21 Chapter 21

I wake up the next morning to find Alex dressed and ready for the day.

"Hey!" He smiles when he sees me sit up, "You want to go find a good art spot after some breakfast?"

I feel like a statue, my whole body is so stiff and here he is acting like a kid on Christmas, "Aren't we chipper today. How long have you been awake?"

"Twenty minutes, I woke up and felt wide awake so I figured I would get a start on the day. So, why don't we go get breakfast and then go find a spot where you can draw?"

I nod as I slowly rise off the floor, when I'm standing up I feel my back pop all the way down my spine. It's painful. I miss the bed.

Grabbing my clothes, I disappear into the bathroom and get dressed. It's not very cold here right now, in the mid 70's it seems, so I elected to wear some dark shorts and a white t-shirt. I tuck my shirt into the high waist of the short shorts, I think I look good, artistic. Putting on my light makeup and pulling on my boots, I strut into the bedroom.

"Wow, you look.... Wow," Alex is stunned staring at me, he stares so long I'm afraid he can see through my shirt.

My palms start to sweat the longer he stares, "A-are you ready to go?

He nods, he keeps nodding as he pulls his shoes on and grabs his wallet. Together we head to the door, he keeps his head down as he opens it for me.

We walk down the road and head into town, it's not busy but there are people out and about trying to find sights. I can't help but feel pulled in too, there are a lot of shops and boutiques to look at.

An hour and a half later, we come to find a street that has a constant flow of people with an open curb in front of one of the stores, there's a nice little bench on the sidewalk for people to sit on while I draw.

"What about here?" Alex stands on the corner, looking at me hopeful.

I look around, "I think this could work, we can come back tomorrow and I'll get started."

He smiles, "Ok, so is there anything you'll need besides the obvious?"

Shrugging my shoulders I squint at the sun, "Maybe some samples of my work and something to put them on. I've never done this Alex."

I can see him thinking as his eyebrows furrow and he bites him upper lip, "Ok, well how about we get some food and head back to the hotel and we'll go from there."

Coming back over to me, he throws his arm over my shoulder to walk me back to the motel. We pick up some food on our way back so we can just relax all day. With no chance of blackouts and a new beautiful city, we just want to spend one day in peace.

Alex manages to find some game shows and we binge for most of the day. We bounce from eating, to talk about tomorrow, to me creating sample art.

He sits starting at my hands while I draw samples of him and pictures of Jen, "I think it's amazing to watch you draw, you get so focused and your hands move so precisely and gracefully."

I glance up at him, stopping my drawing. I don't know what to say, I'm lost staring into his mesmerized eyes while I try to find some words.

"D-don't, just don't move," I feel like my brain is shutting down when he does this. I lose all composure.

His gaze stays fixated on me and my hands, I try to ignore him to focus on drawing.

Nothing changes until I've finally decided to stop, it's seven o'clock and my hands are sore and I'm running low on sketchbook space. Alex rises from the bed like its painful to still sit.

"Why don't you wind down for the night, shower, get ready for tomorrow, rest. I'm going to go get you another sketchbook and some food."

Before I can object he's gone.

I look through my drawings to choose which ones I want to use for my samples tomorrow, I grab one of Jen, one of a face I made up, and the one I drew of Alex. I stare at the drawing of Alex for a while, I look at his eyes and I almost hate how perfectly I captured his eyes when he watched me draw. I can't count how many times I wished he would look at me like that when we were in class together.

I put my earbuds back in and stare at the drawing. Three years, all I wanted was to be looked at like that by any guy, all it took was the devil threatening our lives and being in a motel room in another state.

My hands ache, my eyes hurt, I can't help but feel tired and give into to the comfortable bed under me. Before I know it I'm asleep, it's dark and quiet.

Waking up, I'm under the blankets and my drawings are moved to the nightstand. I don't see Alex anywhere but there is a little plastic bowl of mac n cheese.

I pull it close and cradle it next to me. I'm still tired, but the food looks and smells amazing even though it's cold.

Creamy and soft, the noodles are comforting as I shovel them into me mouth with the cheap plastic spork I have. I see a bottle of water up next to where the food was. Once the bowl is empty I pull the water close and down it before getting out of the bed to go to the bathroom.

I wash my face before I crawl back into the bed. I've never felt so tired, I don't know if it's all those extra shifts and homework back home and the chaos of this trip finally catching up or if it's just my body trying to occupy my time, but actually getting to sleep is nice.

I think I faintly hear the door open as I'm falling asleep but at the same time I assume it's my imagination and doze off again.

I wake up at ten the next morning and I'm stunned to see a small fold up easel by the door.

"Alex?" I call out, surprised and confused.

He pops out of the bathroom, concern written on his face, "You're awake? Is everything ok?"

"What is that?"

He looks at the folded up metal bars, "Oh I saw that when I grabbed your sketchbook, I thought it would help you draw since you don't have anything to put your sketchbook on. As long as we don't break it and I don't throw away the receipt we can return it before we leave."

I get up to go look at the easel, carefully I unfold it. It's not heavy, and it's easy to set up, I've never had my own easel. At school I had one in class but every summer I lost it. It's comforting seeing this, it feels like I'm back in the art room at lunch painting. For a moment, just a moment, I'm back home.

He steps out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth while he leans on the wall and stares at me.

The easel is taller than me when fully set up, and the metal, while light, is very sturdy. I can't help wish I could keep this forever.

I can't help myself, I run over to Alex and wrap my arms around him. He chuckles and gives me a tight squeeze.

"I appreciate the affection but unless you want toothpaste in your hair..."

I pull away to see a big smile plastered on his face, "Thank you Alex, I know it's not permanent and I know it won't last but at least for the next few days you brought me home. You brought me back and gave me something I've always wanted."

His smile softens, no longer a smile of humorous joy but instead pure kindness and almost what looked like appreciation.

"You know, that does come with a bag to carry it in, you can keep it, we can do this in each town we go to. All that does is it makes it so we have to leave sooner but if you want to keep it and do portraits as we go you can."

I feel my heart pounding. I could have my own easel, I could eventually go home and stop having to prop my work against my wall.

"Ar-are you sure? I could pay you back, I could really," I start frantically babbling, "How much was it? I'll work all day drawing if that's what I need to do to pay you back."

He waves his hand as if to disregard my entire thought, "No you don't need to pay me back, I don't want you to, it was on sale and it's something you can use whenever wherever. I'm just glad I could make you happy in some way, and this could help you send money to your mom. After everything you've gone through and everything I've put you through I think you should have something good that has no strings attached."

My mouth pulls into a smile, he tries to hide his by shoving his toothbrush back in his mouth. He ducks into the bathroom again and I can't help but start laughing and jumping around.

I go pull out some clothes, looking closely at my high waisted jeans and study the hole I repaired a few weeks ago after snagging it in the kitchen at work. Jen used to tell me how impressed she was, I took impeccable care of my clothes and almost never gained enough weight to grow out of my clothes. I rarely had money to buy new clothes so when I did they looked nice and I treated them like gifts from God, only my boots are pretty much destroyed but I have had them for a year and a half. Most days off if I wasn't studying I was fixing small holes in mine or my mom's clothes.

I slip on the jeans and a grey short sleeved shirt before Alex stepped out of the bathroom.

"You ready?" I smile at him as he goes to fold up the easel.

"Yeah, do you have your pens and pencils and stuff?" He doesn't look at me while he talks, his full attention is on trying to properly package the easel.

I hold up my backpack, "Yeah I'm all set. I'm actually excited, nervous, but excited."

"I can stay with you if you'd like, you know, to talk and help keep you calm or whatever."

I shrug, "Maybe, let's see if anyone even wants me to draw anything first."

He gives me a smirk, "They will, when they see what you can do, I'd be surprised if there wasn't a line."

I chuckle as we head out the door. As much as I want to get over my crush and just distance myself from Alex, something about him just draws me in.