Itch

12:03 am

Now I'm soaked. This cold water. I still feel like I'm drowning. But yet I'm alive. How? My lungs are filled with water. My hand has lost all it's blood. Still I'm bleeding. My body. Soaked with water and blood. I'm crazy. Let me out! Let me scream! Why can't I? Itch.

What now? Is something crawling on me? No. Its just an itch. But no movement. It's useless. More agonizing than the water dripping onto my head. How is an unstoppable itch worse than drowning? Itch.

I have to scratch it. Please let me! Give me release. No more torture. I can't handle it. Will it ever end? Will I be living like this the rest of my life. Can't I just die now? Scratch.

Finally my body gave way. I can scratch my thigh. But it wont stop. This itch. This unstoppable itch. I know I'm scratching it. I feel it on my fingers and on my leg but it's like the itch is in my leg so far I cant reach it. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

Why can't I satisfy the itch? Will it never end? God why? Now it hurts. It hurts. Now stinging bad stinging. Like alcohol on an open wound. Scratch Scratch SCRATCH.

Suddenly I'm looking down at my leg. Five deep cuts along it. Some staggering and ripping through my flesh. I hadn't known I was scratching so hard why am I allowing myself to do this? Blood is squirting out. I must have hit an artery. Still no relief. The itch is only intensifying. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

I can see my flesh building up under my fingernails. Digging it out of my leg like a mole digging its home. Chunks of flesh dangling from the cuts. Some completely detached and laying on the ground in pools of my blood. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

This stinging is only getting worse. An infection waiting to happen. I can't stop myself. Why can't I stop. I can't go any further. I've dug my flesh out all the way to the bone. I can feel it but I cannot see it. As I try and scratch my bone more and more blood floods in the way. How is an itch this powerful I go all the way to the bone? Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

I can't handle the itch. I have caused so much damage to myself already. I keep digging out my own flesh. Now there's a huge gash where my leg used to be. Chunks of my skin and muscle on the ground. Blood covering my hand and body. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

Please make it stop. Soon I wont have anything there. There's a torn apart gash about as big as a fist. Enough flesh ripped out can clearly see my white bone through the blood. Now relief. The itch has stopped. Thank god. But now I cant help but be drawn to the excruciating pain in my thigh here half of my flesh has been torn out by my own hand.

12:04 am