27 Chapter 27

My arms ache. I woke Alex up at seven in the morning with my stuff ready, I wanted to get out and start drawing so I could make as much as possible. While it was slow the first couple hours, business was certainly picking up by ten o'clock and didn't stop until the sun set at around five. Alex could tell how tired I was and offered to carry my stuff. I did ten portraits, most of them tipped, and almost all of them were back to back. Alex and I went and looked at some shops after I finished drawing but honestly I've been so tired all day.

Collapsing on the bed, I groan as the mattress hugs me.

I made $116 today, paying him back $27 and leaving myself $19 to pay to ship my gift to my mother, I'm left with another $70 I can send to her.

I look over to the bags I got the other night, I'm really hoping she can enjoy Christmas with a gift even though I won't be there.

"Are you hungry?" Alex puts my backpack down and stands by the door.

I shrug, "Kind of, I mostly just want to call my mom."

His eyes flicker with the realization of what I'm about to tell my mom. He nods and pulls his jacket back on.

"I'll go get us something to eat," he hands me my backpack and heads out the door.

As the door shuts I start to dial my mom's number. I'm so afraid to hurt her.

I listen to that god awful ringing tone, praying she picks up. I don't want her to hear this over a message.

"Hello? Jules, is that you?" Her voice rings clear over the line.

"Yeah mom, it's me."

"Are you ok baby? I hadn't heard from you in the past few days and I was starting to worry again."

"I'm ok for the most part, I sent you some money, hopefully you'll get it in a few days."

"Oh honey," my mom's voice aches, "You didn't have to do that."

"I know I didn't, I wanted to. I want to make sure you're taken care of while I'm gone."

"Thank you honey, I'll keep my eyes out for it. Jen stopped by, she brought you more homework and left a booklet where she wrote the answers. She's starting to worry about you."

"I know, I'm trying to get home as fast as I can, it's just... Not easy."

"Honey are you sure you're ok? Did something happen? If you need me to I can come get you wherever you are."

"No mom, really it's ok. I need you to just trust me," I hear her sigh, and I know I still need to tell her I won't be home for Christmas, "Look mom, there's another reason I called. I'm really sorry, but I won't be home by Christmas."

I try not to cry as the silence spreads. I hear the bustle of movement on the other end of the line. It sounds like my mom was in the middle of a class.

"Are you safe? Are you promising to come home as soon as you can and that you'll be safe while gone?"

"Of course! I want to be home and I'm trying to get home as soon as possible, and I'm trying to be safe."

"Then you don't worry about Christmas. I'll miss you but I can get through it, just call me that morning, ok?"

"I can do that. Are you getting a tree and doing cookies? If you can I still want you to."

"I should be able to, I'm going to try," I smile at her words, even though both of us sound ready to cry.

"I'm sending you a present. No arguments. And when you get it you can't open it until Christmas morning, ok mom?"

I hear her laugh under her breath, "Ok, and your present will be here waiting for you to get home. I love you, Jules."

"I love you too mom."

"I have to get back to class, but I want you to call me as soon as you can."

"I will, I promise. I'll call you when I send your present and I'll call you before I leave again. I can't wait to talk again."

"Neither can I, sweetie. Be safe."

"I will, get back to class. We'll talk later." We hang up and while I still want to cry, I smile.

I put the phone away and grab the bags on the floor. Slowly taking out every item.

I open the box and the tissue paper to set up her gift to mail it. I take the soft folded blanket, taking a minute to just enjoy the soft fake fur in the long stripes, I hope my mom will like the dusty rose color. I fold it and put it on one side of the box, filling the other side with white tissue paper with golden dots. I carefully fold the red and black flannel pajamas, thinking of how nice it'll be for my mom to finally have some comfortable, warm clothes for bed. I place the slippers on top of the pajamas, making sure the little leather bow on the top is nice and the fuzzy insides are still soft. I place the bottle of bubble bath next to the pajamas and slippers with the necklace in a little velvet box right under the bubble bath.

Once I'm satisfied with where everything is and how it looks, I take the card I picked and some of my colored drawing pens. I take my time and draw a fully decorated Christmas tree next to a lit fireplace, I carefully write above the drawing "Best Christmas wishes and lots of love! I'll be home soon, I love you.".

I put the leftover money in the card and seal it in the envelope, putting the bow over the closing to make it look nice. I put the card on top of the blanket and close the box. As I go to set it on the little table by the door I hear the lock come undone.

I put the box down and go to help Alex as he comes in with bags of food.

"What did you get?" I ask taking the drinks from his hands.

"I went for the basic choice of hamburgers. I got you your normal, how'd it go with your mom?"

"It went ok, she put on a strong facade and I know it hurt but I think she'll be ok. She just wants me home."

He looks over at the box, "I can try to rush that to the post office, getting it going before they close?"

I shake my head, "We can do it tomorrow before we leave, I want to make sure they take care of it."

"Ok, well we'll make sure of it. We'll make sure it's marked as 'fragile' and everything," he grins and gently taps the top of the box.

I force a smile as I pull out my food. I just sort of want to leave New Mexico, I for whatever reason don't like it. I want to be home with my mom and the cold and my friend.

I grab my sketchbook and pencils before sitting down with my food. I shove a handful of fries in my mouth and start drawing. I see Alex peek in the box out of the corner of my eye, but I busy myself with the drawing in front of me.

My food is gone and trash disposed of by the time I'm done. I look at the drawing and smile.

"The formula for a merry Christmas! Someday you and I will see New Mexico together."

I fold the drawing of Walter White and his beakers, carefully writing Jen's name on it and putting it on top of the box. I don't just miss my mom, it's hard knowing I won't see Jen this Christmas.

I watch Alex prepare to leave in the morning. His bag is mostly ready, he has clothes pulled out for tomorrow and is getting ready to take one more shower.

"I smell like a dead fish," he grumbles as he walks past the bed.

"A little, you might want to fix that, I don't want to sit on a bus for who knows how long next to a dead fish."

He gives me an annoyed look as he pulls his shoes off, "Claws back in kitty."

My eyes go wide as I stare at him, I scoff and shake my head as he marches into the bathroom.

"Tool," I grab my bag and started preparing to leave tomorrow. I put all my books inside my backpack with my art supplies. Deciding I don't want to carry it, I carefully place the folded easel in my duffle bag with my clothes. By the time I've gathered all of my stuff, Alex is dressed and out of the shower.

"I'm taking the whole bed if you don't hurry up," he's wearing his cocky grin.

"Maybe I want to shower too genius, I don't smell like roses either!"

"No you smell like raspberries," he starts chuckling.

"I smell like sweat and charcoal," I make my way to the bathroom.

"Whatever, just hurry up. I want to be leaving New Mexico before noon, ok?"

I wave my hand dismissively as I walk into the bathroom and shut the door.

I let the bathroom get warm and full of steam before I actually get in the shower, I'm always cold, the water feels like it's melting away an ice box I've been trapped in. I wash myself and stand under the hot water until I'm red.

I feel the water getting cold, probably my cue to get out, but I still have soap in my hair. So I turn up the temperature and try to focus on finishing up.

I step out the bathroom and wipe off the mirror. I look like hell, I don't tan, I just burn, so my skin already looked a little pink. I have bags under my eyes and my hair makes me look like a psycho killer. I try to brush out the knots, making my hair a wet and stringy mop. I cringe at myself in the mirror before stepping into my pajamas and into the room.

"Feel better?" Alex has his eyes closed but doesn't sound at all tired.

"I no longer smell like death, so yes, all it cost was I now look like a tomato."

He laughs and sits up, "Come here," he pats the spot in front of him.

"Why?"

"Just trust me, it's not like I'm going to strangle you."

"Yeah because saying that will make me trust you more," I take a hesitant step to the bed, "This is weird."

"I know but I think you'll like it."

"That only makes me more nervous."

He holds out his hand, looking impatient.

With an unhappy sigh, I take his hand and climb onto the bed.

"Face the door," he jokingly demands.

I purse my lips and do as he says. Nothing happens and I start feeling like an idiot when I out of nowhere feel his warm hands on my tender neck. I feel his thumbs dig into the muscles on either side of my spine and while it hurts, it hurts good.

"Oh god..." I groan through the pain. He presses harder causing pain and flooding relief with every touch.

"You need to relax, I saw you stretching your neck all day today and you have knots up the wazoo!"

My mind is jelly, I feel a deep ache run through every inch of muscle in me, begging to be rubbed by Alex.

"Just try to breathe through it Jules, it's going to hurt really bad in some areas but it'll feel better later."

I nod ever so slightly, taking in as much comfort as I can before the imminent pain. Not a moment after I really start feeling relaxed, I feel a sharp stabbing pain in the area where my neck and shoulder meet.

"Ow! That hurts!" I groan loudly as I try to wiggle away.

"Give me another minute or two and I can get the knot out. It'll feel so much better tomorrow. Remember to breathe, I can feel you tensing."

I release my breath and whimper. I try to take slow deep breaths which just sound pathetic. I can't feel more happy than I do when he stops touching that spot.

His hands work down the sides of my spine, digging into every muscle along the way. I can't stop the satisfied whine I let out as he runs over the middle of my back. I can't stop the blushing either when I hear him laugh.

"Lean back," he whispers. I'm numb to everything and listen.

His hands go back to my shoulders and run down my arms, not applying pressure but gently grazing over the skin of my inner arm. He gently grabs my hand in his and starts rubbing little circles in between my thumb and pointer finger. It's so wonderfully painful.

"Relax tonight, you deserve it. Let me handle making you feel better, you handle closing those pretty eyes and resting."

God, yes please.