24 Chapter 24

Waiting for the bus drives me insane. Alex insists I make the best of it, write something to my mom, so I do.

Hey mom,

It's me, Jules. I know you're probably worried about me and I promise I'm trying to come home, but until then this is the best I can offer.

I've seen so much while I've been gone though. I can't tell you where I'm going but I can tell you where I've been; I love getting to go to new places, Oklahoma and Missouri are beautiful! In Missouri there's beautiful grass everywhere and Oklahoma has so much to do. Oklahoma also has this awesome little cupcake shop I think you'd love. I'm leaving Texas today, I think you would like it, it's so nice and warm. The sun is constantly shining down on all these fun little antique shops, you and I will have to come back someday.

While in Texas, I felt bad I wasn't able to help out. I've been worried about you getting enough money to pay the bills and get food, so I set up a small art stand here and drew portraits. I'm sending you the money I made from it, all $347! I made that money with just my art and I'm really hoping it's enough to help you get by. I'll send more, I promise and send you more updates. I hope I can call you soon.

I love you mom,

Jules

Alex gave me a stamp and envelope. He told me to put the money in between the letter and postcards so no one can see it through the envelope. While we wait he runs the letter to a nearby post office and mails it out. He tells me it will probably be about a week before she gets it. By then I'll have sent her even more. I wish I could say I'd be home by then, but I can't.

When we finally board the bus Alex makes sure we're one of the first ones on the bus, "Pick a seat, and heads up, we're changing time zones so it'll feel later than it is when we get there."

"Seriously? How big of a time difference?" I shove my backpack under my seat and sit down.

"Only an hour, but it can mess with you big time. I once went on vacation as a kid before my grandparents died, to Hawaii, five hour time difference. It doesn't really sound like much but it screwed me up, I was tired like halfway through the day and up way early. It's hard to enjoy vacation when you're awake before anything is open and you're wanting to sleep when the fun stuff is happening."

"I would kill to see Hawaii, I would bring as many art supplies and just take in the culture. I know you won't tell me where we're going until we get there but how long is this trip?"

"About five hours. I know that sounds like an eternal hell but I know you'll find a way to pass the time," he flashes that charming smirk of his. I hate how weak at the knees it makes me feel.

I pull out my book and iPod, I need to get away from him and just go to my space. In a world where he doesn't exist, I don't have to feel so powerless.

I feel him still staring at me, glancing over I see that same smirk still directed at me.

"That won't work on me," I look back at my book and try to shake him off.

"What won't work on you?" his voice is light and humorous.

"That little smile you do, cocky and confident. I see you use it at school to charm teachers, staff, classmates, half the girls in our class have fallen victim to it."

He scoffs at me, "That's not..." he looks at my unchanged expression and his voice drops, "True... I wasn't, I mean, I wasn't trying to charm you or anything. I was just smiling at you."

I ignore the heat I feel in my ears, I keep telling myself that he's not as charming as he thinks, that he's not worth the trouble. Get in, get out, somehow make it home in one piece, that's the goal here.

He slumps into his seat next to me and starts playing with his shoe laces. I press play on my iPod and hope I can just ignore him for five hours.

He fidgets the whole trip, occasionally glancing back at me. I see him open his mouth to speak, but I desperately don't want to talk so I turn up my volume. I'm running out of stuff to do, I finished the coloring book Alex gave me, I've almost finished my last book, and I don't think my iPod battery will survive the trip.

Maybe wherever we're going will be nice and quiet. Knowing my luck we'll end up in a dumpy motel and Alex will still be moody and won't go a day without pissing me off.

After I've gone through most of my music, I look over to see Alex asleep. He looks so... Small. When he's asleep, especially when he's asleep on the bus, he keeps everything close to him. His hands are shoved in his pockets, his arms pulled in close, his head lowered to rest, cradled between his shoulders. It's almost sweet.

The slow ride seems slower the closer I get to finishing my book, I have no idea how long we've been on the road but I'm begging the universe to get us there soon.

As one of my favorite songs comes on, I start humming and swaying. I watch out the window, seeing nothing but empty road, empty land, and huge rock formations. The occasional cargo train rolls along.

Alex stirs next to me, his legs stretching out under the seat in front of him. He shakes his head and opens his eyes, squinting against the bright sun shining in through the window.

"We're not there yet?" he groans.

I pull my lips together and shake my head, "We're somewhere, but not where I think we're supposed to be. Unless you wanted us to be in the middle of nowhere."

"Ha ha, very funny smart-ass," he rolls his eyes and grabs my book, "Maybe if you were looking outside and looking at the road signs you would know where we're going."

I grab for my book but he pulls it farther out of my reach. Slowly, a smile stretches across his mouth.

"Oh you think this is funny?" he keeps smiling at me, I pull out my phone, "I can start watching the signs, find out where we're going and call a car to meet us there so I can go home."

His smile vanishes and he hands me the book, "Don't joke about that. Please."

"Don't steal my stuff," I put in my bookmark and put it back into my backpack.

He watches me a little while longer before looking back at the seat in front of him. I don't know how much longer until we stop but I do know I won't put up with the frumpy silence the rest of the ride.

"If you have something you want to say, say it, don't frump," I pull my backpack onto my lap as I give him a sideways glance.

"You drive me nuts," he blurts out. His words stun me, "You drive me absolutely insane. You are one of the few girls I've met who actually thinks for herself, who doesn't just fall at my feet. Normally that would be awesome, I'd love it, but god I can never figure you out. I'm used to thinking my little quirks are attractive but they just push your buttons, I want to understand you and be there for you but I'm just... Lost. You're amazing, but you're impossible for me to read."

I stare at him, he's slowly becoming more blunt with me. I like it, I'm not sitting here trying to understand his mixed signals.

He rolls his eyes and flops against his seat, "For the love of god Jules, I just said I can't read you and now you're just staring at me. Say something please?"

"Thank you."

"W--what?"

"Thank you, for being honest. I often feel the same way about you, I can never tell what you're thinking. It drives me up a wall."

He chuckles, "Good to know we're both lost in this relationship."

"What'd you say? R--relationship?"

He looks up, unsure what to say, "Oh, I just meant, you know, this friendship, I don't know really what to call it. I didn't mean it as, a relationship kind of thing."

"Oh yeah, of course, I get it now," I force myself to give a small laugh, "I got a little freaked out there for a second, I was confused."

"Sorry," he whispers, "My bad."

He goes back to fidgeting with his shoelaces. I just sit and watch my surroundings, out the window, the people across the aisle from us, Alex. After about twenty of aimless staring, I see a sign saying "Welcome to Albuquerque, New Mexico". I already know this trip will suck.

"We're going to be stopping soon. Are you all set?"

I nod giving him a smile, "Yep, I've got my backpack and the easel."

"Alright, awesome. Umm," he bends down to grab something but stops, narrowing his eyes at me, "Are we good?"

"Yes, Alex, we're good," I shake my head as I grip my stuff. At least Alex and I are ok, but I still have to spend the next few days surrounded by Breaking Bad.

Jen tried to get me into it, letting me use her Netflix, but I didn't like it. Of course I didn't tell her right away and she talked me to death about the show. She always said she wanted to come to New Mexico and see as much Breaking Bad stuff as she could. Maybe I'll draw her a picture, send it with the stuff for my mom.

I'm so lost in thought I don't notice us pulling into the bus stop.

"Jules?" I jump when I feel Alex's hand on my shoulder, "Hey, it's time to go, are you alright?"

"Yeah, just thinking about home," I stand up slowly, "Hopefully soon I can stop thinking about it and see it instead."

He nods lightly as he steps away to let me past him. His hand stays firmly on my lower back as we exit the bus and make our way down the street.

He stands and talks to a few of the ticket people to find out about cheap hotels and motels, all while I stand in a corner guarding our stuff. I watch someone show Alex places on a map and point down different streets, he nods and stays engaged in the conversation. Slowly he pulls away with a smile, thanking them for their help.

Meeting back up with me, he gathers some of the stuff at my feet, "So there's a motel a few blocks down, it's supposed to be decent for the price. I vote we get settled into a room and just take a night for ourselves, eat something maybe watch TV or play cards?"

"I think that sounds like a good idea, my legs could use a break from standing all day to draw."

He cracks a smile, one he's obviously trying to hide as he starts marching down the street.

It takes us probably twenty minutes to get to the motel Alex was told about, it seems to be ok, for less than $80 a night. We get checked in and make our way up to our room. I'm not surprised to see only one bed.

Alex tests out the mattress, and the way it creaks under his weight almost hurts to listen to. Regardless, we throw our stuff to the side and settle in with game shows, crime dramas, and take out menus. No tension between us, at last.