39 Chapter 39

"Thank you so much!" My voice carries over the somewhat crowded sidewalk as I call to the couple who just paid me. They barely hear me as they admire their drawing.

Alex steps up with drink in hand to give to me, "People here seem... Less chatty."

I widen my eyes and shrug in agreement. Alex seems better, the past week we've been here his mood has definitely been flip flopping but it's been better than when we first got here.

We spent that second day in our room. I mostly watched tv while Alex slept. Even though he was still tired after taking a day to rest, he insisted on letting me draw. It's been a little over a week since we got here, but even with the fluctuating moods, Alex seems to be ok.

"How much longer do you want to stay?" He asks as I look at the water to see the setting sun.

"I think it's fair to call it a night. Do you want to go eat?"

He shrugs, "Sure, back to the ferry landing?" We had quickly learned that the little place with all the shops and small beach was called the ferry landing and people took boats across the water instead of driving over the bridge or taking a bus.

I nod as we pack up my stuff. As I'm putting it all away I see all the drawings of Alex in my bag, the drawings him still asleep and the drawings of him and the devil and him being controlled. Part of me hates them, especially knowing how much it would hurt him to see some of them. I can't get rid of them though, no matter how hard I try to convince myself to throw them away, I always end up keeping them.

"You seemed to do pretty good today," Alex comments as we walk from the beach to the bus stop.

I only shrug. People tip less here, so Alex convinced me to charge more, I charge $15 for single or two people portraits, $20 for three or more. No one seems to be surprised so the price so I just go with it.

"I just wish I had more hours of sunlight to work. I want to send my mom as much as I can."

His smile is gentle and comforting, "Just wait, one day you're art will be so big you won't know what to do with all the money you'll make."

I don't say anything. My head aches and my stomach feels like stone. Something feels wrong. I'm not sure if it's just Alex's mood swings or my own exhaustion but it's something I'm hoping will just go away.

I don't say anything as we get on the bus. Nor do I say anything on the way to the ferry landing or when we eat. I feel... Watched.

Something isn't right.

Looking over to Alex, I see him standing by the trash can pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Are you ok?" I ask as I step closer and put my hand on his arm.

He doesn't look at me, all he does is wave me off and stand there. Not wanting to push, I step away and walk to the little beach by the pier.

Alex got me some cheap, white flip flops the other day. I feel very exposed in my high waisted shorts and my short sleeved shirt, and of course without my traditional boots. I slip out of the flip flops and let the sand run between my toes. It feels odd but comforting, the sand is still warm as the last bit of visible sun slips below the horizon.

Over the past week, I've developed a bit of a tan. I never realized how pale I was until I saw the difference between my tan skin and normal skin. The past week or so, I've felt like someone different. Alex and I both seem different. The only question is, is it a good different?

I jump at the feeling of hands on my shoulders. Alex doesn't even flinch at my reaction.

"We should go." His voice is dull and lifeless again.

Knowing better than to argue, I nod and follow as he walks away. We just barely miss the bus so we take a seat to wait for the next one.

"Call your mom recently?" His voice is a surprise, he hasn't been the most conversational lately.

"Maybe I will tonight. I know she's been busy, I don't want to bug her too much."

"I'm sure she's always happy to hear from you. I don't think you could bug her even if you tried. She loves you."

"I know that. Have you thought about calling your parents?"

He doesn't look at me as he shakes his head, "Nah, they won't pick up. Why bother when you know the outcome?"

"Because you could be wrong."

His head shoots up, and he stares at me with sharp eyes, a furrowed brow, and pursed lips. I stand by my answer, even if he doesn't like it.

Our stare down doesn't last like as he shakes his head and looks off at nothing. He knows I'm right, and he knows if we argue it won't accomplish anything.

There's nothing but silence as we wait. It's quiet between us from when we get on the bus to when we get off.

As I take the key card from him and put it in the door, Alex breaks the silence, "You looked really, really nice today."

I watch him a moment, waiting for him to laugh. He doesn't.

"Thank you Alex," I can't help but smile.

He nods as we go inside. It's quiet again. We make our way inside and separate. I disappear into the bathroom with new pjs so I can shower and sleep. Alex doesn't seem to even bother with that as he yanks his shirt off and lays on his bed.

By the time my shower is done, and I'm red as a tomato, I can hear Alex lightly snoring. In the couple months he and I have been on the road together I've learned that snoring only happens when he is exhausted.

Trying to stay quiet, I make my way out of the bathroom and to my bed. My legs welcome the soft mattress and warm blankets. Drifting off to sleep is no problem for me as I sink into the pillows.

I feel someone shaking me. Thinking I'm still asleep and dreaming, I roll over with a groan.

"Wake the hell up!" Alex's voice is a low growl.

I shoot up in bed, thinking something is wrong. All I see is Alex shirtless, staring at me wide eyed in the dark.

"What's-"

"We have to go!"

He starts trying to pull me from the bed, making my shoulder hurt as I climb out of the bed.

"God, what are you doing? Are you crazy?" Not only am I tired, I'm freaked out and pissed. I look at the clock and see it's two in the morning.

"We have to leave, like now!" He starts grabbing his stuff to shove in his bag.

"What? No!"

He stops and stares at me, "Jules there's no time to argue here!"

He grabs my duffle bag and my wrist and pulls me to the bed. Quickly and recklessly he starts shoving my stuff inside.

"God, are you psychotic? It's the middle of the night!"

"I don't care Jules!"

"Why? Why are so bent out of shape?" I'm starting to raise my voice, I can feel the frustration bubbling inside me.

"We need to leave! We can't-" He pinches the bridge of his nose, "Goddamn it! Just listen to me for once!"

I yank my arm away, officially pissed, "All I do is listen! All you do is boss me around, and now you wake me up in the middle of the night with no explanation? No I'm so sick of you bullying me and then trying to make it up with those big green eyes and charming ass smile! I'm going back to bed!"

He grabs my waist and pulls me back, "We have to leave!"

"Even if I wanted to, I doubt any buses are running Alex. You have to wait till morning!"

"I don't care if I have to drag your scrawny ass out the door and into an Uber for four hours, we're leaving tonight!"

I shove him as hard as I can, which isn't really that hard but it gets him off me. "Why? Why do we have to leave right now?"

"I can feel myself slipping, I can- I can hear him telling me to do things and I can't fight him much longer. I need to keep you safe! So just fucking listen to me!"

"Hey!" I'm seething at this point, "You're the one who insisted on staying here, so don't come biting my head off for your dumb choice! And I never asked you to 'protect' me! I've been taking care of myself the past 12 years, and I certainly don't need your help!"

"Shut up! You have no idea what you're talking about! You have no idea what he'll do to you! Shut up! Shut up!"

I can't help it. I get all up in his face as we yell at each other. I watch him as he squeezes his eyes shut and looks away as he bites his lip and grips his hair in his fists.

"I don't need you to protect me! I'm very capable of handling myself, I was doing just fine before you dragged me away from everything to supposedly keep me safe!"

"I do want to keep you safe! You don't get it! You don't know what you're talking about!" He grips his hair harder, and I see blood where he's biting his lip. "God fucking damn it!..."

"Why Alex? Why are you so determined to protect me? Why do you care so much?" I don't hide my sarcasm as my anger reaches a peak.

He's fast. Faster than I've ever seen him move before. In an instant he's got an arm around my waist, pulling me against him as his other hand rests against my cheek.

"Because I think I could be in love with you damn it!"

His lips are on mine. They're warm and soft and wet and they taste like blood. His tongue grazes my lip as he takes a gentle bite at me. I hear him growl as he pulls me closer, I can feel his entire body heat up.

Oh my god.

I shove back as hard as I can. My brain has stopped working. Before I realize it, I'm running down the motel stairs in my pjs and flip flops with my backpack carelessly swung over my shoulder.

I can hear Alex calling to me as I run through the parking lot and down the street. I can't breathe. I feel tears on my cheek. Running as fast as I can, I don't pay attention to where I'm going.

"Just keep running!" I tell myself. I don't even really know why. Shock? Confusion? Fear?

I still taste his blood on my mouth, the phantom sensation of his lips on mine makes me tingle. Where am I? How long have I been running? I stop to breathe. I don't hear Alex behind me.

A sobbing mess, I pull out my phone to call me mom. Looking at the screen my heart drops.

Out of minutes.

I start bawling as I look around. Unsure what to do, I grip the phone and make my way down the street again! I'm shaking, I can't stop,

Alex kissed me. He actually kissed me! He said he might love me! It's not possible. This is all a dream! None of this happened. In a minute I'll wake up and Alex will still be asleep. It's all a dr-

I hear footsteps. I can't help but freeze, hoping if I don't make noise, whoever is nearby will leave. Is it Alex? Is he still chasing after me?

It's silent again. God I am so tired of silence. I hate it so much.

"Jules Woodrow?"

I don't turn to see the source of the voice which knows my name before a sharp pain meets my cheek and I fall to the ground. I feel my head meet the concrete and that's it.

It's all black.