1 From the Pot, Into the Pit

Her screams of agony pierced the heavens. Blood broke forth from her left eye socket, spewing all over the old man's face.

– Haha, yes! Can you hear the sweet lullaby escaping your throat? It's the melody of a sinner, the chorus of repentance! Scream! Scream, so even your gods learn to know fear!

She fell to the ground. Her remaining vision became more and more blurry as the tears mixed up with her blood. Lost in the pain and terror, she used her remaining power to seek out her friend.

The last image she saw was the cultists grabbing his weak little body and readying for the torturous sacrifice. Then a curtain of blood engulfed her eyes…

– – –

The smoky smell of peach leaked into the hallway. Silence filled the empty room, only disturbed by a hush of soft footsteps, as the girl entered with a bowl of water in hand. She carefully approached the candlelit nightstand and put her offering below the image of an old woman. After drawing the curtains shut, she sat below the scrappy altar, trying her best to recreate a seiza posture.

– So… where should I begin? Sorry, Grandma. I tried to give you a proper memorial, even read some of your old books about proper Japanese manners! Not that it makes me less pathetic, but please, you have to understand! When you died, distant relatives started to show up, demanding their part of the heritage and before I knew it, all our money was gone! I had to sell our furniture, even my laptop and my manga collection just to cover the funeral expenses! And you know what's funny? Those so called 'relatives' demanding a part of the inheritance didn't even show up at the funeral!

She stopped, feeling her hands shake. Her nails were painted orange, the same color as her hair which unusually together with her light green eyes. Her nose was a bit smaller than average and had a small upturn at the end. It made her look smug when smiling. A snow white nightgown hung on her body, exposing her well-defined collarbone, which gave her otherwise fleshy chest a unique look.

– To be honest, I'm also guilty, looking at this offering. I could've bought you actual food or even your favorite wine, but please, hear me out! It's not that I'm not thankful for all you've done, especially after Mom died. I… kept something secret… from you.

The candles illuminated a single blue teardrop running down her puffy cheeks, falling onto the wooden floor.

– I'm such a disappointment! You told me not to become a chef. That was the only thing you ever asked! And do you remember that school we once talked about? That culinary school? It's rumored to be the best in the world with its insane requirements and high cost. Do you remember how hard I studied these last two years? I said it's because I want to study law. That was a lie! The only reason I worked so hard was to get into that school. Every single night, I dreamt about this for the last two years. And you know what's funny? I'm so stupid, such a pathetic loser, yet all my hard work paid off!

The tears of sadness mixed up with those of joy. She could hardly sit still from all her emotions collapsing onto each other.

– I'm starting tomorrow! My uniform came in the mail today and I still have to try it on. Hope it's not too tight, I've been stress eating a lot these last two months and got a bit plumpish. Not too much! Hey, don't you dare say a word! The last thing I need now is a ghost calling me fat.

She chuckled, trying to bring joy into an otherwise depressing reality.

– The landlord said I have to move out today. I don't have a job and the school costs a lot of money, so things are looking… let's just say not too bright. I'm still unsure where I'll sleep tonight. You know I don't have any friends, so crashing on someone's couch is out of the picture. But don't worry, Grandma! Even if my situation is pretty grim, it's not the end of the world! I'll find a way to survive. I always did. This conversation ends not the way I thought it will, but hey! Sooner or later, we'll meet again. Goodbye, Grandma.

Sinking her hand into the bowl of water, she put out the candles with her wet fingers, letting darkness consume the room.

– Oh yeah, probably shouldn't have put my hand in the offering…

A few minutes later she kicked open the front door and went out to the yard. Two orange buns decorated the top of her head, making her appear younger than a nineteen years old. A lukewarm breeze rushed through her forest green chef uniform.

– Weird, I remember these being black and long-sleeved. Looks pretty unorthodox, especially this weird pig face on the back. Well, whatever…

The fence was a tall brick wall, overgrown by flora. The outside was visible through the small iron gate leading there.

She was about to leave the front-yard, but stopped before stepping off the stairs. This is the last time she walks out of this place. She's been living here for more than a decade now. These final steps are special. With a determined smile, she raised her fist to the air.

– All right! Get ready, world! Up until now, this dweeb has been working tirelessly day and night to have the future she wants! I still have a long and bumpy road ahead of me, but at the end I'll finish with a smile on my face! For you remember the name, the name of the greatest chef that ever lived…

She rushed out to the street, jumping up in the air and joyfully shouting.

– Momo Katsumi!

Smashed by a truck rushing with 60km/h, her bones shattered as she got blown through the rear windshield of a car. The driver kicked the brake and got out as soon the vehicle stopped. He rushed to the girl's body.

– Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Please don't die! Can you her me?

Her two legs were hanging out of the broken window. One of them twitched.

– Thank god! Let me pull you out, then I'll call an ambulance!

Something held her back, not allowing the truck driver to pull.

– Just a second, honey! I might be a bit old, but that doesn't mean I can't…

As the mysterious force let go, he fell on his back hugging a severed leg. He screamed in horror, throwing it away and rushing back into his truck.

'She's beyond saving, so why should I care? If I call the ambulance now, they might put me in jail! I don't want to go to prison! I'm sorry gal, but this is the best for both of us'. With his final thoughts, he stomped the gas and rushed away, leaving the girl to die.

– Huh? – Katsumi recoiled as she landed from her jump. – What happened? Did something hit me?

She looked up to see her surroundings changed. A black sky with colorful flashes illuminating its emptiness. A cobbled road, just a few steps away from a jump leading into nothingness. Islands of withering wheat fields and ruined mills floating in the distance. This wasn't home.

– I was just about to get hit by a truck! But how did I survive and what is this place? Am I in the afterlife?

A gargantuan castle made of purple marble towered above her. The style of the building made her remember a baroque church, only it was four the size. A pig shaped knocker hung on the front door. She grabbed it.

– Hello? – her banging echoed through the abyss. – Is anyone home?

The gates creaked, sluggishly revealing a large green hall. A broken chandelier hanged from the ceiling, some of its candles emitting a faint light. Not that it mattered much, as the concept of light and darkness seemed to not exist in this realm. Even if it did, the walls were empty with only a few unrecognizable shapes carved into them.

On the floor lay a shaggy rug, spreading from one end of the hall to the other. A short figure stood there, wearing a grey peruke and blue uniform. A glass of wine was in his hand. He wasn't moving.

– Excuse me, sir! Sorry to bother you, but I'm kind of lost here and I…

She put a hand on the person's shoulder and saw it had the head of a festering pig, it's eyes looking deep down her soul. Startled by such horrendous sight, she took a step back and screamed, making the green walls shake from the resonance.

– Looks like I've won a bet. Boy oh boy, I'll enjoy tonight's cake.

– What? Who are you?

– Not a foe you have to worry about. Follow me.

She wanted to run away, but the storming abyss blocked her path. The only way was forward. Mustering up courage, she followed the creature.

On the other side of the hall was a stairway. As Katsumi started climbing it, she felt as if each step brought her further from the top.

– You're a very lucky girl, Miss Katsumi. It's not common Master invites someone.

– You know who I am?

– Yes. We've been expecting you for quite a while now.

She looked back to observe how high she was and felt a sudden dizziness. The hall behind her got even bigger than it was before. She felt like an ant in the world of elephants.

– Hey uh, where are we going?

– To the feast! We're celebrating your arrival.

– I'm… Am I dreaming? I have lucid dreams pretty often, but this feels more real than usual.

– I can assure you, Miss Katsumi, everything you've witnessed today is reality. Act according to that.

Her psyche was quite overwhelmed by the sudden change of space and tone. Not five minutes have passed since she walked out of the house and now she was… well… god knows where. It also didn't help, that she spaced out and suddenly found herself on top of the stairs, as if she just teleported.

The swine noticed her body trembling and approached Katsumi. He grabbed the girls hand.

– Drink up. – the swine offered his wine.

– N-No, thanks. I'm not in the mood right now. – her voice trembled as she began to break down.

– Master said I have to give this to you before we enter the dining area. It's not just an ordinary wine. Master made it. This will ease your soul.

Having no real influence over the situation's outcome, she firmly grasped the wine glass. The colors of rainbow glinted back at her, as the alcohol tirelessly changed its hue. She took a pull, drinking it up in one go. Was it good? That would be an understatement. The wine had the flavor of every existing fruit and she felt all of them pulsating on different parts of her tongue.

– This shit is good! What brand?

– Only Master know. They made it.

– They?

– Come now, the others are waiting for us.

The world around her changed to a friendlier form. The carvings on the walls became beautiful art and the colors outside calmed down. The wine she drank was magical in every sense.

The swine opened the huge door blocking their path, revealing the dining room. Hog-like humanoids sat there across a long table, spanning from one end of the room to the other. They were feasting upon gorgeous meals, chicken and turkey, eggs and vegetables, everything one could ask for. Little beastlike waiters rushed between the guests, bringing them food on silver plates, then rushing back to the kitchen for more.

Seeing her arrival, these monstrous creatures shrieked, banging on the table to make as much noise as they can.

– Uh, hi! My name is Momo Katsumi! I just got hit by a truck!

– Feel free to sit down. – the helpful swine brought her a chair. – They won't bite. They can't bite.

– Okay, thank you!

Even if the guests were half human and half pig, they clearly enjoyed the feast. Bard played happy tunes in one end of the room, while the guests had loud conversations about politics and women. Even the festering and decaying of their bodies was not enough to stop them from having fun.

Katsumi felt euphoric. She knew it was wrong, especially with how unsure her situation was. Still, she couldn't help herself from smiling.

– There you go, mam.

One of the waiters offered her a steaming hot chicken soup. She took a spoonful and put it in her mouth, keeping it there for a while to fully inspect the taste.

– Mam, what do you think?

– Well, it needs a bit more salt, but...

As she uttered those words, the room went frenzy, every guest chanting the same words over and over again.

– She is the one! She is the one! She is the one!

– Jeez guys, you don't have to be a genius to tell when a soup needs more salt.

– So you really are the one.

– Huh, who said that?

On the other end of the table was a bird cage, bearing the head of a swine.

– You've proven yourself worthy to see my true form!

The cage rose as a green cape swirled and peeled into existence, taking the shape of a fat waterdrop, vibrating like a slapped pudding slowly achieving a still posture. Four purplish arms reached out of its back, each thin as a stick but long as a pole, the nails on their lengthy fingers the form of sharp black cones. Pulling the cape aside it revealed a human torso, though entirely made out of one big mouth with sharp teeth in the thousands. It looked more like the mouth of a shark, except way worse, way scarier.

– My name is E! I'm the past god of gluttony and gourmandism. Bow before me!

– Your name is like that rock band's!

– What?

– Do I talk to the pig or the big mouth?

– I uh… the pig. You talk to the pig.

– Cool! Listen dude, I really liked your wine, are there any left?

– Are you drunk? The potion I made for you was low alcohol!

– Listen man, I'm not used to drinking. See? I have to build up my tolerance!

Putting all effort into that last 'e' and not into keeping her balance, she fell from the chair. A purple aura appeared around her and stopped the fall. Swiftly, she got pulled back to her chair, getting sobered up as the aura disappeared.

– Am I in trouble?

The creature sighed, putting one of their hands on the cage.

– No. Even the greatest humans have their flaws.

– I was just about to get hit by a truck, when I appeared here. Were you the one to save me?

– Yes. I used all my energy to reach into your dimension and pulled away your soul in the moment of impact.

– Wait, so I'm dead?

– Your body? Yes. Your soul? No.

She leaned back in the chair, her vigor disappearing.

– To be honest, I was expecting this. Still, it feels pretty crap.

– It's only natural. Losing a body is not something any soul should survive. Such experience can have a lasting effect, corrupting, twisting and turning a person's very core. Some cannot recover from such tragedy and rather kill themselves. Mortal souls have a special relationship with the body they get. Makes you think, huh? Can't do that on an empty stomach!

One of their arms grabbed an oven-roasted turkey and threw it into the huge mouth, tearing the meat apart with just two chews then swallowing it in its entirety.

– So – Esidezhu continued –, to talk about something happier, how's family?

– This is why you invited me, right? Because you know about our past?

– Clever girl.

– Why thank you, I feel humbled. – her words carried the bitter taste irony. – Might I ask if you sent the truck?

– No, that was plain old fate. Even I was not ready for that. Not like it hinders us in any meaningful way.

– Let's cut the crap then and get to the point, Mister Esidesi!

– Thousands of years ago one of your ancestors was bought on the slave market by a wealthy family. He was a very sick man, suffering from diseases which made him underperform with physical tasks. To not get sold again, he sneaked into the kitchen every night and practiced its arts. Your ancestor developed such skill, his very owner freed him so he might work as full-time cook. That's the story of your family's first chef.

– Grandma always used to tell stories about how our ancestors were cooking for kings and emperors. She said we only raised chefs and the best of them. It was because chefs stood at the ruler's palace during war or something. She said none of our ancestors had to fight, like, ever.

– And her words were indeed true. You have talent running through your veins, crafted through millenniums of professionalism.

– Once again, thank you for the compliment, but I have to disappoint you. Our tradition of only raising chefs ended with me. I was never taught how to cook. I mean, I was going to get taught, but then the truck came and you know the rest.

– Nonetheless, being the last of your bloodline means you have the most potential running in blood. Also, you have a very special dream if I'm correct. – Esidezhu took a sip of their wine.

– Well yeah, but it's silly… I just want to be a chef… a really good chef…

– The best.

– Exactly! – her eyes glittered up. – That's all I want, it's my purpose in life! I might have a long way ahead of me, but I want to be the greatest chef that ever lived! I'm going to work my ass off and probably cry a lot in the process, but with enough determination I can make! No, I'm sure I'll make it!

– That's it! That's what I like to hear! – Esidezhu clapped, their sheer power thundering through the room.

– You brought me into this world for that? To give me a second chance? – she stood up, smashing her fist down on the table. – I accept your offer! I know exactly what you want, but please, say it out loud! It would be so cool to hear from a god!

– Fine, then let it be! – they also stood up. – Momo Katsumi!

– Yes!

– I, Esidezhu, the fallen god of gluttony chose you for this world…

– Aha!

– So you might become…

– The best chef I can be!

– The best warrior you can be!

– Yes! Wait… what?