3 Chapter 3

Lara-Jean's POV

I'm not gay. I told myself as I dressed up. I couldn't be. Besides, I'm not even sure Covey is gay. Yeah, right. I felt angry at myself for how turned on I felt. At my body for responding the way it did. For feeling the way I did.

Placing my hand at either side of my dresser I inhaled deeply before walking out of the dorm. On entering the cafeteria I immediately caught sight of Covey, seated at a table surrounded by friends. Some of them I recognized from the party. I guessed it was better than being alone with Covey, especially after the events that had taken place a few minutes ago.

"Hey Lara Jean!"

I turned round coming face to face with Cameron.

"Hey," I said smiling genuinely at him. Cameron was in a number of my classes and we had become friends this past week.

"So um…" Cameron scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "I've got an extra ticket to see a movie tomorrow and I was thinking maybe you'd want to go with me?"

I stared at him blankly for a moment before realizing that he was asking me on a date.

Instantly my mind flew to Covey and I felt guilty. But why was I feeling guilty? He was a sweet guy asking me on a date and I'm not gay.

"Sure." I replied, flashing him a big smile before I could change my mind.

The smile was instantly mirrored on Cameron's face.

"Okay, I'd see you then." He mumbled, throwing me a cheeky wink.

I watched Cameron wave and walk away before I went back to getting my breakfast. Afterwards, I headed to the table Covey was seated on with her friends.

She was already staring at me as I approached and she had a weird look on her face, I couldn't quite place it.

"Hey LJ!" one of Covey's friends, Clary yelled as I approached beckoning me over to a free seat.

LJ? When had that happened?

I suddenly felt self conscious as all the other heads whipped to me. I felt odd, how Covey's little group of friends seemed to have taken me in. I kind of felt like a burden, like Covey was just being nice to me because she felt sorry for me.

"Hello." I mumbled to the group, keeping my eyes on my food.

"You must be starving." A lanky boy with brown hair said.

I wasn't really. I just pretended to be really engrossed in my food so they would stop bugging me. I squirmed under the pressure of their eyes staring at me.

Eventually they all went back to their conversation and I glanced up. Covey who was sitting across from me was staring intently at me. This girl and staring.

"What?" I asked.

I must admit, it came out a whole lot harsher than intended. I almost felt bad but remembered earlier this morning. I remembered her eyes lingering over me and the feel of her finger against my skin. For some reason, I felt even angrier.

Don't pretend like you didn't like it. A voice in my head said, which I ignored.

"Nothing Princess", Covey replied, amused nonetheless. I scowled but it just seemed to amuse her even more.

Lara-Jean's POV

"I hope you're not too scared of horror movies." Cameron said, turning into the parking lot.

"Nah, I actually really like them." I replied truthfully, turning to look at him.

"Well good, at least I have someone to cry on."

I giggled. Cameron was a pretty funny guy. I felt I was gonna enjoy this date. My mind flickered to Covey, I wondered if she liked horror movies. Wait, I was on a date with Cameron. Why on Earth was Covey even crossing my mind? I swallowed hard and turned my attention back to Cameron.

The movie went by pretty quickly, at some point Cameron reached over and held my hand. They were cold, nothing like Covey's which were warm.

It was getting dark when I finally arrived back at my dorm.

"Where have you been?"

That was the first thing I heard once I entered my room. Of course, it had come from Covey.

She was seated upright on her bed, watching me as I entered. I wondered how long she had been in that position.

Why did she even care? She wasn't my mum. I definitely was not going to let her act like she was.

"Out."I grumbled, refusing to even look at Covey.

"Where and with who?"

You've got to be kidding me.

I turned to look at her, her green eyes seemed angry and her arms were folded across her chest.

"Why do you care?" I asked.

She looked at me shocked that I had even asked that question, for once I seemed to have caught her off guard. I kind of felt bad.

"I was with my friend, we just went to watch a movie that's all." I murmured, diverting my eyes from her gaze.

She was silent for a while before standing from her bed and taking a few steps towards me, we were inches from each other at this point.

"I just want to know you're safe, that's all." Covey whispered.

I nodded my head, not trusting my voice, she was standing so close to me I could smell her. Unconsciously, I found myself leaning slightly forward.

"Do you want to get something to eat?"

I cleared my throat and clenched my hands at my side, trying to refocus. "Sure."

Covey and I ended up ordering takeout straight to our room. I sat down on my bed to eat, Covey surprised me when she sat right next to me. Probably closer than necessary. But I felt warm. Safe. Comfortable.

"So umm..what's with all the tattoos?" I blurted out then internally cringed.

I didn't know if that was a rude question to ask, but it definitely felt like it. Covey smiled to herself beside me.

"I use them to mark significant moments in my life." Covey replied, angling her head slightly so she was now smiling down at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You're gorgeous." Covey suddenly whispered.

And I was gone, my head spinning. I looked away from her, looked down at the food in my lap. Why did she make me feel like this? Why was my heart beating so fast. I'm not gay..

I'm not gay.