6 CHRISTA BLAMES HERSELF

Hurrying out of the room. 'It was still early and everyone sleeps late on Saturdays.

Mom and Dad do their rounds around nine. And I supposed with the wedding today, they might wake up earlier.

I only hope she is up by then and out of the room.

Also, I don't know what arrangement Aliza made with them after the wedding.

So whatever plans are made I must find a way to rearrange it for her to remain a few extra days.

We must get to know each other better and what happened last night between us.

I will like to share that compassion and pleasure with her when she is awake and aware of us together.'

Driving out from the back, the few vehicles are still in the yard.

This means, 'Carla, Massy, Jerome, Carol, and Lester are home with their family.

With them all home, Thomas was more convinced that his Mom and Dad will make their rounds earlier.'

Whispering a silent word of prayer, "Lord with what I have done, You won't listen to me a sinner. If you are listening please help me so I could make things right between us.

Lord, I don't know-how, so please forgive me and help me to keep my promise and fix this in a such way that no one will know and ask questions.

And Father God, please let Christa wake up before the morning rounds. I won't want to hear what will happen.

I am glad I am away because if they had found us together. The house would have been in an uproar, or chaos might be the most appropriate word.

If she doesn't say anything, I could easily say I stayed at the apartment in town. So no one will get any blame."

****

Opening her eyes, Christa felt confused for a minute then recollects where she was. "Last night, because of the girls, I slip away. Oh my God, I was so harassed.

I just slip into this room, but I was lying on the floor, so how come I am on a bed. And why do I have this feeling that my body was violated and desecrated?

And why do I feel this soreness and this pain?" Removing the covers, to get up only to feel her body was hurting. "Oh God, what type of people you sent me to?"

Feeling the pain, "Have I been raped, Lord was I so tired and drunk with sleep that I felt nothing?

Someone could have killed me. But by whom? Who would do such a thing? Aliza assured me that I will be safe."

Feeling the hot tears flowing down, "Oh God, why was I so obstinate and stubborn? Why didn't I listen to Papa? He was so headstrong against my coming.

Now I understand what he was speaking about, and he was right but it is too late now. Oh my Lord if only I had listened to him, this won't have happened. Please help me now, what am I going to do? And whose room is this?"

Searching for a towel thinking, "If I say something they might say I am lying or I want to make trouble.

Oh God please help me, I don't know what to do and what about Paul. He knew I was angry when I didn't give in to his nagging.

That was one of the reasons I leave home, thinking I won't be home so he won't nag me until the wedding.

But how can I return now? I have nothing to offer to him as I had promised. And Aliza is depending on me, but I must leave this place. These people have stolen everything from me."

Walking into the bathroom, trying to ignore what had happened and the pain she was experiencing.

Opening the shower she allowed the warm water to wash away every ill feeling in her body.

Rubbing her skin vigorously, hoping whatever happens last night will wash away as the tears flow, for her loss, now she cannot return to Paul.

Either to her home, this will bring shame and reproach to Errol's Ministry. After the wedding, I must leave this place immediately. So no one will know or ask questions.

Turning the shower allowing it to fall lightly when Christa heard the voices. "Tom, I know you could hear me. Tom, we are not finding Christa."

Christa's mind click, 'Is this room her brother? The one who receives me at the airport?

He did not say his name but he is the only one who knew I came. Oh God, I brought this upon myself, this is entirely my fault, for running out on him.

He must be angry with me for giving him the silent treatment. Then bouncing him straight into those vultures' hands. Is this his way of taking revenge?'

Hearing Aliza's concern, she was tempted to venture out but then.

Christa thought, 'She will have to explain what she was doing here in his room?

Oh God, it will have too many questions; and no appropriate answer. Furthermore, who will give me an answer to my problem and believe anything I say?'

Ignoring her concerns, Christa continues bathing, allowing the warm water to flow more heavily.

Which was easing the soreness from her body and brought a slight relief. Averaging about fifteen minutes, hoping they had left the room.

Christa releases the water pressure once again. Trying to listen if there was any sound coming from the room.

Knowing those three don't ever stay quiet. Quickly venturing out the bathroom, Christa, hurried and locks the door.

Then changes into a cotton dress that Errol insists she takes along with her. His words were, "You are always hiding behind those ugly-looking clothes."

Errol never likes Paul saying, "He is a deadbeat." 'What they don't understand is Paul accepted our poverty.

Dad never likes him either, saying, "He is a scamp and is only after one thing.

Maybe they were both right but look what has happened now?

The one thing I was supposed to be safeguarding is lost forever, and I had no say in the matter.

I might have given in to Paul, instead of losing it to someone I knew nothing about?"