17 Chapter 17

I pull my jacket over my bare arms and over the little straps holding up my shirt. The last thing I want is Alex seeing my bra strap under it, he already saw my underwear I'm drawing the line.

"You look nice," he smiles at me, tilting his head to the side as he looks me up and down, "The purple is a good color on you."

I pull my hair down to try and put it into a better ponytail, "Thanks, I think this is actually the first time I've worn it."

"It looks nice. You should leave your hair down," his remark stops me dead in my tracks, and I'm standing there holding my hair up, "I never knew it was so wavy, it frames your face well. You look so relaxed with it down."

I've never had it down, at work it has to be up so it doesn't get in my way, and it's easier to do before school than brushing and maintaining it the whole day. I hesitate to drop my hair, but when it hits the back of my neck I feel the waves form. Normally my hair is up and appears very straight, but I'm like my mom and have natural light waves in my hair. My hair naturally falls to the side, almost covering my left eye.

"Now if you dressed like this around school and let your hair down, literally, I can guarantee that boys will approach you. It's ok to let go a little bit, you look incredible no matter what you do but you look so relaxed and at peace like this. It looks natural," he steps in front of me, holding my shoulders and giving me a squeeze.

I don't know how to feel about what he said. I know he meant it as friendly advice and a compliment but in reality it sounded a little insulting. I have a tough life, "letting go" isn't very easy. I'm not going to pretend things are great or make life even remotely harder just to make me approachable to guys and look relaxed and pretty. But he did say I look incredible.

"You're really bossy," I stare at him, a little dazed at his good looks and his backhanded compliment, "Do you know that?"

He shrugs, "I prefer assertive. Are you ready?"

I nod as I slip on my boots. He opens the door for me and together we walk out. He places his hand firmly on my lower back and keeps me close.

I feel like a dog on a leash.

I shimmy my way out of his grip, much to his dismay. When he tries to put his hand back I slap it.

"What the hell? What's your deal?"

We're not even out of the motel parking lot but I quickly turn to face him, making him freeze.

"Alex, I get your trying to protect me, but I am so suffocated right now I'm going mad. You need to back off just a little. I can walk five blocks and back without your hands somewhere on me, thank you."

Before he can respond I've turned and started walking again. He stands there stunned for a minute before he catches up to me. I feel him start to reach for me, but he stops himself.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye, he shoves his hands into his pockets and fidgets as he tries to keep his distance from me.

"So is there anything interesting around here?" I glance back at him.

"I don't really know, when I was getting food someone mentioned a zoo but I mean every city has a zoo," he shrugs it off, he's probably been to a zoo.

"I've never been to a zoo," I pull my lips into a tight line as he looks at me in surprise, "Couldn't ever afford it, also haven't seen a movie in theaters since I was like four. Stuff like that is easy to shrug off until you hear someone hasn't experienced it."

He cringes slightly, "Sorry, I didn't even think about that. Hey maybe when we can go home I'll take you to the zoo."

Deep inside of me, I feel butterflies. There's something in me saying "Like a date?" while something else in me wants to laugh at the thought.

"Maybe, but I'll probably have my hands full. I mean who knows how long we'll be gone or how much work we'll have to make up, plus I'll probably go right back to work if they haven't replaced me by then."

I push my hair behind my ear, only for it to fall again. This is why I wear my hair up.

Alex watches me, he almost looks disappointed that I plan to just jump back into how things were.

"Do you really think it'll be possible to just go back to the way things were? Just go back to work and school and pretend this never happened? People will ask questions," he looks at me in disbelief.

"Alex the only people who will notice me gone are my boss, my teachers, and my only friend. If I'm lucky I can shrug it off as I was super sick and just go about my life. I don't care how many guys you think have feelings for me, I'm sure next to no one noticed me gone."

I start walking again, hoping he won't see my eyes well up. I never wanted to be invisible but that's just where my life took me, I'm amazed I even have my friend Jen, but being a teenage girl with close to no free time it's hard to form any sort of relationship. Jen was just stubborn and I love her for it. I hope she's doing ok.

I wonder if mom's called me back. Is she doing ok? Has Jen stopped by the house looking for me? Would she tell people she couldn't get a hold of me?

I'm pulled away from my thoughts as I feel Alex wrap his arm around my waist as he quickly drags me backwards. I almost walked into oncoming traffic.

"Jesus!" he spins me to face him, "What are you doing? Are you trying to get killed? Two cities in a row that you pull this insane stuff!"

My heart stings when he says that, "Are you saying I went looking for what happened in Springfield? Or that I wanted to get hit by a car?"

"What? No! That's not what I'm saying! Jules--"

"Then what are you saying? I'm only here because you dragged me along, because you decided to make a deal with the devil! I never even would have been in Springfield, I never would have met Robert had you even chosen to make your deal somewhere other than right outside of where I work!"

I wrap my jacket tightly around myself and brush quickly past him, taking off in the direction of the motel. I wipe tears away from my eyes, I'm starting to reach my breaking point.

"Hey! Jules, wait!" I hear him holler behind me but I don't hear him follow me.

My hair bounces as the wind and tears sting my face. I can't get into the motel room without him, he has the key, but I don't want to be around him. I know he probably is following me now, because heaven forbid I get more than ten feet away from him.

I march on, trying to keep a good distance between us. All of my strength is being spent trying not to hit him.

I feel a hand carefully land on my shoulder, I smack it off instantly.

"Jules please," Alex's voice is soft and desperate, "I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did, I don't know why I said that."

"Give me the room key," I hold out my hand without looking at him, "I can't, I just can't right now Alex."

"I don't want to leave you alone in there, I feel awful."

"Alex just give me the key!" I'm shaking.

I feel the little piece of plastic meet my palm, I continue to march to the room.

"I'm sorry," his voice fades behind me.

I rush into the room, slamming the door behind me. I let myself fall to the floor and I just kick at the floor. I'm done, I'm absolutely done.

I grab my bag and start shoving everything inside, my clothes, my makeup, my art supplies. I start shoving my books into my backpack when I find my sketchpad with all my drawings from the trip, from my drawing of Alex sleeping to the drawings I did yesterday. I stare at them, completely overwhelmed.

I prepare to tear them up, starting with the drawing of Alex sleeping, when I hear a knock at the door.

It's silent. I don't know if it's Alex outside or someone else, I don't really care, I'm not opening the door. I look back down at the drawings and as bad as I still want to rip them up, the supplies weren't necessarily cheap and they did come out pretty good.

I hear the knock again, it's gentle and hesitant. It's probably Alex.

"Go away!" I call out as I place the drawings in my backpack.

"Let me in Jules, I am the one paying for the room!" His voice is muffled by the door but I can hear his minor frustration.

I shove the last of my stuff in my bag and throw them over my shoulder. Gathering my courage I match to the door. Opening it, I see the shock on Alex's face.

"What are you doing?"

"Move, I'm so done. I want to go home," I try to brush past him but he won't let me through.

"Stop, you're being ridiculous. Jules put your stuff down, please," He grabs the strap of my backpack.

"Seriously? I'm hundreds of miles away from home, with a guy I barely know, being chased by someone I didn't even think existed and me wanting to go home is ridiculous?" I shove him off and he tries to grab my arm, "Alex don't touch me!"

He steps back, stunned. He's frozen until I make it halfway through the parking lot.

"Jules! You can't go home, he'll find you! You don't have any money and you don't know how to get there," he grabs my hand, causing me to pause, "Please just stay. I'll do anything, just stay and let me try to keep you safe."

I bite my tongue.

"Let go of me," I shove him back and start walking again.

"Jules! Seriously this whole thing is crazy, I get it, but you can't leave. I'm sorry, I really am! I'm sorry I got you into this, I'm sorry I don't know when to shut up, I'm sorry I hurt you and scared you. I'm sorry I keep making things harder for you but I just want to keep you safe," his voice is close behind me, "Please tell me what I have to do to make you stay."

I stop and think. I know he won't let me leave peacefully, that it'll be a tooth and nail battle.

I turn to face him, my face firm, "Think before you speak, I'm not some floozy at school who will forgive everything because you think you look good, I'm sick of your cockiness. I want to go outside every night, I can't stay in a motel room all day everyday while you get to go do whatever. Even if I just sit in front of the door for ten minutes I want to go outside. Stop treating me like I'm helpless, before this I had a job, my mom, my house, and school. You took that away, I'm not the same girl as I was back home because you took it all from me. And when this is done and I can go home, I want you to stay the hell away from me. Got it?"

He nods, shocked and hurt. We walk back to the room in silence.