37 Chapter 37

Waking Alex up as we pull into the bus station is a little nerve wracking. I had to listen to him for what felt like forever.

"Don't make me hurt her. Get out! I don't want to! I won't. Please don't."

Almost nine hours of listening to him beg. Every fiber of my being hopes he was just having a bad dream and was arguing with himself. He told me before we left that when we fight, if he gets angry enough he wants to hurt me and he told me he hates that feeling.

Maybe talking about it opened that up in his mind and he's having to deal with it instead of burying it?

I stare at him, scared of what I could see, as his eyes flutter open and his arms stretch over his head.

"Hey," He groans, eyes still half shut as he gives me his cocky grin. "You alright?"

I nod, feeling the smallest amount of relief in me. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good, weird dreams but I feel better now." He looks at me for a second, head tilted to the side as he looks me up and down. He takes my hand and squeezes. "Thank you, you easily could have disregarded me and ignored me after today, thank you for being so open."

I nod again. I want to be open. I want to not be worried right now, but my brain is just playing like a broken record.

"Don't make me hurt her! I don't want to hurt her! Please... Leave her out of this! I don't want to hurt her!"

Alex gets out of his seat and waits for me. I feel stupid when I look up and see him staring and waiting. I need to come back down to earth. Everyone has bad dreams, it happens.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asks as we climb out of the bus.

"Yeah, just a little overwhelmed I guess."

I'm not necessarily lying, especially stepping off the bus and being met with huge crowds of people and a bright, warm sun beating down on us. Looking around I see what looks like a train station, people are standing around waiting or moving to any of the neighboring buildings or streets.

"Whe- Where are we?" I ask.

"San Diego." Alex looks around with me.

"California?!" I feel my jaw dropping to the floor.

He nods, "I always wanted to come, thought maybe it'd be nice drawing on the beach. Maybe we could have some fun here."

He still looks tired, but he's calm. His smile is genuine and his eyes search over our new surrounding.

Looking around, I decide California isn't quite what I expected. Yes there's lots of people, but they aren't as fancy looking or laid back as I'd expected. I expected to see the beach right when we arrived, to see surfers and celebrities. I see lots of different types of people, some dressed like hipsters some dressed like glamour queens, some wearing work uniforms.

"Come on," Alex takes my hand and pulls me over to a small sign just outside the station.

A line of people are waiting. Looking up I see the sign is a bus stop sign.

"Another bus?" I groan as Alex smiles down on me.

"This is different. Trust me, you'll like this one."

I bite the inside of my cheek. I want to trust him, especially after the talk, well argument, we had in Vegas, but hearing him on the bus makes trust a little difficult.

Some of my discomfort eases when a red and white bus pulls up in front of us. Seeing it reminds me of home, waiting outside work ready to go back to my home with my mom and my bed.

It gets crowded quickly. Alex stands holding the bar above our head and lets me take one of the available seats. I watch as people start loading on and barely glancing at each other as they rush to take seats. A mother with a small child is last to come on the bus and I'm about ready to offer my seat when I see another girl stand and offer hers.

I watch her and smile, she's blissfully unaware of how kind she was and it makes me feel so warm inside. Her dark eyes stay focused on her phone as the mother sits with her child. It's nice seeing people care about strangers.

"Where are we going?" I poke Alex in the stomach, which surprisingly makes him twitch and chuckle. Is he ticklish?

"You'll see, now stop poking me," He pushes my hand away.

I don't tell him that I think it's cute that he's ticklish. I don't need to look creepy, so I just keep it to myself. I don't hear him laugh much, but I enjoy it when it happens. His laugh is fast and breathy, it sounds like pure joy. It sounds to me the way a person laughs too hard and can't stop, the kind of laugh that makes you cry and need to sit to catch your breath.

He chuckles again and I realize I'm staring. His laugh is one thing, but that chuckle... It does something else, it's low and smooth, and when he mixes it with that crooked grin I just melt.

I need to think of something else. I look behind me out the window and see we're on a bridge, the water below us sparkles and shines a beautiful blue. I see lots of boats when I look across out the other windows. I see a beach near a park, I see farther down what looks like a pier.

I've never seen the ocean. I find myself bouncing in my seat at the thought of getting to be this close.

I'm bouncing all the way to the bus stopping. Alex and I climb out in front of a restaurant, someplace called Clayton's. It looks busy. Looking around I see a Panera across the street, a Starbucks next door, and a bunch of small shops.

"Come on," Alex takes my hand and we walk away from the restaurant. He takes me past a gas station and through a little park before we come out at a line of large, beautiful houses.

Alex keeps pulling me along, I see a stone wall but I can't see over it. His smile is huge as we walk, eventually crossing the street.

"Close your eyes." He orders taking both my hands in his.

Hesitantly, I listen. I squeeze his hands and take very tedious steps as he pulls me along. I almost fall when he has me step off the curb, he learns from this and warns me to step up back onto the sidewalk. I hear people, I start chuckling as my anxiety spikes.

"Ok, open them." Alex sounds pleased with himself. That can't be good.

I'm at the top of a set of concrete stairs, glancing up I feel my jaw drop and a gasp escape my lips. I have to cover my mouth to hide the happy lip quiver that's started. In front of me sits the ocean, it's more beautiful that I had imagined.

I feel my eyes water. I'm in awe. I see people running around, playing volleyball, having family outings and it all just feels so surreal.

Alex is hiding his smile as I rush down the stairs and to the sand. I want to take my boots off but I don't know if I should. I want to stand in the water, I want to see the sunset sparkle on the water, I want my mom to be here to enjoy this with me.

"Hey." Alex nudges me with his shoulder. "Is your art stuff in your backpack?"

I don't respond at first, still stunned at what lies in front of me. I look over at him and all I can do is nod.

"I'm going to go find us a place to stay, you stay here and draw. Ok?"

He's leaving me here alone? I stare at him in confusion. His only response is to shrug his shoulders.

"I know you're probably getting sick of me, and after what all went down in Vegas, I figured you could use an escape. Just promise you won't take off?"

I nod and look back at the water. He hands me my backpack and we pick a spot for me. I'm about to sit in the sand when he takes my arm.

"Wait," He lets go and starts to take off his jacket, "Here, use this, so you don't get sand on you."

He lays it out on the ground and I can see him blushing. As I sit and get settled I watch him dig in his pockets.

"Take this, alright?" He hands me a little, long piece of metal, "Just in case."

"What is it?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Just a pocket knife." He shrugs as I take it. "I'd feel awful if something happened because I left you alone and unprotected. So please just, hold onto it?"

I stare at it until I figure out how to open and close it. Giving a nervous smile I nod and put it in my pocket. He stands there a while before shaking his head and starting to walk off. I watch him turn back a couple times before finally making it back to the sidewalk.

I look back to the water and watch all the people running around and laughing. This is one of the moments I wish I had my watercolor paints, I could only imagine what I could do if I had all my supplies and a whole day out here.

Something tells me to just let go. I let my shoulders relax as I pull my hair down out of the ponytail I put it in. Taking a deep breath, I smell the salty air and close my eyes, just listening to the waves.

Looking around, I see a group of girls. They look happy, like they're in a bubble of happiness with just each other. I have to draw them. I pull out my pencil to start the sketch, it helps they're sitting and not moving around.

I take time to outline them and work on their individual features. I start with the girl in the middle, she's clearly engaged but still shying into herself as her friends make her laugh. Her face is oval shaped, and her features are soft, like her small eyes that are hidden behind her black frame glasses. She's holding her legs to her chest to cover herself. She's certainly curvier and shorter than her friends, and with longer dark hair, but the three of them look like they just fit.

The girl on her right is leading the conversation, her face is round and delicate, her eyes sparkling with pure enjoyment. She's got a little more of a tan than the other girl but not by much, she's clearly comfortable in her body, making her glow. Her hair falls in dark brown waves at her shoulders, covering the straps of her bikini top. She's got a shining smile and a gentle nose that makes her look daintier than she acts. She tilts her head and sticks her tongue out the side of her mouth, making her friends smile. I decide that's how I'll draw her. Happy and not afraid to show it.

The final girl is calmer as she talks, but uses her hands far more. Her dark skin stands out against her friends but in the beat way. You can see a small nose piercing, and her head is shaved, someone it all comes together to make her look strong and powerful. To me she looks like a goddess as she smiles at her friends. Her full lips move quickly and form a grand smile on her flawless skin as they all laugh. Her pastel pink swimsuit stands out and draws attention to her height. She's beautiful and clearly comfortable around her friends, she looks at home with them.

As I finish the details of the drawing, I see them gather their stuff to leave. Laughing together as they brush off the sand and walk away. I smile at my drawing, the bond between them is clear. I want them to see how incredible they look together. I wish I had Jen to share this way. I'm quick to rise to my feet, chasing them.

I show them the drawing and watch them light up and hug each other. They thank me but all I see is how happy they are to have each other.

I made someone happy. Today ended up being a pretty good day.