1 SAFFOCATION

" listen" - wife's voice.

"What" - Rajendra replied with a sigh.

"The potatoes are gone, the oil is gone. Bring them." - The wife say.

"How quickly your potatoes and oil are finished" - Rajendra said.

"Yes, I may have drunk your oil and eaten raw potatoes," said his wife angrily.

"son,my medicine is running out. There are only two left." Rajendra's father said shaking the glasses by hand.

He became silent and started using his mobile phone. But his mind was racing. He thought to himself, "Corona has such an epidemic in the city. Curfew has been imposed. My business is closed. Employees have to be paid. My business, which was hit by last year's lockdown, somehow paid the government tax".

"Oops" - Rajendra let out a long sigh.

What happened?" Asked the wife, looking questioningly.

"Nothing," said Rajendra.

There was silence for a while. Father got up and went to his room.

The wife asked again in a loving voice - "What happened? Tell me. I see a sad face too?"

"What can I say to you? The factory was closed for six months in last year's lockdown. Anyway, taxes were paid. The factory reopened six months later but the market was sluggish. The curfew was imposed again. It's over. " Taking a deep breath, he said, "listen cannot be deducted from household expenses."

"Tell me what to cut the expenses on? I'll do it." - The wife replied calmly.

A moment of deep silence. The sound of falling needles comes. "don't worry ,everything will be fine. There is a God."

"But how soon did the goods run out? Didn't just bring father's medicine?" - Rajendra said in a tired voice.

"Soon? When soon? Today is the 28th day of curfew!" - Wife exclaimed.

"Huu." - Rajendra started thinking and said - "I will go tomorrow."

The wife said, "The market is open only from 6 am to 8 am. You only get up at 8 am. Pay me. I'll go or send my son."

"Why send a son? The current wave of corona is affecting the youth. I don't know what it is?" - Rajendra said angrily.

"Then I'll go myself," said the wife softly.

"What time do you go? You don't have time from morning till night to take care of your housework." - Rajendra said looking at his wife lovingly - "I will go myself tomorrow."

"get up" - he is startled by his wife's voice.

You don't have to get up . Let's have some tea "- the wife said giving a cup of tea - "Hurry up. You have to bring a lot of stuff." - A piece of paper is extended towards Rajendra.

"What is this?" - Rajendra asked.

"List of goods." - said the wife.

Rajendra took the list and looking at it said- "Such a long list?"

"Where is it long? I have written only the most necessary things. That too is half and half. I will read it to you. And you may say what is needed, what is not needed?" - said the wife, waving her hand towards the list.

"Leave it," said Rajendra.

Rajendra got up. He finished his morning routine and came out with his helmet to ready. He was about to kick the bike to start when his wife came running from inside.

"Listen! I've completely forgotten. You have to bring father's medicine. Let's take this prescription." - The wife gave the prescription with a smile of remorse.

"I remembered" - Rajendra said to erase his wife's guilt and took the prescription.

"If you knew, why did you forget the prescription?" - said the wife.

"stop it." - Rajendra spoke angrily and walked away.

He returned two hours later. Taking father's medicine and household items.

"What happened? didn't you feel well, what happened?" - the wife asked in a worried tone.

"No, I'm tired. How tired I must have been after so many days of work! Do you have a cup of tea?" - Rajendra said in a tired voice.

"Yes. father is also waiting to have tea with you," said the wife.

The wife brought tea. After a while, she was fed to all.

At dinner, Rajendra said, "I don't want to eat. You eat."

"Why do you say that? Isn't it okay?" The wife asked anxiously.

"No" - Rajendra said

"Then why not? You should eat a little. if you don't eat, you will get sick, want you?" His wife forced him to worry.

Rajendra got up from the table after eating a little.

While sleeping, his wife made Ayurvedic kada (Soup) and gave it to everyone. She went to the bedroom with two glass of Ayurvedic kada(soup). Rajendra was lying on the bed.

"I have brought Kada(soup), eat it," said his wife, entering the room.

Rajendra did not answer anything.

Putting the trae on the table, she said, "Why don't you listen and speak?" Shaking Rajendra's body to wake up to him. "Do you have a fever or what?" Said and touch his forehead. " oh You have fever." She hurriedly took out the thermometer from the first aid box and handed it to Rajendra. The fever had reached 102 degrees. "The flame had reached 102 degrees. What to do now?" In a panicked voice, his wife said, "drink hurry . I'll call father. We has to go to the hospital."

"No, it's okay. i'll be fine soon . U drink ur kada(soup)." Rajendra said in a sick voice.

It is night time. He should be taken to the hospital tomorrow. Thinking that his wife had forced him to drink Kada.she drink also.

Rajendra said - "please sleep on the other place . Do not sleep with me."

The wife nodded in acceptance. She sleeped on the floor.

The next morning, the wife gave tea to her father-in-law and told him about Rajendra's illness. Carrying a cup of tea, she went to her bedroom.father also went with his tea.

"Get up and have some tea. I made it with ginger and pepper." - The wife said in a loving voice

. Rajendra opened his eyes and looked. He saw his father behind his wife.

"How are you, son? What happened all of a sudden?" - the father asked in a worried voice.

"Nothing, father." - Rajendra coughed and took tea

The wife asks - "What do i make food for you"

"Jaulo (a Nepali dish made by adding a lot of water to rice, lentils, ginger, garlic, salt, turmeric etc. which is eaten when you are sick)" - said Rajendra.The wife went to the kitchen.

"Son, go to the hospital, see what happens," said the father in a worried tone.

"Why did go to the hospital?" - Rajendra said in a sick voice.

"Don't say that, son, should be treated after falls ill. Go to the hospital without being stubborn," the father reminded.

"Will we go later, after finished lunch. I want to sleeping now," said Rajendra and lay down on the bed.

In the afternoon, his wife came to Rajendra with jaaulo and milk. Picking hIm up, she said, "Get up and eat. How are you now?"

" I'm Okay. Keep it. I'll wash my face and eat." - Rajendra said.

"I am coming to feed father. You should eat," said the wife in a commanding tone.

"You eat ur meal too and come back . I have to talk to you." - Rajendra said.

"Okey," said the wife, and went on to kitchen .

After finished the kitchen work, the wife went to the room. She see that Rajendra's condition was very serious

"Father, father. What happened to him? Come quickly. Come here soon. See what happened to father?" - The wife terribly called her father-in-law and son. Father and son are runed. Rajendra was finding it difficult to breathe. He was holding his chest and sighing. It was as if something was stuck in his breathing tube and he was coughing. They called an ambulance and took him to the hospital.

The hospital tested Corona and admitted Rajendra. The report was yet to come. All of them stayed in the hospital all day. In the evening, his wife and son went home. About two hours later, the son returned to the hospital with food. Rajendra's son and father feed Rajendra together. Hospital care or something else! Rajendra's condition was little bit fine.

While eating, Rajendra said, "If I have corona, I have to go to the government hospital."

"What does it say? It's the best hospital in town." - The father said angrily.

"Yes, father it is a good hospital. It is very familiar but also very expensive," said Rajendra in a soft voice.

"What happens when it is expensive? You have to be healed, "said the father.

"Father, understand me. Last year, the lockdown was a trade slowdown and whatever to tax pay. This time the curfew was imposed again. Employees should be paid. The children had to be educated and had to run the house expenses. I don't have much money now, father "- Rajendra said requesting voice .

"What do you mean, father? You have to recover anyway. I'll drop out of school. I'll tell my sister to drop out of school, too. But the treatment will be done in this hospital." The son said in an excited voice.

Rajendra fell silent. There was a deep silence.

Dad walked home carrying a tiffin.

The next morning, his wife came to the hospital with milk and boiled eggs in a thermos.

Rajendra looked at his wife and said in a hoarse voice - "Listen, if I have corona, take me to the government hospital. This hospital is very expensive. Now I don't have much money."

"What do you mean by that? You have no money! I have a lot of jewelry. Jewelry is the treasure of happiness and dignity! I sell all jewelry but the treatment is done in this hospital," said the wife in a firm voice.

"That's it. That's what my father has been saying since yesterday, mother," said the son.

"Don't talk like that. I feel sad, I want to cry." - said the wife with tears in her eyes.

Rajendra started eating. Everyone else fell silent. The wife went home. At about 11 o'clock, father came to the hospital with food.

While eating, Rajendra said, "Father, you understand me. Everyone else in the house is younger than me. You are the eldest. I have obeyed everything you have done so far. Please accept this one thing from me."

"So far, you have obeyed me, son. You must obey me too. We have spoken for your good. We will manage the money. Don't be stubborn." The father said in a dominant tone. Emptiness again.

After receiving the report, the son went to see the report. After a while, son and 2 others came to the PPE kit. The nurse word boy or doctor was unrecognizable.

The son said - "Father's report corona came positive. Now he should be taken to ICU."

Rajendra was placed on a stretcher.

"Father" - Rajendra said crying. The father extended his hand to hold Rajendra's hand,

but a nurse in the PPE kit grabbed his father's hand. "From today until you are healed, you will not be able to touch him there." The nurse turned to her son and said, "You have to test the corona too."

They carried him on a stretcher.

Rajendra was looking at his father and son with a request. There were tears in his eyes. The father and son also followed Rajendra's stretcher with tired steps. There were tears in their eyes too. Rajendra was taken to ICU room. The father and son began testing Corona.

Rajendra started looking at the ceiling from the ICU bed and started thinking- "Such private hospitals charge millions of rupees for corona treatment. The loan taken to do business has not been paid. I am in debt. Last year's lockdown slowed business. The tax was paid. How much tax has increased in Nepal! It is difficult for small entrepreneurs like us to work. Now it is difficult to stay in business. Even more so with Corona. Oh my god..." Rajendra turned around and started thinking again, "I don't have much money in my account after paying taxes, paying the employees and deducting the bank's interest. How can I pay the private hospital bill?" -Anxious, Rajendra begins to think even more - "Sons and daughters have to be taught too. What a foolish thing to do, son! He leaves school for me and even tells his sister! Will I survive by darkening their future? O God, what will society say to me? If that happened then I would be dead. What to do with such a life? But no one understands. The government hospital costs only a fraction of the cost here, So I want to go to a government hospital. "Why go to such a hospital?" What kind of question is this? My wife doesn't understand muchWill she sell her jewelry and treat me? Has gone mad Do I get treatment by selling my wife's jewelry?"- Rajendra's manhood wakes up. He turns around again - "Oh, you shouldn't be treated here. Nobody cares. Even the father does not understand. Sons and daughters are children. What have they seen now and in life? So they are stubborn. But the wife has to understand! No, she doesn't understand. What to do ...? "Rajendra felt it difficult to breathe. He got down from the hospital bed. He opened the door and came out. he walked hospital 's corridor . Suddenly he see a ladder and started to climb it. Rajendra reached the fourth floor of the hospital. Looked at down from the rooftop terrace. He see a few people came and went . Even though there was few people but , he hearted noises. In that noise, he only hearted 'treatment costs, treatment costs'. He suffocates. The hand closed both ears. Even when he closed his ears, he heard more noise. He became even more suffocated. He climbed on the roof bend and jumped down......

Author

Pallawi shah

7 june 2021