1 Chapter one

✧ ut incepit fidellis sic permanet ✧

✧ as loyal as she began, so she remains ✧

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My heart races as I pace through the living room, trying to calm myself down. My brothers and father's voices boom in the office next door, making me even more anxious. I sit down on the couch, having nothing to do but flick through the channels on the TV, biting my nails in anticipation.

I wish I could hear what they're saying.

All the sudden the door bangs open, my father storms out, anger written all over his face. I quickly stand, startled.

"Pack your things, Ruth." my father says, not bothering to explain what was discussed in his office.

My brothers, Antonio and Eric come out of the room, guilt written all over their faces. They stare at me for a very long second. "So that's it then, you're just going to hand me over to him? There's no other solutions?" I say, anger lacing my words. 

"We discussed all the other solutions, this is the only thing we could do to recover our losses" Eric, my oldest brother says to me, very coldly.

Antonio tries to console me, but it's no use. "I'm sorry, Ruth. You understand don't you?" he says, rubbing my arm. I pull away from him.

I do understand. I understand exactly why my father decided to marry me off. Because it's an easy fix to all his problems, he wants me gone. He wants his useless daughter out of his house, and out of his way. He needs to keep alliances with his associates and this is the only way to do it. I just wish it didn't have to be me, I wish I wasn't the one to have to leave my home, and leave my life.

"I understand." I say this because it's not his fault this is happening to me.

I take my time packing, not wanting to go downstairs. I pack clothes, makeup, toiletries, and any other momentos I want to take with me, into my large suitcase.

Once i'm done packing, I decide to take a nap before I have to leave, to try to calm my nerves.

I'm scared. More like terrified. I don't know what's going to happen to me. I can't help but wonder what he'll be like. Will he be like my father? Will he be everything he's rumored to be? I hope not. I let my overthinking get the best of me and let myself succumb to sleep, feeling emotionally and physically drained after the day I've had.

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I awake to loud knocking noise, letting my eyes adjust to the lamp light in my room. It's dark outside, I must have taken a long nap.

"Come in."

"Are you all packed?" Antonio says, opening my door.

"Is it already time to go?" I ask. "Yes," he says with a somber expression.

I climb out of bed, and go into the bathroom. I look in the mirror. Messy hair, and red rimmed eyes is what greets me. I fix my hair into a high pony and I splash my face with cold water. I apply some mascara and some concealer, to hide my under eye bags that never seem to go away.

Antonio hovers, not having to say what he's feeling, because I can see it all over his face. He feels bad there's nothing he could have done to fix this. Although i'm not very close with my family, Antonio is my favorite brother. I have grown fond of him over the years, I will miss him the most. Even though we are the closest of my family, I don't necessarily treasure our relationship as much as Antonio does.

Antonio takes my suitcase downstairs and I follow. My father sits in his chair, smoking a cigarette and chatting with the stranger, who will soon be my husband. He doesn't look at me, he doesn't even acknowledge I've come into the room. He holds a glass of brown liquor, with a serious expression.

"Ruth" My father blurts out. "This is Angelo Giuseppe. Angelo this is my daughter Ruth Giovanni." My father introduces us.

Angelo hesitantly stands, buttoning his suit. He looks at me expressionless. I imagine that's what I look like right now as well. 

He is quite attractive. He has sharp jawlines, brown eyes, brown hair that seems like it would be considered messy but also constructed as if it were intended to look that way. He's tall, almost a whole foot taller than me. He has a light stubble on his face. He's dressed in a black suit, a white button up shirt underneath, he's wearing a tie on top of that, and black dress pants. He oozes confidence and it intimidates me.

"I have to apologize Angelo, my daughter is too stupid to understand how to introduce herself properly." My father says with a cold laugh. I frown and hold out my hand to Angelo. He shakes it slowly. Looking at my father with an expression I can't decipher.

"We better get going, it's getting late." He says to my father, no emotion in his voice, my father nods in agreement. Angelo grabs my suitcase from Antonio. "I'll let you say your goodbyes." Angelo says to me while carrying my suitcase outside.

I turn to Antonio, tears welling in my eyes. "Hey, it's gonna be okay Ruth." He says wrapping his arms around me. I cry, not even entirely because I'm leaving, just because I don't want to get married to some emotionless killer. "I'll see you soon, okay?" I nod my head in response.

My father comes up to me and grabs my wrist tight, "No crying! You hear me?!" He says squeezing tighter, "Don't mess this up for me, and don't cause any problems with Angelo." He demands. I shake my head up and down really fast, so he will let go.

I rub my wrist. Antonio stands there looking helpless, as always.

Eric is nowhere to be found, probably couldn't be bothered with saying goodbye.

I walk out to the limousine and I take one last look at my house, taking a mental picture so I don't forget what it looks like. The big tree with the tire swing, I once climbed on, simultaneously breaking my arm. The steps my mother would wait for me on, when I got off the bus from school. The porch swing, my brothers would tell me stories on.

Angelo's driver opens the door for me and I step in, sitting across from Angelo. He glances at me.

He probably thinks i'm a mess.

I lean my head on the window feeling tired. I just want to go to sleep, and pretend none of this ever happened.

After a long car ride of uncomfortable silence, we finally arrive at his house. Angelo gets out first and holds the door open for me. I look up at the house, sighing, because this is my new reality. Angelo scans my face, looking for a reaction.

"Do you like it?" he asks, looking at me curious.

"Yes, it's beautiful" I say looking up at the house.

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Hey guys, thanks for reading my first chapter. It's very short compared to the rest of the volumes of this book, so bare with me. 🤎

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