20 Chapter 20

Opening my eyes I see our bags by the door. Alex is nowhere to be seen. Looking at the clock it's not even eight in the morning, where could he be that early? Why even think of getting up that early unless you have work or school?

Groaning, I pull the blankets up over my head and try to go back to sleep. Before I know it the door is opening and I hear our bags moving around. I peak over the blanket to see Alex grabbing his and my backpack.

"You ever hear of sleeping in? I've heard it's great and I'd love to try it," I pull the blanket back in order to glare at him. All I get in return is a sweet smile.

"I was trying not to wake you, I got our bus tickets and I was going to let you sleep until the last minute I could."

I feel the blush run up my face, "Thanks... Too bad it didn't happen, right?"

He nods as he watches me sit up and stretch. I climb out of the bed too fast, giving myself a head rush leading to me stumbling and almost falling. Alex gives me support by wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. He's so warm and strong I feel like I could go back to sleep right here.

"Are you ready to go?" His voice is a soft whisper against my ear.

I almost don't hear him, I'm in a daze, but I manage to nod, "I just need to change."

His arms slip away slowly, leaving me feeling cold as I grab my clothes and head for the bathroom.

I quickly exchange the comfortable pj's for the snug fit of my black skinny jeans and the thick warmth of my red sweater.

Stepping out of the bathroom I see Alex staring through the blinds on the window. His face is firm in concentration before he turns to look at me and his whole demeanor changes. I watch as his shoulders relax and his jaw goes slick. We stand staring at each other for a few very long moments before he regains his focus and picks up my backpack.

"Heads up," he tosses it in my direction, catching me off guard.

I barely catch the bag without dropping it, he focused on making sure we have everything as I shove my pj's into my duffle bag and throw my backpack over my shoulder. I grab my jacket, slip on my boots, and patiently wait by the door.

Alex ushers me out the door as he grabs his jacket. It's brisk outside, the air is cool and crisp. I take in the nice breeze while I wait for Alex to return the room key, it feels nice against the skin on my neck.

"Jules, come on, we need to leave. Are you ready?" He puts his hand on my lower back, but I don't react.

"Just one more minute, this feels amazing."

Being cooped up in the motel room for almost a week, I've almost forgotten how nice it is to come out to a cool morning breeze. He moves his hand off me and steps back, I wish he would take a moment to enjoy this with me.

I turn to look at him stand there stiff and awkward, "You tell me to relax and let go all the time. Take your own advice."

He looks down at his shoes, I can tell he's trying not to push me but I know he wants to leave. Rolling my eyes, I adjust my backpack on my shoulder.

"Alright fine lets go, I can feel your antsy-ness from here," he looks up at me, apologizing with his eyes. We start walking together back to the bus stop.

By 9:30 we're loading onto the bus and Alex gives me his hand to lift me onto the steps. He hasn't spoken since we left the motel. I think he just wants to leave so he doesn't have to worry about blackouts but it still annoys me how moody he is. He relaxes in his seat as we pass the city boarder. I glance at him occasionally while I read and I feel him do the same.

"I grabbed you one of these before we left," he hands me an Oklahoma City postcard, "I don't know, I keep hoping we'll find a way to send them to your mom or something. I like to think it would give you both some comfort."

"Maybe, I think it would help here to know she can keep track of me in case something happens."

He tries to force a smile but fails, I watch him bounce his leg nervously for an hour before I start seething.

"Do you still have the deck of cards, maybe we can play go fish or something?"

He nods as he pulls out the cards. After dealing the cards and setting up the game, he starts looking calmer.

"Got any tens?" I keep my voice low hoping to not disturb anyone on the bus.

He shakes his head, "Go fish."

I pull a card from a deck, a six and pair it with another six I have, "So where are we going?"

"Texas. Do you have a five?"

I hand him my five, "Why Texas?"

He shrugs, "Never seen it, always wanted to, it's warm so I thought it would be nice."

I nod slowly before continuing with our game, "Any eights?"

He smiles as he shakes his head, "Go fish."

Our game goes on for another fifteen minutes before I finally win. Six games later, about half way through our trip, the score stands two wins for him and four for me. He's begging me to stop playing.

I pull out my coloring book while he puts away the cards. This bus ride is a straight four hours with no stops and we're only half way there. Alex settles into his seat to sleep while I keep my focus on coloring and reading.

Occasionally looking over, I see Alex relax and fall asleep. I can't help but be afraid of how he'll be when he wakes up.

Putting on my earbuds, I fall into my music and the fictional world in front of me. The next two hours pass by and we pass the Amarillo border.

I reach out to shake Alex awake, barely touching him before his hand wraps around my wrist, "I'm awake, I'm up."

Closing my book, I pull my hand away. I can't tell which Alex is next to me right now, so I just stare at him waiting for some clue.

He glances over at me with sleepy eyes, "Do I need to charge a viewing fee?"

I punch him in the arm as he laughs at his own dumb joke. He's fine but not for long because I swear I'm going to kick him.

"Come on, that was good, you can't say that wasn't funny," he smiles as we pull into the bus station.

I roll my eyes as he grabs his backpack and the briefcase that both sit at his feet. Together we get off the bus and start making our way into town to find a motel. It takes three hours and a big lunch to find a motel that's cheap seeing as we're on limited funds.

This motel has another college age girl at the front desk, leaving me standing to the side forced to listen to her awful giggle as she tries to flirt with Alex. Nothing about her looks natural, her hair is platinum blonde and her skin looks too perfectly smooth and flawless. I look over the desk to get a better view of her, she makes herself look curvy by keeping a thin stomach. She probably didn't have to worry about the freshman 15.

"Jules, are you ready?" He waves a key card in front of my face with a smile.

"Yes, believe me," I dart out of the main office like its on fire.

He brushes past me to find our room, "You really do get antsy around other girls don't you?"

"Only ones who flirt so openly in front of other people, like for all she knew I was your girlfriend, she didn't care that someone else could be there and uncomfortable."

He nods, "Yeah, that's how you know if a girl really cares in my opinion, if she cares about those around her and doesn't make a fool of herself. Guys do it too, throw themselves at someone like that, it's sad to watch in some cases."

I'm surprised, I always thought Alex cared about the conquest above all else. To hear he values how those around him feel and his own dignity is comforting.

"So what about all the girls at school? They throw themselves at you but you still let them."

He shrugs, "Why do you think none of them have made it to 'girlfriend' status? I can play along, give them a rush maybe if I want to but you have to want more than the conquest to stick around."

He opens the door to the room and we walk in to see a fairly nice room, better than past ones. The bed is big, as is the TV, the housekeeping here must be better than our past motels as the bed is made nicely and the wood floors look freshly cleaned.

"You can have the bed tonight," my words surprise him causing him to spin around to face me, "I think I'm going to draw or read. I'm not all that tired."

He hesitates but nods in agreement, "Ok, thanks. I'll take the bed, but on one condition," he rips off his jacket and his shirt, I'm concerned, "At least three of the day's we're here, you go find a nice place to set up and you do portraits to make money for your mom. Do that and I'll take the bed whenever you tell me too while we're here."

"I'll take that deal when you put a shirt on," he chuckles and nods. I can't help wish the shirt would stay off, but I tell myself not to fall down that rabbit hole.

He grabs a shirt and flannel pants and disappears into the bathroom. I pull out clothes for tomorrow and pj's for tonight. Normally I would want to shower but honestly I want to sit down and get sucked into my book to tune out the world.

I make it through my chapter when Alex comes out of the shower and sighs at the sight of me on the floor, "Are you sure you don't want the bed?"

I nod, "Yeah, I'm good here, but if you could go in the closet for extra blankets and pillows I would appreciate it," I give a gentle smile.

He pulls out a few extra pillows and a couple really soft extra blankets, with this I make a nice little set up under the window. I read while Alex slowly falls asleep, leaving me by myself in a way.

I manage to stay awake until midnight before I start falling asleep on my book and let go.