8 Into the Blight

Using her veil for protection and mobility, Atasimon ran with reckless speed through the city. Derzina pleaded with her to go back, demanded that they couldn't leave the others behind, but the goddess ignored her or offered only curt refusal. Reaching the outer wall, Atasimon paused for the first time in her flight.

Her shadowy legs gripped the stone, and she was soon over it. Once they were outside the city, Derzina stopped talking and concentrated all her willpower into taking control back but she was no match for the goddess. Unaffected, Atasimon didn't stop once they were over the walls. She kept running until the suns were sinking behind the horizon and the city was a distant speck. Only then did she return control.

Tears rolled down Derzina's cheeks as she was finally allowed to express the depths of her sorrow. They'd left it all behind, abandoned her people in their time of need. No, she wouldn't allow it. She had to fight with them.

Starting back toward the city, she took only a single step before her body froze up.

"Stop," Atasimon commanded, speaking from within. "There's nothing left for you there, and I won't let you throw our lives away for nothing."

"You can't know that, there must be something we can do. There must still be people alive in there, we can at least save some of them."

"And do what with them?" Atasimon demanded coldly. "Bring them out here to die? Look around you, this is no place for humans. If it weren't for my presence, you wouldn't survive a day out here."

Derzina stopped, seeing her surroundings for the first time. The bleak wasteland of blackened earth, that she'd only ever caught glimpses of from the highest points of the city, stretched as far as the eye could see around them. They were stranded in this accursed place while her friends and family were left to die. And it was all because of this cowardly goddess.

"This is all your fault," Derzina said, "we never should have summoned you."

"Don't be ridiculous. Your city would have fallen with or without my intervention, you should count yourself lucky that I was able to save your life."

"Lucky?" Derzina spat. "Am I supposed to be glad that you've made me a coward?"

"Better a coward than a corpse."

Derzina sat down in the dirt, staring at nothing in particular. "What's the difference? At least I could have died honourably. Instead I'm out here, with you. And for what? To waste away and die anyway?"

"We will not waste away, not while I still have power. We still have important work to do; get up."

"What important work?" Derzina asked, scornfully. She'd lost her entire life, there was nothing left to do.

"That Demon Lord commanded a strange power; unlike anything I've ever seen before. I must find the source of that mist that was able to negate even my divine power."

"What's the point? He's already taken the city, it's too late to stop him."

"We can't save your city, but we can still prevent this happening to humanity's other strongholds. Even if all we can do is warn them, we may still be enough to save them."

Tears welling up in her eyes again as she thought of all she'd lost, Derzina hugged her knees to her chest. "I don't care."

"Don't be like that. Don't you have a duty to protect the rest of humanity?"

"My duty was to my city, and to Lady Ortesia. But they're both gone now."

"I understand that, but we have to keep moving. Or what? Do you intend to wait here until the demons catch up with us?"

"I don't care," Derzina said.

"Well you should."

"With all due respect, fuck off."

"How dare you speak that way to a goddess."

"You're not a goddess to me, you're just a coward. Your sister, my goddess, would never have abandoned her people."

"And that's why she's dead," Atasimon shot back. "Sometimes you have to give up to fight another day. Even if you are a goddess."

"Don't fucking lecture me, I'm not some child in need of your guidance."

"Then stop acting like one and get up."

"What do you care, anyway? If you want to move so badly, then do it. It's not like I can stop you."

"Though I would prefer not to depend on you, I've exhausted almost all my power. Until I've had time to rest, you're the only way we're going anywhere."

Closing her eyes, Derzina cried in silence as she thought of all that she was leaving behind. Her mother and father, her home, everyone and everything she'd ever known. It was nearly too much for her to bear, but the thought that she might be able to stop this from happening to other people kept her from breaking.

Much as she hated to admit it, Atasimon was right; they might be able to make a difference. What else was the point of Derzina's survival? She had to make it count for something. If not for herself, then for all those she'd left behind. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she got to her feet.

"Fine, I'll go. Just tell me one thing first; are you absolutely certain you couldn't have finished that Demon Lord? He seemed all but beaten."

"You don't understand; when that thing touched me, I could feel my very essence unravelling. I'm absolutely certain I couldn't have destroyed whatever he had become, I can't fight something like that."

"Then what are we supposed to do? If they can't fight it, there's not much point in warning the other cities. Even if they know he's coming, there's nowhere for them to run."

"I know, but I might be able to devise a way of defeating him with one of the other gods. If they know what he's capable of, a god who can access the full extent of their power might be able to defeat him. Or, failing that, we may be able to discover the source of his power."

"And all I need to do is walk?" Derzina asked. "Where am I supposed to go?" Other than her distant city, there wasn't a single landmark in sight.

"It doesn't matter which way we go, for now you need to put as much distance between us and that Demon Lord as you can."

Putting the city at her back, Derzina marched toward the horizon. She set a rapid pace, the exertion helping her keep her mind off what happened. If only a little.

"I know you're hurting," Atasimon said. "Your feelings are strong enough that I can sense them. I know how much it hurts to lose what's most important to you, but it gets easier as time passes."

"That's really not much consolation."

"I know, it's just the best I can offer. If your experience is anything like mine, you'll always miss them. It only gets easier as you start to forget them."

"Do gods forget things?"

"Only if we want to."

"Then you chose to forget whoever you lost?" Derzina wondered if what she'd do, if she could choose to forget. To erase her home and everything else she'd lost from her memory. No matter how she thought about how much pain it brought her, she still wanted to hold onto her memories. They were all she had left now; without them she'd be nothing.

"We were in battle against the Demon King. I…couldn't let myself be distracted," Atasimon said, sounding ashamed.

"Then you regret it?"

"I did for a long time. But after I became one with my sister, I had ample time to think. Eventually I made peace with it. It was the best decision at the time, and there was nothing I could do to change it; there was no point regretting it."

Derzina thought it sounded like they'd been through a similar situation, though Derzina's regret was still fresh in her mind. "Couldn't you just forget that as well?"

"I could, and it would probably make my life easier. But it would mean losing one of the last memories I have of my children and my husband."

Feeling a portion of the goddess' sorrow, Derzina stopped in her tracks. One of the last things she remembered about them was choosing to forget them? "That's terrible, I'm sorry for your loss."

"As am I, for yours. And I must apologise for what I said, I spoke harshly to you when you were grieving as any decent person would."

"It's okay." It hadn't made that much of an impression on her, and the goddess had been partially right; she couldn't afford to wallow in her grief. "I should never have spoken to a goddess the way I did."

"Think nothing of it, you were well within your rights to do so after the way I acted. We're in this together."

Reassured, Derzina started walking again.

"If it's not too painful for you," Atasimon said, after a while, "would you mind telling me about your family?"

"Um, I don't mind talking about it but my family is pretty ordinary; I doubt they'd be of much interest to a goddess."

"Even still, I'd like to hear about them."

"What do you want to hear?"

"You can start with their names."

"Well, there's Jorsmina and Goeth, my mother and father. Then there's my sister, Toria."

"Is she older or younger?"

"Older."

"I see, and is she a Paladin as well?"

"No, my sister ran a greengrocer with her husband. We were never much alike growing up. I always wanted to protect my city as a Paladin and, well, I guess she was more normal than that."

"Did you two get along?"

"Sometimes. We had our ups and downs. I haven't spoken to her in a while, I wanted to before the ritual but there wasn't time." Derzina sighed, tears welling up in her eyes. "Now I'll never see her again."

"What about your parents?"

"I saw them the night before. They both acted like they were proud of me, and I'm sure they were, but underneath that they were both heartbroken."

"It can't have been easy, sending your child off to die like that. They did make the right choice at least."

"Even though you're right, I don't really want to hear that right now. Not after how things turned out."

"I would have kept up the fight, even at the cost of my own life, if I'd thought we had the slightest chance of victory. It's important to me that you understand that."

"I understand it, but…"

"But what? Don't you believe me?"

Derzina shrugged, shuffling toward the horizon. "I don't know what to believe anymore; we left everything I thought I knew behind."

"Then we'll have to learn anew together, I don't know much about this world either. It's nothing like the place we fought to protect." A bitter laugh sounded within Derzina's mind. "It seems I wasn't too successful back then either, I'm really not much of a god; I can't imagine what my followers were thinking. Not that I have any left."

Derzina felt a little bad for the goddess, yet she had no comfort to offer. There was no comfort to be found for either of them in this bleak place. Whatever they ended up doing, Derzina decided she'd rather be anywhere else and picked up the pace.

"How are you feeling?" Atasimon asked. "Much as we need to hurry, there's no point if you overexert yourself and collapse."

"I can keep going for a while yet. Though training didn't count for anything when it came to defending the city, I can at least manage a hike." Despite her exertions in the battle, or those of Atasimon using her body, she was full of energy.

"Good. Just don't be afraid to rest if you need to, we should still have plenty of distance between us and the demons."

"Do you think they'll pursue us? That Demon Lord seemed quite intent on you."

"Sooner or later, I imagine. I couldn't fathom anything of his intentions beyond the destruction of the city; he struck me as more than a little mad, even for a demon. He might strike out for another city immediately or stop to enjoy his conquest. It's best that we assume he'll be right on our heels, it's not as if we have any reason to wait around."

"You're right." Getting further away from her former home than she'd ever been with every step, Derzina jogged through the broken wilderness.