33 Chapter 33

We've been in Vegas a little over a week. I haven't left the motel room, I don't want to. I don't want to think about what kind of people are out there. How many of those people are like my dad and abandoned their families? How many are here because they're lost and are trying to rebuild? How many are here celebrating? How many are like me and just want to go home?

I lose my train of thought as Alex comes in the door. He gives me a disappointed glare.

"You're going to get bedsores, you've barely moved this week. Come on," He tosses his jacket at my feet.

"We have new people next door," I chuckle, trying to ignore his bedsores comment, "I think it's newlyweds, the bed hitting the wall was starting to give me a headache."

"Jules, we leave day after tomorrow, if you don't get out of that bed I will pick you up and drag you," He rolls his eyes, "Let's go out to dinner or something, just tonight, something to get you out for a little bit. I'm afraid you might spontaneously combust."

"You think you're so clever, don't you?"

"And you think you're fine when you're really a miserable, moody pain in the ass right now."

I'm taken aback, silenced by his bluntness. He looks a little down but not sorry.

"Well you hit the nail on the head, hundreds of miles away from my mom and my life, in a city that was built on the thing that destroyed my family, and I have no idea if the father I never knew is out there somewhere, or if he's thought at all about me."

"I don't know what to do. I could apologize all day every day until we die, I could let you beat me with a baseball bat, I could put you on a bus back home and possibly get you killed, nothing will make this better. Please, let's just go get dinner, I don't want you cooped up in here. Just tonight, please, maybe it'll help."

"Just tonight?" I stare at my nails to hide my unintentional pout, "And you promise we'll leave soon?"

"Yeah, I promise. I'm sorry we stopped here, next place should be better," He says before disappearing in the bathroom.

My bag is at the foot of the bed, where I dropped it when we first got here. I will admit I should shower, I did a few nights ago but I stink. I should ask Alex if we can find a laundry mat before we leave.

When he steps out of the bathroom again I crawl off the bed and pull out some clothes, "Give me twenty minutes."

Brushing past him, I smell that clean, gentle rain smell I've come to adore. I miss that smell on me, like when he gave me his jacket at the bus stop back in Missouri. I have to remind myself it was probably a one off, it won't happen again. He wants to protect me, but he doesn't think of me beyond just protecting me. Who knows if I'll ever see him again after all this is done anyway.

The hot water of the shower makes my joints ache, and the silence gives me too much time to think about everything I've been burying in my head.

What would mom say if she knew I was here? Would my father even want to see me? Does he even remember he had a kid?

Once I've turned myself into a distraught tomato, I climb out of the shower and get dressed. I don't bother with most of my makeup, just enough to cover any acne I have currently.

Alex is sitting on the bed when I come out, just staring at the wall. He gives a hesitant smile when he sees me.

"You look nice," He says as he stands and heads to the door.

I scoff, "I look like roadkill with makeup."

"Hey," He stops me from walking out the door, "Stop that, you look amazing. No matter what you think, you look incredible. Always do."

I won't lie, that made me a little uncomfortable and it stunned me but I can't fight the warm blush spreading over my face. Staring at the ground, I gently push past him. It's warm, not hot, but definitely warmer than I'm used to for late December.

I still hate that mom spent Christmas alone. I called her that morning, and Christmas Eve and while it was nice at least getting to talk to her, it wasn't the same. It hurt being so far away from her on an important day. She loved her gift, I could hear her crying with happiness. All I wanted was to hold her. New Years was yesterday, and it for whatever reason made me miss her more.

Alex links his arm with mine as we start walking. There are shops and restaurants everywhere we go, it's just a matter of what sounds good. There's a small diner nearby that I saw when we got here. As we walk past it again I tug on his arm much like I would tug my mom's arm as a kid.

He lets out a heavy sigh as he looks at the dinner, "A milkshake does sound really good."

Being a gentleman, he opens the door for me with a smile glued to his face. It's pretty full, but we managed to get a table by the door. Burgers and other fried foods cover the menu along with a 24 hour breakfast menu, we scan the options in silence as we wait for Alex's coveted chocolate milkshake.

"Ooh they have fried chicken," Alex stares with wide eyes at the menu.

Glancing at a nearby table I chuckle, they got the fried chicken and it is huge, "It's bigger than my head, Alex."

"I could totally handle it, I could eat it in under twenty minutes I guarantee."

"Yeah, ok, you do that and I'll do whatever you say for the next three days, no question," I roll my eyes and look back at the menu, even after not eating all day I don't think I'd be able to finish all that chicken.

"You're so on," His excitement is evident as his eyes twinkle and crooked smile grows.

I ignore him, he's being cocky and while I find it very hot it's not going to get a reaction out of me because I don't think he can eat that whole thing.

He is all but bouncing around as he orders the chicken, I can't hide my smile as I order my cheese burger.

Waiting for the food, Alex makes small talk. I try to engage as best as I can, but I get distracted by all the different people and Alex's little quirks that I never noticed before. He wiggles his straw in his shake as he talks. He has a dimple in his left cheek that becomes more obvious as he gets more excited.

I won't lie and say I didn't think his chicken looks absolutely divine when it gets here, but I can't even describe how happy I was when my burger was put in front of me. There is nothing better than a huge juicy burger covered in cheese and tomato.

"Twenty minutes, all of nothing," Alex is bouncing his leg as he talks, clearly excited but I'm not sure why this has him so jazzed.

He flags down our waitress, she's probably a little older than us and she's easily overtaken by Alex's charm and looks.

"You got a stopwatch or timer," He nods his head in my direction, "My friend here doesn't think I can kill this plate in under twenty minutes and well... I can't resist a challenge."

I watch the blush spread over her face as she pulls out her phone, pulling up a stopwatch, "Guy like you... Could do quite a lot in twenty minutes I'm sure," She winks before walking away with swaying hips.

I watch him shake his head as he digs into the food. I'm a little bothered by how easily he does that, convinces a random girl to just do what he says.

He eats faster than he probably should, but he's not being messy about it. I guess that's something to be thankful for right now. I'm halfway through my burger when I feel a knot form in my stomach. I'm not sure why but it's there and it isn't easy to ignore. Alex looks up from his food, clearly aware something is bugging me.

"You alright?"

I run my hand over my stomach, "No, I don't feel great all of a sudden. Like my stomach is doing cartwheels."

He pushes his milkshake to me, "Maybe too much salty stuff? Have some of that, we can always get the rest of this stuff to go if you want to head back to the room."

"Hey baby," Our waitress rests her hands on the table, almost blocking Alex from me as she wiggles her phone, "You got five more minutes. And I like a man who likes to win."

He gives her a wink, which lets her think the flirting is mutual and she leaves.

"Don't you worry about how they feel after you lead them on?" I ask taking a small sip of the cold chocolate.

He lets out a snorting laugh, "Watch how she talks to the other guys in here. Half of her job is charm, and I'm not the only one she's using it on, she'll be fine. I don't mess with any girl who can't handle it, I pick the girls who want the thrill or who won't be genuinely disappointed when nothing happens."

"Which is she?" I push the drink away, it's too sweet.

He takes a second and watches the waitress, taking a deep breath, "Yeah she's into me, but she's also into three other guys here. She'll barely notice me leave."

"Then maybe we should soon, I really don't feel well," I grip my stomach, the pain is deep and getting worse. It's like the pain you feel when you poke a bruise.

Alex flags down the waitress for the check as he finishes his food, still determined to prove me wrong.

Of course he does and he has a huge grin on his face as I pack up my food. He's dropping some cash on the checkbook and walking with me to the door when I group of six or so men come in, hollering and laughing.

"Good night Mr. Capshaw?" Our waitress stands at the hostess stand and pulls out menus for the men.

"Of course, of course," One of the men bows to her, "Do I ever lose Marina?"

He must be a regular. I just roll my eyes and push past his friends as they walk to their table. I've lost sight of Alex when I feel a hand on my arm.

"Melody?" The big winning regular is staring down at me in surprise. He's taller than me, and his black hair is going grey, with the confused brown eyes he looks at me expectedly.

"No, you have the wrong person. The only person I know named Melody is my mom."

I try to pull away from his grip but it tightens, "What's your name kid?"

"Is that any of your business?"

He's taken aback, but I watch a smile creep on his face, "Ju- Julianna?"

"How..." I look back to see Alex walking back in the door, looking for me, "How do you know my name?"

"Julianna, I..." He chuckles.

Alex wraps his arm around my shoulder, "Look pal why don't you take your hand off her and call it a night. I'm sure you have money to lose on the slots."

Alex pulls me away and we're walking out the door when the man's booming voice makes me stop dead in my tracks.

"I'm your father, Julianna."