1 A new beginning

Under the cover of darkness, hiding from the city lights, I vanished like I was once trained to do. If anyone walked into this alley, even though it would be well nigh impossible to find this place even if you looked for it, they would just see a dark alley. I stood completely still, embracing the darkness around me, and enjoying the sound of nothingness. This was the only part of the city that gave me this experience, all the other parts were too well-lit, or the sounds of the city would be too deafening.

I had apparently in my almost zen-state unknowingly gazed up, bad mistake, as a sudden light hit me like a concussion grenade. Still seeing white, I could make out the silhouette of an airship. Streaming across the night sky, the flashing light from the LED screen attached to the giant airship, lit up the moonless night sky as an additional moon.

Cursing under my breath, and uttering a few foul words here and there, I was soon able to see clearly again without too much pain. Who was the knobhead that thought up that idea, I thought.

I was not able to finish the rest of my thoughts as I were rudely interrupted by an irritating but familiar sound.

" Can my day become worse.."

Not enjoying that my last haven in this world was being destroyed by two of the things that I hated, I started to turned around and leave without trying to finish listening to the message being broadcasted by the speakers on the airship. I could not care less. I have lived my 22 years on this earth without caring much about the world around me. The only thing that matters is myself, nothing else. Others might think that I sound like an egoistic prick, but this way of thinking is the thing that kept me alive.

When I was 10 years old my mother died. My father had left me and my mother when I was too young to remember, and she had tried to sustain her and myself alone before her body gave up on her. With no one left to take care of me, I got bounced around between foster homes and the orphanage. Apparently, did not many people enjoy the prospect of having a poor kid with a harsh attitude. I was not the model foster kid that people wanted as you can imagine.

With my sixteenth birthday coming up, the orphanage finally had enough of me. They gave me an ultimatum; join the army or live on the street and die like dog you are. I tried the other option. I was naive in thinking that I could survive on the harsh street of Las Vegas by my own, but what did I know, I was only a kid. When I had finally been without proper food for a week, I joined the army.

The army accepted all kinds of people, even me. Maybe they even prefered people like me. Too poor, no background and no family that could mourn your death when you died. I survived the initial training, and was placed in a godforsaken place with my brothers in arms. We fought, we clawed, and did anything to survive the day, but it was not enough. At the end of my tour I had made a name of myself by killing an enemy commander from a record breaking distance, but it did not make me happier as I was the only left in my platoon. Of the initial 50 people, I was the only one that survived. Even my lieutenant suffered the same fate as the others.

The people up above did not care about the losses, they were never important from the beginning. They were only poor trash that no one cared enough to remember when they died. They did though recognize my achievement of killing an enemy commander, and 24 months after my enrollment, I was promoted to lieutenant. But instead of making me command my own platoon and send me back to hell I just came back from, they sent me to special forces.

" My talents were too important to be unused, my commander had said before signing my transfer papers "

By now I had lost everything of the person that I once was before I joined, and the only thing that was left was a killing-machine that would shoot anyone or anything at orders. My time in special operational group alpha-zero-one, was three continuous years of days were I would not know if I would survive to see the light of morning. I can not make out most days as single events, most of it is a blur that flows together, something that I rather forget than remember.

My time at special forces ended abruptly with me failing a mission. Well they call it a failure, I rather see it as my only successful mission during those three hellish years. The squad that I had gained command over by climbing through the ranks during the years, was tasked with the mission of eliminating an important target. During the mission we faced an unexpected fallback that left me with a decision: continue with the mission and let half your squad die whilst covering you, or turn your back on the mission.

If it was the old me that had emerged during these three years, I would have taken the first alternative without flinching. But something inside of me had told me that I would lose my last bit of humanity if I would continue on with the mission, and let the brothers that I had fought tooth and nail with for so many years die. So in the last minute, I made the order to fall back.

My commanders were, as expected, not pleased with my decision. They felt that I had betrayed my country and my fellow brothers by giving up on the mission, and the same day I returned to base, I got discharged from the military with a small compensation for my achievements.

Without a place to call home, I made the decision to travel the world with the small amount of money I had received for my time in special forces. It was not much, but I was able to travel for a year before running out. Luckily I had planned far enough into the future so that I was able to return to America before I was completely broke. So on my 22th birthday, my foot once again touched american soil. Some people might feel a sense of nostalgia when they return home from a long trip, but the only thing I felt was the rumbling of my stomach.

To solve my predicament I started to take stray jobs, working as a bouncer at bars during the nights, and as a waiter during the days. I made enough to put a roof above my head and food on the table, but my life was not something people would call enjoyable. Still better than the army days, I use to tell myself to keep me from doing something stupid. But the days were getting harder to get through, and the only piece of enjoyment I had left was standing in the alley behind the bar I worked in and enjoy the feeling of not existing. That is how we got to where we are today.

The all too familiar sound I could hear came from the same emergency door that I had used to get out for a smoke , and and a familiar face walked into the unlit alley. It was my boss, Antonio Camorra. Not the nicest of men if you pissed him off, and especially not someone you would want to meet in this kind of alley if you had ripped him off. Luckily for me and the continuation of this story, I hadn't, and he treated me fairly for being an employee.

" Jack where the hell are you now!? "

I should probably feel embarrassed right about now, but I had exited the bar on so many occasions the same way and this situation was not something new, so I just went with same excuse I always did.

" I'm sorry Mr.Camorra, I thought that I heard someone trying to break in through the emergency exit, so I felt obliged, as the bouncer of this establishment, to check the source of the sound, and make sure that no one was hiding in the alley "

It was a bullshit excuse for an answer, but I knew that he appreciated if you were well mannered in how you spoke, so I threw in some fancy words in there just make it feel more sincere.

He jumped in fright when the darkness gave him an answer, but I saw that he calmed down when he had processed the fact that it was my voice.

" Dude, show your ugly face before you start talking. You will not have any employer left if you make him die from a heart attack "

He grinned, my excuse worked once again.

" Yes of course Mr.Camorra. It will not happen again "

He looked up towards my eyes. Antonio Camorra was not a tall man, just under 5 feet 3 inches, but he gave off a feeling that made you respect him. Even though I was standing almost a feet taller than him, I still looked him in the eyes to show my respect for the man.

And not dumber than any other, he received my gesture and smirked.

" Why do I feel that we have had the same conversation before. And if I remember correctly, you promised something similar back then? "

This was a farce that we had gotten use to play, and I would not be dumb enough to stop playing now.

" You must be mistaken sir, I would never try to trick such a smart man as yourself "

He smirked once again, obviously getting a high from being in the power position over a man clearly punching above his weight.

" Stop with bootlicking and get back to work. Those nice words of yours might work on the ladies walking through these doors, but I am not one of them "

As he said, he is not of the gracefully ladies walking through the doors of this bar. Because if he was, I would have had to use more than a few nice words to gain their favour.

I started walking towards the emergency exit, that was not even marked with the classic green sign with a running stick figure, but before I had sat both feet through the door, a small hand pat me on the back in an attempt to gain my attention. It was of course no other than my lovely boss. Even though I felt a slight pinch in my nerves when he obviously let me walk past him before trying to tell me something, so that I would have to turn around once again. I still showed him the same respect, because I did not have the same enthusiasm towards an empty stomach as I had during my orphanage days.

" Yes Mr.Camorra, is there something I could do for you? "

His reaction told the whole story, my thought was confirmed.

" I have something for you in my office that I think that you will enjoy. You can pick it up after your shift has ended, now get back to work "

He left without saying another word, and the small man walked into the door and towards the deafening sound of trash music.

I stood still for a while before I shock myself back to wake, and I once again went back to shitty existence I tried to call "life".

Chapter one - Fin