him? Probably not, God will choose whom he will forgive but of us it is required of us to forgive.
Will there always be opposition in all things? I believe so. For God I guess would cease to be God. Now what would happen to Satan if he repented? I don't even think we could comprehend that. I don't even know if that is possible but I do forgive Satan for the harm that he has caused me. I am at peace with the fact that I know he can change. I know it and God knows it, even if he doesn't know it yet. Satan is fighting right now. Will he always fight? Well think of it this way Satan is a title. The Devil is a title, like God is a title. You're always going to have prideful people. I can't say always but that is where perfection comes into play. There are laws that God has to follow or He would cease to be God. Now let's think about that for a moment.
With God all things are possible, why because He is perfect. Now is perfection actually subjective then or is it a state of being? I believe now that it is a state of being. What do you think?
I don't like to think that Satan is eternally opposed to Heavenly Father's plan, but maybe he is. After all God can't force Satan to repent. Satan has to choose for himself to repent. Now why would Satan be eternally opposed to God's plan? Maybe because he missed out. God's thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are higher than our ways. There is a reason why Satan doesn't have a body or his evil spirits. That would be a scary world to physically fight off evil like that, imagine the chaos. It would be hell on Earth literally. I don't even want to think of it. The ****, murder, and all that evil would be…. Let's just say God would never allow that to happen because He loves us. Just think of the evil the devil puts into us each day, just imagine that evil being bluntly evident. Again. God would not allow it. Evil is already apparent in the lives of many. Murderers, molesters, rapists, torturers, and terrorists. They will reap what they sow. For mercy can never rob justice. God would cease to be God, but God will never cease to be God. For he is all good and all-knowing.
I have a warning for those evil who willfully rebel against God that I will and do command you to repent. You need to repent, you need God's grace, and mercy to stop you now. There is no excuse for sining, but you can be forgiven. Turn to God now. I exhort you to call upon that God in sincerity and with full purpose of heart that your soul may be spared at that last day. Do not choose for it to be dreadful. Choose good. Choose God. Yes, I am crying repentance.
Those that teach their poor children to willfully sin is guilty of a severe sin. I exhort you to repent and to plead for forgiveness. You need to stop and turn away from your dark heart. Just stop. I plead with you as a loving brother to turn from the enemy of your soul.
If you choose to continue I cannot guarantee your salvation. Do not take this message for granted, I pray. Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself. If you truly love yourself you will do these things.
Love your soul, love your Heavenly Father. Satan wants you for his kingdom. His kingdom has nothing positive to offer. Mercy will never rob justice. Satan has already lost the war and the battle is between the wicked for the battle of the righteous has already been won.
No I would lie, battles will be fought in the defense of our righteousness. We as men have been commanded to protect our families for a Divine Purpose. There will be war and battle. Jeffrey R Holland knows we are in a battle right now. We are all enlisted till the conflict is O'er, who will volunteer? Buckler and shield. Haste to the battle, quick to the field. Truth is our colors. Proudly we wave, proudly they wave. We're joyfully, joyfully marching to our home.
We are children of a king and Satan is the enemy of your soul, he is eternally opposed to the Plan of Salvation. He had his chance and now he has done all of this. The Father of all lies. He wants you to think that he is for you, sure. Don't let him lull you away.
I'm afraid he will never obtain a body for God cannot allow it. Thank God he separated the light from the darkness. The wicked will always fight. They seem to be eternally opposed to God's plan because they choose to. They chose to fight against you in the premortal world. The creation of mortality to immortality needed to occur to separate God's elect from the evil. Any evil. The Lord and Savior is also a God of Peace. Not of War. He is my mighty tower from the storm, my refuge. Our refuge.
Satan thinks that this is his kingdom but he is so wrong. Sorry but not sorry Satan. You are eternally opposed to God's plan, why? Because you choose to be evil and there has to be unpardonable sins. I am so sad that this has occurred, but it is what it is and you need to be aware and accept that. Writing this out has helped me to accept that.
You know Satan has tried to influence me to be a Hitler? He tried. But I refuse to accept his offer for he has nothing to offer. There's plenty of evil out there and I guarantee you that there are plenty of secret combinations out there looking to torture you, kill you, molest you, and all sorts of wickedness. How will you be protected? Walk in the light.
I exhort you to resist evil, resisting the temptations of the cunning and crafty one. Fly the colors of peace and loyalty. Blue and white. In the flag of the United States the red represents the blood shed for those who sacrificed their selves for our freedom. So fly that red, white, and blue. White represents purity and virtue and the blue represents courage and loyalty. And I'll add that the red represents not only sacrifice but love.
God bless the United States, God bless our troops, God bless our land, and our families. God bless us all and that we may weed out all corruption. God bless us all, freedom for all. Liberty and justice for all.
Honestly I don't deserve to be even writing this book for it is by the grace of God that we are saved.
It Is by grace that we are saved not by works. By grace are we saved not by works lest any man should boast.
We work to simply show our loyalty and love and yes we will be greatly rewarded for those works. Salvation is through grace and grace alone. Oh, Amazing Grace. For it is amazing.
God loves you, amen.