SAVING GRACE

Ananya's pov

I was sitting in the car on my way back to home in Mumbai in deep thought. I am a chief programmer and the main decision maker in the haynes cooperation. The company produces video games, software and now we are stepping into network security as well. I had been living in Seattle ever since I was 14. This wasn't my choice, this was a compulsion. When my mother passed away I was just 12, she died in fire broke out. But I don't remember how. I had seen her dying in front of me, but I was just 12 and according to doctors my brain couldn't handle such a trauma and I lost my memories.

All I remember is that my 12 years old self calling for help, crying so that someone would come and save her and there is fire all around. The tragedy was so dark and immense and it took a toll on me and that's why it's difficult for me get them back. The chances of me getting them back is almost null.

After that Pa, who's actually my maternal uncle took in my custody and decided to raise me as his own daughter. But ever since mom's death I had been having nightmares and panic attacks about it and I have grown a phobia to fire. I am a pyrophobic.

When Pa brought me home for the first time I was scared as hell and didn't mingle with any one in the family. Shori his elder son was so happy when he was told that I am his sister and he became my big protective brother. His name is actually Shorya though. It took me a lot of time to adjust with them, but slowly slowly I started warming up to everyone. Ritesh the younger son is 4 years younger than and Shori is just 6 months older than me.

But then again when has my life been so easy. Something had to happen. So my grandmother happened. My mother married to a man who my grandparents didn't like so they disowned her. After few months of marriage she got pregnant with me and then she found out that my father was using her for money, and since her family had disowned her he left us. My mother couldn't come back to her family so she shifted to Dehradun and then raised me there till I was 12. After that a fire broke out in our home and she died, Pa adopted me.

My Ma, Jahnvi Bajaj, pa's wife had raised me like her other two children and since I am the only girl in the house, she loves me more. But my grandmother didn't like me, and when I came to live with them I always had a trouble sleeping because of my nightmares. My mother had made a ballerina music box for me and I used to sleep with that box because it's melody kind of soothed me when I was scared.

Since my grandmother wanted me to go out of the house, she once threw all of my belongings out of the house along with the box and it broke. Pa tried to repair it but he couldn't. That was the worst day of my life, it was the only memory that I had of mom and she broke it. After that my nightmares got even worse and Pa decided that I can't stay here peacefully so he sent me to Seattle.

Shori and Ritesh were heartbroken along with Ma and Pa but they knew I could never get better here so they adjusted. I had been gone through many therapies, psychologist and psychiatrist for my treatment but nothing works. I still have nightmares about my mother's death but the treatments had reduced my panic attacks and now I can at least go near the fire, if it's not too big.

My family called me all of a sudden demanding that they are missing me a lot and since my condition has been better I should move back to India. Though I was reluctant at first, but Ma insisted and used her mother card that she knew would always work on me so I agreed to shift back to India. And right now I am on my way back to home.

My family knows that I am coming back, but not the time, it's a surprise for them. The car turns into the familiar alley way which is not at all familiar now. It's all changed and nothing is same. But I can't complain, it's been like 7 years since I came back. Last I came here when I completed my graduation. I always avoided coming back here, courtesy to my grandmother's immense love for me. Note the sarcasm.

The big door opens and the driver parks the car out of my house and I enter my home as the nostalgia hits me strong. The gardener uncle looks at me when he was watering the plants and takes a double take when he realizes that it's me. I chuckle at his reaction and press a finger on my lips silently asking him to keep quiet which he does eargerly.

I press the doorbell waiting for the door to open. The moment door opens Ma takes a double take before bursting into tears and holding onto me like her most precious treasure. She cries for the unknown length of time holding on me as everyone in my family huddles at the door, everyone smiling brightly when they see me. My releases me when Pa tell her to let me breathe which she does, but not before peppering my face with kisses. I missed her.

After that Pa holds me his broad chest kissing me softly and telling me how much he loves me and missed me. Then comes Shori who does the same but twirls me in excitement. Ritesh follows next then we all proceed to sit in the living room, when everyone has got their hugs from me. But Pa is still unsatisfied so he tucks me under his arm as I sit beside him.

We all catchup with each other as Ma claims that how she is never letting me go back to Seattle and would keep me here in India.

"Ana dear, you are turning 27 now, when do you plan on settling ?"

Ma asks and I stifled a groan. Same question she has been asking me past 3 years except every time she uses different words.

"Ma, you know I am not interested in marriage." I tell her in a soft voice, Pa asks her to drop the topic but today Ma is not having non of it.

"Oh come on Anand, don't you start supporting her in this. We aren't getting any older and she is 27, it's high time she finds herself a suitable partner and gets married."

Ma say in a serious tone, and all of my happy mood deflates as I realize that she is not going to drop the topic. All the excitement and happiness that I was feeling since I had come back vanishes into the air.

"Ma, you know what I feel about marriage." I complain softly trying to make her understand my point of view.

"I know, but not every marriage turns out like your parents. Look at me and Anand for example. We have been married for 31 years Ana. You have to let go of your past and move on, honey."

She say softly with a sad smile and I simply nod, making a lame excuse that I am tired so I am going to rest.