And then what?

'Hell, Yeah!' I shouted at the top of my voice. 'You heard me right. You wanna hear it again huh?' my face was probably red due to anger, embarrassment and frustration. Today anger was out of bounds and there was no way to control it. I had held it in the whole time and had never blurted out a single word to the outside world. People never would have imagined that I could say it out loud. But I knew what I was saying and no one can stop me now. 'You are right. Why not say it out loud and clear? I am fat, I weigh over 190 pounds. You got a problem with that? And what do you expect huh? You think it's gonna stop me? Then mind you people that this dream of your is not going to last long. Get your head straight and listen clear you cannot stop me.'

I had said it at last. And, OH MY GOD, what have I done? Someone please… No, anyone please tell me this is a dream. No, this scene was the highlight of the whole act. But, this was a little embarrassing since it was a scene in front of a whole lot of 200 hundred people. They stood there in silence, they who had shouted at me, who spoke ill behind my back, who had laughed at me, who had thrown arrows of bad comments, who made fun of me, who had embarrassed me in front of the others. They were staring at me now. But I could not find any amount of remorse in their eyes. Did I say anything rude? No, I had spoken my mind for the very first time on this vulnerable topic. Was I embarrassing myself? I couldn't answer this question which kept ringing in my mind again and again. Did I just let my weakness out and open in front of the world now that had always waited prying to drag the people off their feet, created guilt and ripped them off their confidence. Some part of my imaginary brain was already running wild. I was imagining myself broadcasting in the television, making a YouTube video and posting a status on Facebook, messaging in Snapchat, Instagram and what not? But none of them would have been this powerful or effective. Me, saying it out loud in front of people I knew, kith and kin, my friends and above all the press and that too in my wedding dress and on my wedding day was definitely going to have some effect. I could not consider it less than an achievement. Or in other words people would call it more than a mere embarrassing situation.

What were people going to think about me? How will I ever be able to look into the eyes of the people who had trusted me? Will they treat me differently from now onward? Will they be more polite to me? Or will they simply tease me even more? Should I maintain this act for sometime after this, or should I simply end it with a sad note? Will this change anything?

I seriously think that scientists should conduct more research on women's brain. It was because there were at least a million thoughts arising every single nanosecond. Questions and answers went in the form of quiz competition in my brain. Some had firm answers, some had logically convincing answers, some questions did not have any answers and some had answers but I could not accept them to be true.

Now, I knew as I looked into his eye. There he was the one I was going marry. But was my wedding going to stop? Was it going to end? I had longed for this to end this way for quite some time now.