4 Chapter 4

Watching Alex talk to the desk attendant of the motel, I see just how sly he can be. While his fake ID certainly isn't amazing, he's still able to charm the clearly stary eyed twenty-something college girl.

She seems exactly like the kind of girl Alex would be interested in, the kind of girl I always want to be. Her eyes flashing seductively with flecks of gold, and her long, soft, wavy auburn hair falling gently down her curvy body.

I wish I stood out like her. The kind of girl a guy can't help but smile at. Yet, I remain stuck as the girl in the shadow of life, watching life go by and watch from the sidelines as all my classmates move on to the life they want.

"Jules?" Suddenly Alex is in front of me holding a key card, "Hey, are you alright? You zoned out there for a second."

I nodded and strutted past him to hide my blushing, "I'm sorry, I'm just tired."

I feel the warmth of his arm around my shoulders and I flinch. Instinct tells me to pull away but he pulls me closer.

"I told the attendant that you're my girlfriend, it'll look strange not to be affectionate."

I felt ready to faint, no way this could be happening. He runs his hand down to my waist and brings his mouth close to my ear.

"Just breathe, she's watching us still," he tenderly sends the words over my skin, "I'm going to kiss you, please don't maim me for life."

His lips are so soft on my neck.

I'm dead.

I have to be. No way this is real. No way Alex Monroe is kissing me and bringing me to a motel room.

I'm dead.

His lips send goosebumps down my back. Warm, gentle, heavenly. His teeth graze me and I swear I don't feel my heart beating anymore.

Then it's cold. His warmth and arms gone. I shrivel into my jacket and try not to whine for more.

"Sorry if that was a bit much, she watched us all the way to the stairs," he fixes his jacket, and we climb to a door with a large, unpleasantly rusty number 15.

"Its ok," I sigh, "ummm, I think I'm just going to take a shower and go to bed," he chuckles at me and opens the door creating a small beep from the door as it swings open against the wind.

I can't help but rush for the bathroom to create distance between us.

"Hey can I ask you a ques-"

Slam!

I flip the sink on and let the cold rush of the tap slide across me and my body begins to shiver.

Alex kissed me!

I feel the wood of the door drag along my jacket and my hair. This is insane, why am I even here with him? None of what's happening makes any sense, and yet here I am sitting in some crumby motel bathroom, hiding from the hottest guy in town.

The door shakes behind me as Alex knocks, "Jules? You alright in there?"

I dart up and turn on the shower, "Yeah I'm great, sorry, I'll be quick!"

I turn on the shower and pretend I'm at home... I wish I was home, with my mom and my room.

I climb into the shower and just soak in the hot water and think. I can't miss work or school, my mom needs my paycheck and I need to get good grades. She must be worried sick, I'm probably the worst daughter ever.

Stepping out of the shower, my wet skin feels like ice. The water went cold over ten minutes ago, and I have no idea how long I was in there. Alex is probably asleep already. I hope he is, I don't know what to say to him.

Quickly slipping back into my t-shirt and underwear, I try to silently sneak over to my bag for my pajamas. I don't get three steps out without having a heart attack.

"You don't get out much, do you?" Alex is sitting on the bed starring at the TV with the remote in his hand.

"What the--" I turn to face him with a hand on my heart, I swear I feel it stop for a minute.

"Nice legs," he smirks at me.

I grab my jacket and cover myself, "Jerk! Maybe close your eyes?"

He looks at me like he wants to laugh, "Why? It's not like you've got anything to be embarrassed about."

"Yeah in your opinion," I chuck a shoe at him and he ducks, "You aren't the one half naked here."

He smiles at me, lets out an exaggerated sigh and covers his eyes, "You have two minutes."

I dig through my bag and grab an old shirt and sweat pants. Pulling the pants on and taking off my shirt Alex starts teasing me.

"I didn't know there were still girls like you, all shy and red in the face."

"I'm not red in the face," I pull the shirt over my head and stomp over to him, "And so what if I don't want some random dude seeing me without pants?"

I grab the pillow from under his head and go lay by the window.

"You're not sleeping on the floor," he recovers from the loss of his support by propping himself up on his elbow, "Come on, if it bugs you that much, you can have the bed, I'll take the floor."

I hesitantly stand up with the pillow and throw it at him, he switches places with me and hands me the TV remote.

"None of that chick-flick crap, alright?"

"Aren't you just a ray of sunshine."

He smiles, "yeah well, normally in a situation like this, the girl wouldn't want me on the floor."

I flip through channels, hoping he'll just leave me alone and sleep, finally settling on a bunch of old cartoons I laid back with my book and just tried to take my mind off everything.

"You never answered my question," I hear Alex say from across the room.

I never take my eyes off my book, even though i'm only reading the same sentence over and over again, "What question?"

"You don't do much, do you?"

"No," I glance at him for a split second, "I go to school, go to work, go home, do school work, and read. That's it."

"So I guess that answers my other question," I look at him cautiously, "You haven't been with a guy have you, haven't even been kissed?"

I put my book down, "No, I haven't and so what if I haven't."

"You're the only girl in our school, that's all."

"I don't really have the time for that stuff," I throw my legs over the side of the bed, "Plus, no one's ever been interested in me like that."

"Do you actually believe that?"

I shrug, "So what if I do? No guy ever talks to me, no one at all talks to me," I start turning red, feeling my throat get tight I pick at my finger nails.

I look up and see him squatting in front of me, "You really have no clue do you?" he chuckles, "I can name five different guys in our english class alone who find you so many kinds of attractive it isn't even funny."

"Yeah right, and I'll bet they're football players and homecoming kings," I mutter sarcastically.

He stands and lays back on his spot on the floor, "You don't give yourself enough credit. They would talk to you if you would take a break from everything, no one ever sees you stop doing any sort of work and they don't think they can approach you."

"I don't have the luxury to take a break," I get under the motel blankets and try not to think of the gross, awful things that must be on them and roll my back to him.

I'm starting to close my eyes and fall into a hopefully restful night of sleep when I hear, "Yeah but you deserve to."

I smile.

It's silent.

I sleep.