12 Chapter 12

The bus stays fairly empty from the moment we board to when we're passing Tulsa and a few more people board for the home stretch to Oklahoma City. I don't remember most of the trip, as Alex and I slept for over half of it, Alex only woke up once when we stopped in Tulsa to use the bathroom.

I found it hard to sleep after we got back on the bus out of concern for Alex, I didn't realize how tired he was and how it would affect him. My mind kept reliving the Tulsa stop, trying to fully grasp what happened.

We had pulled to the stop and I had woken Alex up asking if he wanted anything from a vending machine or something.

"No I think I'm going to hop out and go to the bathroom though," He took only half a step before turning to me with half closed, sleepy eyes and saying, "Don't leave me here. I hate Tulsa, can't find anything decent to eat if it killed you."

His rants I had grown used to, we had to be picky about where we went on our little road trip to avoid the Devil because Alex had been almost everywhere in an effort to avoid his parents.

I climbed out of the bus and stood in front of the vending machine for a good five minutes questioning the age of their cookies. At that point Alex was stumbling out of the bathroom and almost fell over.

"Alex are you alright?" I call over as he steady's himself on the door frame and gives me a thumbs up.

I turned back around to find a guy leaning against the vending machine, he smiled as I jumped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just planning to wait here until you were done, anything look good?"

"Maybe back in 1977 when half this stuff was edible," I take a step back hoping for distance but instead get him standing next to me looking in the machine.

"That sucks, I really don't want to wait until getting into Oklahoma City, would have been nice to not starve. These trips suck."

He smiled at me and out of nowhere I felt my arm get yanked back. Alex was in front of me, all but shoving me behind him, glaring at this guy.

"Talk to her again, and I will knock out those pretty teeth of yours," his voice was low and menacing.

With one quick glance back at me the guy ran back to the bus.

Alex turned to me, clearly still tired, "You have to be careful. You never know who he has working for him."

"Alex we should get you back on the bus," I grab his shoulders gently but he shoves me off.

"No, I'm fine, I need to keep an eye on you," He rubbed the heel of his palm against his eye, his voice started slurring and getting quiet, "You're too special not to save."

"Alex?"

He sits down on the nearby bench, anyone around us would think him drunk, he laid his head on my shoulder and started mumbling, "Do you know how soft your skin is? And you're hair always smells so sweet, like raspberries and warm vanilla. Have to keep you safe, have to keep an eye on you... Eyes, sparkly..."

At that point my hands start sweating and my cheeks burn as I wrap my arm around his torso and start dragging him onto the bus where he ends up falling asleep on the window.

Now we're about half an hour outside of Oklahoma City and he's starting to stir beside me. If I'm lucky Alex won't remember or mention the Tulsa stop, if I'm lucky we'll get off the bus, find our hotel, and we'll just fall asleep... In separate beds.

"Are we there yet?" He groans as he stretched his arms above his head and watches as we pull to a stop.

His voice is still low and soft like it was when we stopped. I pull my arms close and hold my hands between my thighs, "Yeah, we're here. Do you want me to get the, uh, the bags?"

"No it's ok I can get them. I should be able to handle gathering the stuff, but if you could take this," He hesitantly hands me the same silver briefcase that he had the night this all started, I hadn't even noticed it lately.

I carefully take it from him and look down at my lap when he smiles at me, "Wait for me at the front of the bus, I'll get our stuff. Here I'll take your backpack," he gently stands and removes my bag from my shoulder.

His fingers gently glide over the curve of the base of my neck, causing me to shudder as goosebumps collect across my skin.

Sometimes I want to scream because his presence is the essence of mixed messages.

I rush off the bus with his briefcase and fight the burning sensation of curiosity begging me to open it and find out what exactly got me into this situation in the first place. It has a combination code to open it, it must be important to worry about and protect so much.

"Let's head out," I jump at his hand on my shoulder, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just still tired I guess, I've never traveled well," I brush my hair off my face and feel my hands shake.

He give me his little smirk of disbelief and I don't blame him, I wouldn't believe me either. He hands me my duffle bag and I carefully hand him the briefcase. I watch as his face darkened, almost as if he were disappointed to see the briefcase.

"What's in that thing?"

He doesn't look up, "A Mistake."

Reaching out to put my hand on his shoulder, he shoves himself away and lowers the case and walks off.

"Let's go, the hotel is a decent walk away," he yanks my bag away from me as he walks by and just leaves me standing there with my backpack like a dear in the headlights.

I chase after him, "Alex you don't have to carry everything, Alex. Alex!"

He keeps walking, and after a good block and a half of yelling his name and killing myself to chase him I grab and yank back his arm.

He drops everything, "God, what is the matter with you? Can we just get to the hotel and sleep? Like actually sleep?"

"Alex you slept the whole bus ride! You flipped out at the Tulsa stop, you seemed almost drunk, and you're so moody I don't know what eggshells I'm supposed to walk on or if you expect me to just levitate!"

"What are you talking about? When did I flip out? I slept maybe an hour that whole trip!"

He still has deep bags under his eyes, his whole body shook, his lips formed a tight line on his face. He seemed... Broken.

"Alex, do you really not remember?"

He shakes his head, "No. I really, really don't. I just want to lie down and sleep, so Jules, please can we go to the hotel?"

I pick up my duffle and adjust my backpack. He does the same and we start walking again.

He trips as we walk, and eventually I convince him to just call a cab. While an uber is more accessible, Alex didn't want to risk some 20-something year old who would have happily sold his soul for a PS4.

It smells like burnt fabric, cigarettes, spices, old shoes, and stale perfume. The driver doesn't speak except to ask us where we're going, but he often glances back at us.

Alex carefully drapes his arm over my shoulder and leans in close to my ear.

"Cab drivers are always like this, they're suspicious of anyone who would choose them over a nice, cushy Uber."

Alex stays close to me, I can feel his breath on my neck slow down.

"Alex?" I whisper as I gently shake him, he jerks a little and pulls away.

I listen to him apologize as he runs his hands over his eyes and into his hair. He slept the whole trip, he shouldn't be this tired. He keeps mumbling to himself about taxis until we get to the motel.

Alex gets us a room while I gather our stuff from the back of the taxi. Normally the front desk people are charmed by him, tonight they look like they can't wait to get him up to a room and away from them.

While I hold all of our stuff, I work my way over to him and take the room key before he drops it.

He reaches out for the bags, "Let me help," I pull the bags away, earning a tired but dirty look, "I'm not useless. Put me to work, I'll sleep like a baby."

I pucker my lips and narrow my eyes as I hand him his backpack and duffle. He throws them over his shoulder and hikes in the direction of our room.

I follow close behind and step up with the key to open the door. One bed, of course, but there is a nice big couch against the wall under the window. I think I'd rather sleep there tonight.

I drop my bags next to the bed and sit down on the couch, trying to decide if it's even comfortable enough to sleep on. I look over and see Alex laying back on the bed, almost asleep.

I quietly get up and head towards the bathroom with my soaps, hoping to soak and remove the disgusting layer of sweat and dirt I've accumulated since leaving Missouri. I watch the brown water roll past my stomach and down my legs. I think of the wet, dark alleyway Alex hid us in before we left. I think of the grassy patch behind the bus stop and how the wet grass clung to my legs. I think of Alex wrapping me in his jacket, the smell of him engulfing me.

I'm shaken from the thoughts to pounding on the bathroom door.

"Jules?" Alex isn't yelling but he is being loud, "Jules come on!"

I shut off the water and wrap myself in a towel. I yank open the door to see him getting ready to knock again.

I plaster on a very fake smile and try to hide my body behind the door, "Alex, what could you possibly need while I'm in the shower? Why are you trying to break down the door?"

He looks at me blankly, his eyes drooping like they had in Tulsa, "You need to tell me before you just take off like that, you have to tell me where you're going."

"What are you talking about, I was at most five feet away from you in the shower!"

His eyes dig into me, his expression blank, "Hurry up. I want to sleep."

I slam the door in his face and turn the water back on. I'm so mad that I make my scalp hurt when scrubbing my hair, I don't know what his problem is today but I feel ready to punch him.

I step out of the bathroom as I finish pulling down my shirt. I find Alex digging through his backpack.

"You get in bed, I need to do some stuff."

I look at him dumbfounded.

"Alex, next time you try to tell me what to do, you are in for a surprise," I let my voice drop as I try to stand my ground.

He marches up to me, his eyes look glossed over, like he's not really here. He doesn't say anything as he stands inches away from me. Instead, he wraps his arm around my waist, lifts me up, and tosses me on the bed. Hard.

I land on my wrist, causing it to make a small crack sound under my weight. Alex just stares at me, unfazed by the new fear and pain that I'm sure is spread over my face.

"Sleep," he walks to the door, "I'll be back in an hour."

He walks out, closing the door carefully behind him. How is he so gentle with a door but not with me?

I crawl under the blankets and cry until I fall asleep.