25 Interlude: State Guest

June 1981

In my original timeline, Jimmy Carter, incumbent US President, went up against Ronald Reagan, a B-movie star prone to gaffes, for re-election to the American Presidency. Due to multiple foreign policy debacles and a country mired in memories of stagflation and possibly because of a disastrous televised debate, Jimmy Carter ended being a footnote in American history.

In this new timeline, he had just secured America an extremely beneficial economic deal that was already bearing fruit as domestic inflation plummeted and the private sector went into investment overdrive. Iran had still taken American civilians hostage but instead of the empty posturing of the previous timeline, in this one American warships had already flooded the Gulf of Hormuz and American troops were at the border of Iran thanks to Americas new friend in the region....me.

So, there was no October 1980 debate debacle and Jimmy Carter won by reelection by a landslide. That fact gave me nightmares. When it was just Iraq's future that I was affecting it felt small...almost like a game. But the course of the world was going to change drastically and I was going to lose my advantage of foresight.

With the Kurdish Affair settled and the Eastern border silent as Iran grappled with international condemnation and economic sanctions, it felt like I'd taken several bottles of Valium. My stress levels came down to normal after years.

In March 1981 I got a surprise as the Americans rekindled their interest in inviting me to Washngton as President Carter's first State Guest after re election. I was churlishly thinking of declining but Kamal reminded me to keep my objectives in mind. So I ultimately accepted. Being honoured in the White House is a whole thing and it kind of requires a female companion to have any kind of impact. I, did not have a wife nor had I had a chance to find any new romantic partners because of statecraft. So, I decided to co-opt Saddams daughters as my official guests as they would be in their summer holidays. They had also complained that they didnt want to spend their holidays in France with their mother who had grown to become sullen and vindictive after Udays sentencing.

They loved the whole guest of honour thing. They had never been to America before and were astounded by the vastness of the place. We received the full shebang in terms of military welcome et al after we stepped off our plane on to DC's tarmac. They were enthralled.

I'll be honest,I had always found the White House to be extremely tacky. The whole DC government area was modelled on ancient Rome. Imagine your neighbour coming into money and deciding to do up his house like what he imagined a thousand year old monarch lived like on another continent. Yuck. But the girls loved it.

The Carters were extremely affable. Jimmy was a gem. He had some pretty poor advisors in my opinion but the man himself was like a stereotype of a humble, small town, good 'ol American farmer. His wife Rosalynn took to Saddams daughters immediately and extended genuine motherly affection to them within minutes of meeting them. I was thankful to her for that. They had begun to get on my nerves as we flew over Syria.

We did the whole thing dinner thing in tuxedos with the rich and famous of the East Coast toasting me and my daughters. It was lavish and entertaining. But what was more fun was the mingling session before dinner where Jimmy introduced me to the who's who of American industry. What I learned from that session was that there was a tremendous demand to invest in Iraq...fuckinay.

After all the shenanigans were completed, Jimmy led me to the private lawns behind the main building where a table and some comfortable chairs had been set up. This was going to be the meat of the whole trip. At least from his perspective. It would give him a chance to assess me.

"Your Excellency, I believe that you are partial to a certain beer belonging to our neighbours up north," he said calling for a waiting server who brought me an ice cold Molson. I nodded and smiled genuinely. It was a balmy evening and I'd refrained from eating much. A Molson sounded perfect.

"This is delightful Mr. President. But I insist that you call me Saddam. If we waste time and words calling each other Excellencies and Mr. Presidents, we will not be able to speak frankly like two men."

Jimmy chuckled and nodded appreciatively, "A man after my own heart! I hate all the formality myself. If you cant call a man by his name how will you ever get to know him."

We sat in companionable silence for a while, I sipped on my Molson and him on a lemonade.

"I have a good feeling about the coming few years," he said finally, looking off into the distance. "A new era of engagement with the Middle East and Central Asia. Especially with Iraq as a key partner."

"Hmmmm."

He looked at me, "You dont agree?"

I shrugged, "Who am I to disagree Jimmy? Your country is the most powerful nation on the planet."

Jimmy chuckled, "I think the Soviet Union would dispute that."

"You know better than me that internally they're in trouble. People always think that what has been will continue as is ad infinitum. And then when things change suddenly they become catatonic from shock. The Soviet Union won't survive this decade."

"Wow!" he said taking a sip. "That's quite a prediction."

I shrugged again.

"But I am keen on hearing your thoughts. I truly value this new partnership," he prompted.

I turned to look at him. Stared him in the eyes and saw the earnestness. Then I got up, twisted my chair to face him and sat down looking at him intently.

"You and yours see the world as blue vs. red. Communism vs. Democracy. But the West and the Soviet Union make up a minority of humanity put together. You're missing the forest for the trees."

He also awkwardly shifted his chair to talk to me better. "I'm sorry I truly dont follow."

"Afghanistan," I said simply.

It was his turn to shrug. "What about it?"

"This is sincere advice from a nominally Muslim Arab ruler. Do not get involved with the Mujahideen."

"Who says we're involved with them?"

I clicked my tongue, "Jimmy you said we could speak frankly. Now you're insulting me."

He held his hands up in apology. "You're right you're right. I'm sorry. But why shouldn't we get involved with the Mujahideen?"

"Because you dont understand them. You dont understand Islam. You've convinced yourself that you're halting Communism by supporting freedom fighters. But they dont see you as friends."

"What do they see us as?"

"The Great Satan. His hands in every pocket, disrupting every life. Taking things that dont belong to him."

Jimmy laughed but without humour. "Come on that's just the ramblings of a madman."

I shook my head, "The Ayatollah was just putting into words what many Muslims already believe. They see a fundamental difference in Western culture and their culture."

Jimmy looked perplexed, "But why? We offer freedom and progress and individual liberties. We dont push our faith on anyone. We're secular."

I shook my head again," I know that. But the man on the street hears differently from his Imam or Mullah. They tell him that your women are sluts and your men are corrupt animals. That you have no morals and that you dont follow any god let alone Allah. That you are driven by greed."

Jimmy looked furious,"That is outrageous and slanderous!"

I nodded, "But that is what they believe. And the Mujahideen are the worst of them. They will commit any crime and tell themselves it's in the name of Islam and in the name of Allah. They'll bring chaos and destruction to your doorstep."

"Well I hate to say it, but if they do we'll rain hellfire down on them," he said resolutely.

"How?"

"What?"

I shifted slightly in my seat. "If a sharply dressed man in a suit leaves a briefcase full of explosives in Grand Central Station, how will you find him let alone rain hellfire down on him?"

Now he looked perturbed.

"Asymmetric warfare. It's not guerilla warfare, it's worse. It's something that will utterly terrify your population. And you'll be able to do nothing about it."

We sat in silence for another fifteen minutes as I finished my drink and he sat there stunned.

"But we're helping them," he said weakly.

"And they're just using you," I replied.

"It doesnt make sense...why would they hate us?"

"Are you serious?" I asked. "Israel. Iran. The al Sauds."

"But were intermediators in Israel," he protested.

It was my turn to chuckle, "Are you serious? You're seen as the reason Israel continues to exist. You aren't seen as a neutral party. You're seen as a big bully whose supported the country that caused the biggest disaster of Arab history."

He sat stunned.

As I left that night, I knew nothing would change. America would not believe me.