15 Chapter 15

I've gone through close to ten pages in my sketch book. I needed a way to get all the fear and anger out of my head, a way to express how badly I want this over and how smothered I feel lately.

The pages are filled with charcoal images, images of Alex and me. Images of Alex with those painfully blank eyes staring at me as he keeps me trapped against a wall. Images of the Devil using Alex as a puppet. I use my finger to shade the final image of me trying to escape a box as I run out of air while Alex holds the door closed. I look at the images spread in front of me, taking them in before I pile them up and shove them into my backpack. My hope is Alex will never find these and I can have some part of my life that is just mine.

Flipping through my sketchbook I hear a knock at the door. Who would be coming up here? Front desk maybe needed to check something?

I quietly tiptoe over to the door to look out the peephole. I don't see anyone. The door pounds again causing me to jump back. The knocking gets louder and louder before suddenly stopping. I stand there, listening, waiting to hear something. A few minutes later I hear knocking next door, over the course of the next twenty minutes I hear the knocking go down the stretch of doors.

Stepping back I grab my backpack off the bed before darting into the bathroom and locking the door behind me. I pull out the phone, wishing I had some way to call Alex or call anyone to come help.

I hold my bag close and wait for Alex to come back. I shake on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, my bear legs pressing into the floor.

Almost half an hour later I hear the door open. I don't hear footsteps, and I don't hear anyone speak. I'm frozen.

"Jules?" Alex's voice rings out, "Jules, where are you?"

I feel my chest release as I stop holding my breath. I get up and yank the door open, when I see Alex standing a few steps away I jump to him and wrap my arms around him. He almost falls backwards.

"Whoa, good to see you too," he laughs as he places his hand firmly on my lower back, "What's going on?"

"I'm so glad your back," I squeeze him while I whisper quickly to him, "There was someone knocking on the door, but when I looked out the peephole there was nothing. The knocking kept going and eventually went to the other rooms. I didn't know what to do."

He pulls me back, "It's ok, there's no one out there. I promise you, you're safe. I won't let anything happen."

I see the Alex that took care of me after I was drugged, now I'm seeing the Alex who brought enough movies to marathon for days, I'm seeing the Alex that truly cares for others because he can.

I look down, embarrassed by how I jumped him. I watch his shoes and watch him dart to the TV stand before facing me again. I look up and see a little, pink cardboard box.

"What's this?" I give the box a confused smirk.

"I found a place, they have candy and soda and other stuff like that. They have really cool cupcakes and I thought maybe something sweet would make you feel better," He hands me the box before rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, "I wasn't sure what to get you so I went with the ladies recommendation."

I see the sticker reading Pinkitzel before opening the box to find a red cupcake with a huge tower of frosting on top.

"It's red velvet, I almost got you peanut butter cup but then I realized I didn't know if you had an allergy or not. I didn't want to risk giving you a reaction," he chuckles, looking away from me.

"Thank you, it looks amazing," I smile up at him, I decide to take a chance, "Maybe later you and I could split it?"

He looks shocked, "Are you serious," a smile appears when I nod, "Ok, yeah, I would like that."

I sit down on the bed, placing the cupcake down on the nightstand, "Did you find any good food?"

"Yeah I found a couple places that look ok, I don't know, part of me just wants to order a pizza."

"Well, that sounds like a good idea to me, neither of us should be out in the city too much. The longer you're out there the more comfortable you get."

He smiles, "Look at you getting all paranoid," He looks into the bathroom, "Jules, you know your backpack is in here right?"

I jump off the bed to grab it as I watch him pick it up, holding the two flaps open. I grab it from his hands before he manages to open it and see my drawings.

"Yeah I had it in the bathroom with me during the whole door-knocking incident," I try to smile as I hold the bag close to me.

He looks stunned, "Uh, ok... So hey, I was kind of thinking, maybe we could watch a movie later?"

"Yeah sure, that sounds good," I'm cringing on the inside.

We seem ridiculous, me hiding my drawings, acting like a maniac, and him trying to get back to our normal but coming across like a desperate freshman. I cannot wait until we leave Oklahoma and just forget all about it.

Crawling back on the bed, I turn to see Alex looking at me.

"Are you.... Ok?" I settle against the pillows and pull out my book.

He nods slowly, looking up to smile at me, "Yeah, just lost in thought I guess. I'm still trying to figure out how to prevent today from happening again."

"Maybe get some sleep so you aren't as exhausted?" I open my book. I give him a crooked smile before looking down at the pages.

"Alright smarty pants," he sits at my feet, "I get your point. In that case I'm probably going to go to bed at like nine. I don't want to take any chances, plus I could get you breakfast in the morning."

I flinch when he puts his warm hand on my ice feet. He pulls his hand back.

"Jeez, Jack Frost much? Holy shit, how does someone even get that cold?" He looks terrified, "Get under the blanket, oh my god!"

I laugh as I pull the blankets back, I can feel myself blushing. I pull my book close to my face to hide from him, I glance at the clock and see it's almost five. Part of me wants the day to just be over and hope tomorrow will be better, the other part looks forward to a movie with Alex and hoping my mom will call me back.

"I'm going to order us pizza, pepperoni ok with you?" He reaches for the motel phone.

"Can you maybe put mushrooms on half of it?" I flutter my eyelashes at him, making him shake his head and laugh.

I read while he orders the pizza then we just sit in silence until it's delivered. By the time it gets here, the sun has gone down and it's almost six.

"Darn it," he stares at the pizza, disappointed, "They got it right. They let you ruin perfectly good pepperoni."

I shove him, "There is nothing wrong with mushrooms, I love them. I think I might marry them some day," I plop a couple slices on a cheap paper plate and curl up in my spot again.

"You're pitiful, but whatever," he sits next to me with his plate and the remote, "Hopefully we can find something to take my mind off the sacrilege in your mouth."

I take a big bite of my pizza before crinkling my nose at him. Watching him flip through the channels, I point out a few cartoon movies that look like fun. He turns down Rio and Coco and we bicker weather or not we should watch Zootopia or Ice Age.

We settle our dispute the old fashion way...

Rock, paper, scissors.

I lost. Ice Age it is.

I don't remember seeing this when it came out but I do remember it from when I was a kid, my mom was a BlockBuster freak. It was her only real splurge in life, and she found peace in watching cartoons with me.

I don't even make it half way through the movie before I've eaten most of my pizza and start feeling tired. I watch the movie half-heartedly as I start falling asleep with my head in my hand. I have myself propped up on my elbow hoping it'll help keep me awake.

Eventually my arm gets tired and I feel ready to break.

"Just lay down already," Alex gently pushes me down and sets my head on his lap, "You've jerked yourself awake three times now, you're going to get whiplash."

His lap is warm and the blankets are soft around me. It's hard fighting to stay awake.

I told him I would take the couch, I don't want to sleep next to him tonight. I wiggle myself to move and my body screams at me to stop. I need to get up but I feel like I'm swimming in glue.

I'm so tired. He's so warm. I can't stay awake, I don't want to.