4 Enter the Kitchen
After resting for what feels like a couple of hours, I finally decide to get up and resume the "Tutorial." That fight versus the Evil Chicken God took a lot out of me, and I needed to take a break before I could continue on the adventure.
I didn't just sit around doing nothing, though. I spent most of my time playing with the various tabs and screens on my menu. I learned that most things in my menu can be both influenced by my fingers and my voice. I can say "Attributes," and I will get an overview of my attributes, but I can move my finger to the area on the screen to do the same.
Near the top of the attributes screen, when I open it, I can see the filthy, blood and vomit-stained naked replica of myself along with a golden "0." Underneath the golden zero, it says "Level 1, Hero," and underneath that is my birth date, June 20, 2003.
Most of the things I see in the attributes tab mean jack squat to me, but some of the information gives me a clue about what I will be experiencing in the future.
First of all, the attributes tab is split into three sections, from what I can tell. I call the first section the "Base Attributes," as it does not have a title; the other two portions are called "Stats" and "Dungeons," both being split, and I can tab between the two just by touching them or saying their names.
When I view the "Dungeons" tab, I just see the words "completed," followed by empty space. Maybe once I complete some dungeons or something, it may start getting filled, but I'm not sure.
Now, the "Stats" tab is more interesting. It's split into four of its own sections named in this order: Statistics, Stat Bonuses, Enemy Bonuses, and Dungeon Bonuses.
The last three sections kind of confuse me as I can open up individual tabs within these sections. When I do so, a new screen shows up telling me I need to do something, and then there is a little +0. For example, when I open up the "Ability" tab within "Stat Bonuses," I can see a screen called "Ability Neophyte," and it tells me that I need to use my ability one hundred times with a horizontal bar underneath showing 0/100.
The only outlier is the tab called "Special," which shows the title "Ancestor" and tells me that I am the first of my family line and then an orange +20. This happens to correspond with some words on the bottom of my "Attributes Screen" that says "Stored Fame" with a 20 near that orange down-arrow symbol that I can also see near the top of my vision when I have "menu" toggled.
Also, the "Dungeon Bonuses" section is entirely blank, just like the dungeon tab.
The Statistics section shows me things, like how many kilometers I have walked or how many times I have teleported, and stuff like that. Oh yeah, apparently, I learned that I can teleport, kinda cool... I just don't know how.
The "Enemy Bonuses" section shows me the same things as the "Stat Bonuses," but different, like how many critters I have killed and how many I need to kill before it maxes, which by the way; I need to kill two hundred of. Surprisingly, I already have 16 critter kills, but I don't have any god kills, weird.
Besides the "Attributes Tab," there is also a tab called "Exaltations," and that one is even more confusing than the last. I can't even begin to explain the first part of it, as most things I can see just have a shadowy, elusive figure of something. Some of them look like bottles, while others look like 3 sided rectangles with curved tops.
---
Not long after the Chicken God had died, the path opened up to reveal another hallway. At the end of the hallway, I could see a breakable wall, but since I decided to rest first, I did not enter just in case there was another trap. Now that I'm up and feeling active, I walk down the hall towards the wall.
On the floor is new white words spelling, "Righteous!" Followed by "This is your equipment." There was a yellow arrow pointing towards what I had assumed to be my equipment section.
I sigh and say, "Yeah, as I expected."
Now at the wall, I pulverize it into pieces and pass into the next room. Entering the room, I see an 'inconspicuous' brown bag on a stone pedestal and some words explaining, "Grab the loot bag!"
You know, I'm not so sure that I want to, after what had just happened in the last room. Still, I brave through my fears and move to pick up the brown bag.
Grabbing the admittedly light, brown bag, I see a new section of grey tiles appear in my menu underneath what I think to be my inventory. Inside the grey tiles are "Plain Clothes" and a "Ring of Minor Defense." Both have a "T0" to the right of their names and a small description underneath.
I see two yellow arrows directing the clothes to the empty "Armor Slot, and the ring to the "Empty Accessory Slot." There are also new white words telling me to drag the clothes and ring to their slots.
Looking at the clothes, I read...
[Plain Clothes T0
Clothes: Is Applicable
A set of plain clothes gifted to newly summoned arrivals of the nexus.
On Equip: +1 Defense
Feed Power: 4]
And looking at the ring, I read...
[Ring of Minor Defense T0
Ring: Is Applicable
A silver ring that buzzes with a faint magical hum.
On Equip: +1 Defense
Feed Power: 4]
I move my finger onto the Plain Clothes and drag them into my armor slot like the words and arrow told me to. Suddenly, as soon as I release my finger from the screen, I feel clothes hug my body. Everything from my shoulders to my feet is covered in it.
I look down, only to see myself now wearing a plain white cloth shirt and light-brown cloth pants that stop before reaching my ankles. I am now also wearing sandals strapped to my feet. They look like some of those old roman sandals I would see in those documentaries about their gladiators.
The clothes magically appearing on my body surprised me, but I can't really say that I expected something else to happen. I also proceed to equip my ring and watch as it apparates on my middle finger.
The ring's description was not wrong: I can feel it slightly vibrating on my middle finger, but it doesn't produce any sound.
I look at my attributes, and I can see that I now have 2 defense. I can also see that the miniature figure of myself is now wearing clothes as well. My unkempt black hair perfectly accents the white shirt I'm wearing.
"Neato," I whisper out loud.
Now maybe I'll die less. I sadly joke to myself.
Now that I'm geared out, I proceed to kick through the next wall with my sandals. It's so much better with shoes: I don't have to feel the sensation of kicking stone with my bare feet.
I look into the next room to find a weird-looking doorway on a raised smooth-stone platform. There is also water surrounding the left and right sides of the room. The good 'ol magical white paint floor text also apparates in front of me, telling me to enter the portal. I walk onto the platform and look into the "portal," as it is called.
A new section shows up under my inventory, much like when I was holding the brown bag. It says "Exalted Kitchen," with a white "Enter" button underneath. I look behind me to find that the white words have disappeared. The path behind me is now also closed off by a wall trapping me in the room.
I guess I don't have much choice once again, leaving the only option I have; enter the kitchen.
"Enter"
My sight goes black, and I feel an uncomfortable sensation of me being dragged despite not feeling like I'm moving at all. I then see a message telling me, "Looking for others, 1/10."
I wait for what feels like minutes while looking at the '1/10' before seeing a new message. "Entering the Exalted Kitchen."
My vision comes back to me, and I now find myself standing in a room filled with stone. Stone floor; stone walls; stone ceiling; stone everything. I look around to see if I have anyone else with me, but I'm alone as far as I can tell.
There are multiple holding cells inside the walls, but they are empty as well. Much like the tutorial rooms, the room I'm standing in is bright enough to see in despite no visible light sources, not even a torch to decorate the walls.
Out of nowhere, I hear the loud voice of a man roar out, "Guards! Bring in another prisoner!"
It sounded like it came from somewhere in front of me, but the only thing I see in front of me would be more white text... speaking of which, it reads, "It's time to take on your first true minion of Oryx. This minion has been marked as your quest. You can identify the location of your current quest by a red arrow. Break through the wall ahead of you and show them what you're made of!"
"Hell Yeah! Let's Go!" I yell in continued enthusiasm. I have to keep myself hyped, after all. If not... I may die, and that wouldn't be any fun. Not fun at all.
I walk towards the wall directly ahead of me that I was told to destroy, and I kick it down. This wall was more difficult to break than the other walls in the "Tutorial" and required a couple extra kicks.
Looking past the now shattered walls, I see a hallway that leads to another room. I can't exactly make out what's in the room, but I think I see a table and... "Is that another chicken!" I blurt out quite loudly
A crash comes from the room, followed by footsteps walking towards the hall, a shadow of a humanoid figure growing on the walls in the room ahead. Once the figure reaches view, I see a man wearing chainmail covering his body, a brown belt, and a sword. He looks at me, all confused for a second before I think he realizes what he is looking at.
"Prisoner! What are you doing out of the cell!" He shouts his question.
He charges at me, drawing the sword and holding it in hand, giving me no time to respond. I freeze on the spot as I try to think about what to do. I slowly back up as he gets closer and closer.
Once he is in the room, I spurt out, "I'm not a prisoner. I don't even know where I am. Who are you? Where am I?" Putting my hands up in compliance.
He stops and tilts his head in thought for a second before raising his sword arm and yelling, "Wrong answer!"
He eagerly springs at me and swings his sword down, and I frantically leap out of the way. I almost lose my footing due to how spooked I am right now. My fight or flight response kicks in, and I suddenly bounce back and tackle him into the ground. Since there is no available option for flight, I can only fight!
In the ensuing chaos with me on top of the man, I take a couple swings at him as he tries to buckle me off his chest, all without success. I manage to wrestle his sword away before I try to smash his face with my fist, but he stops my strike and pushes me off him before I can get any other good punches in.
While I'm now sitting on the floor, I take a quick glance towards his health bar to see that he is missing about one-third of it. I quickly stand up and get ready to attack; I can feel what I think to be rugburn on my knees due to the earlier tackle.
I move to tackle him again as he gets up, but he is ready this time as he takes a swing right at my face with his fist once I get close enough. His chained fist lands on my left cheek; as a result, I'm slightly knocked to the side and open for continued assault. Since he is actually trained for combat, unlike me, he knows what to do with an exposed enemy and swiftly sends a barrage of fists my way as I try to defend myself the best I can.
He manages to land three good hits: two to my stomach back to back and a kick to my thigh right after he pushed me away. The blow to my thigh causes me to seize up in pain and fall to my knees. His heavy, armored boot caused me a world of hurt. I look to my health to see that I'm at 94/100 as he moves to grab the sword that fell out of his hands in the earlier grapple.
I struggle to stand back up, but I manage to do so, and I move to kick him. My kick lands on his side as he is distracted, draining another third of his health.
"Uuuf!" The man buckles up in pain.
Following up, I send a quick punch to his face as he starts to fall due to the kick. This last one depletes him of his remaining health. He falls over unconscious and explodes into the motes of light. His sword also does the same.
+1XP
[Lvl 1: 31/50]
I fall onto my butt, frazzled due to the encounter. My face and thigh feel bruised as I rest on the cold hard floor of the "Kitchen." There was no talking, no taunting, no boasting between us. Just two grown men, battling for their life. One being at an obviously unfair advantage, just looking at the health disparity between the two, and that one being me.
I don't know how much getting cut by one of those swords will hurt, so I think that I made the right call in that scuffle. If the guy had as much health as me, I would have been screwed. Despite telling myself this, I know all too well that knocking his sword away was a complete accident.
Since I have never been in a real fight my entire life, my nerves are skyrocketing through the roof right now. The closest thing I have had to a battle would be a brawl between my best friend, Hunter, and me, but we were nine, so it doesn't count! Though, he would probably beg to differ. We both left school that day bruised and bloody, and all because we couldn't agree who was 'it' in a game of tag... Fun times.
---
I stand back up once I no longer feel any pain in my face and thigh. Given how much time I spend resting between each bout, I think I regenerate about one health point every 20 seconds or so. I haven't actually counted, but after years of experience counting time, I can just kinda tell.
I proceed into the next room, cautiously this time. If I can avoid confrontation, that is for the best. Entering the room, I find the chicken I saw earlier, but there is a second as well, hanging out near the next hallway. I move to kick the first chicken for some easy experience, but once I kick it into the air, I notice that it did not fall unconscious; instead, it only lost one-third of its health, just like the man earlier. Since the chicken was hostile from the moment I entered, it storms at me once it reaches the ground along with the other chicken.
I just keep kicking at the chickens with my long legs. There is absolutely nothing they can do about it since they are so small. The first chicken I kicked attempts to run away with a limp, once losing two-thirds of its health.
The second chicken continues its pointless attack as I kick it a second time and send it flying. I then turn my sights back to the first.
I stomp at the first nearly-dead chicken, only for it to jump out of the way. It opens both of its wings wide as if trying to appear larger and more threatening while starring directly at me. Do you honestly think that that's going to work, little dude?
I rush forward towards the chicken and kick him like he is a stationary soccer ball. I watch him fly up and turn into motes of light while still airborne. A brown bag is dropped from the air and onto the floor, where the chicken was sent flying.
+1XP
[Lvl 1: 32/50]
I do the same for the second chicken once it starts to limp away, and this one drops a bag as well. I move to the second bag to find a red potion-looking thing inside the tiles to the bottom right. Moving my finger over it, I read...
[Health Potion
A potion that instantly restores health points.
+100 HP
Quick Slot Stack Limit: 6
Potion
Consumed with use
Feed Power: 5]
I see two tiles flashing yellow underneath what I still assume to be my inventory. I move the Health Potion over the first slot and release it. I watch the potion appear in the tile.
"Man, this would have been very helpful earlier!" I comment to myself. This one potion would have changed the entire course of the God Chicken fight. Why do I only get it now?
I move over to the second bag to find a blue potion called "Magic Potion." It does the same thing as the Health Potion, but instead of restoring health by one hundred, it restores magic by one hundred. I also move the magic potion to the second tile. I don't have much use for the magic potions, as I don't know how to use magic yet.
New words pop up on the floor telling me, "Never hesitate to use health and magic potions when you're in danger!" Thanks for the advice, and fuck you!
I take another look at the room, especially at the table. I see multiple different cages around the room, absolutely filled to the brim with live chickens. On the table are various cuts of poultry, what I'm gonna assume to be chicken and a simple kitchen knife. I move to grab the kitchen knife and see it appear in my weapon slot.
[Plain Kitchen Knife T0
Dagger: Is Applicable
Damage: 10-45
A plain kitchen knife made to cut and chop food.
Feed Power: 4]
Now that I have a weapon, I feel a lot more confident in my ability to defend myself against any of these guys who think that I'm an escaped prisoner. If worse comes to worst, I can always use the knife to kill if I have to.
There is nothing more to do in the room, so I turn my sights down the next hallway. I can see what appears like a line of cells, each filled with brown and white masses of what I think to be chickens. Walking into the hall, I pass chickens upon chickens. The sheer amount of chickens in this "Kitchen" is insane. I try to open one of the cells silently, but it doesn't budge. I can see a keyhole that could probably open them, but I don't have the key.
I continue down the hall, only to find another long stretch of it at the end, intersecting like a T. Filled with torches, cells, and chickens. Now at a crossroads, I decide to take a right and walk that way. No signs are directing me, so I guess I will need to explore to find the direction I need to go.
After I walk around a bit more, I come across another open room with multiple stone pillars supporting the ceiling. Entering, I find three different men wearing the same armor as the first guy. One has a sword; one has magical looking staff with a white rock on its tip; the last one is holding a bow. They each seem to hear my entrance and look in my direction.
I stop and say, "Hey guys... Nice kitchen, by the way; uh, you guys must keep this place mighty clean... Filled with chickens and all... I don't see any leakage or anything... Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm the... Kitchen Inspector, yeah, and I'm here to... Inspect the kitchen. If you guys wouldn't mind showing me towards the exit, I won't hesitate to put in a few good words about you guys to my boss..." Absolutely brilliant wordplay right there!
They turn to look at each other as if asking what to do before the guard holding the staff turns back to look at me. He raises his magic staff, pointing the white crystal end at me, and blasts two quick-moving, white energy bolts in my direction.
"Uh oh..." I say as I prepare to dodge.
