17 It's Always Sunny in Dewhurst

The Guild is only a couple of minutes away from the village proper, so it doesn't take long for me and the Boss to make it. I'm currently taking in the sights like a vapid tourist- I headed straight to the guild the other day when I arrived so I didn't get a real good look at the place.

I'm trying not to sound like a spoiled little brat when I say this, but... Gods this place is a fucking mess. Not only did the Guild fit in aesthetically with the rest of the town, it was actually one of the best kept buildings in the whole village!

Is... is this normal? Surely peasant villages don't look like this all the time, do they? I've spent most of my life in the kingdom's capital, Imperalis, so my frame of reference is really fucking narrow but... wow. Most of them looked like tragic peasant accidents just waiting to happen!

"What in the name of fuck happened to this place...?" Wide-eyed, I can't help but take in all of the objective shittiness on display.

"There comes a certain danger when a kingdom, a city, or a village relies on a single, solitary source of income. In my grandpa's day and in his grandpa's before that, Dewhurst was a thriving hub of adventurers who came from the world over to settle in and make this their base. Then he died and I fucked it all up." The boss gives me a somber smile, and for a moment I struggle with the urge to slap him silly across the face. Was he not learning anything?!

"The fuck, Boss. It's not like you killed him or anything."

He returns my innocent statement with the most lifeless, solemn and defeated face I've ever seen someone make. He looks like one of those creepy ass statues of people punishing themselves to win forgiveness from the gods.

"Uh... ok, well then. Putting that aside for now... Boss, you can't seriously blame yourself for..." I point my hand at the various atrocities of this gods-forsaken village. There are dirty peasant children eating gravel. The town whore is brazenly smoking several glowing blue shards of mana crystals from a glass pipe that was just handed to her by her pimp. Last but not least, off in the distance a single wooden building was on fire yet no one seems to be worried about it. The fire was also green, for whatever fucking reason. "For all of THIS, can you? Fuck, what about that catboy twink over there? Are you responsible for him, too?"

Boss looks to the nearby diminutive catboy who happens to be wearing nothing but fishnets. The boy has pink cat ears and a soft, fluffy pink tail, and is explaining loudly to anyone who will listen about the evils of taxation. His thingy is also very small. Not like Boss's in the slightest.

"Well, maybe not all of it." Boss waves to the naked kitty femboi who friendly waves back with his gay little kitty paws and a friendly, if suggestive, 'nyaa'. "Milly is kind of his own thing, he's nice though."

I stare back at the Boss, wondering what his relationship to this feminine tomcat really was, but before my mind wanders too far he cuts in.

"As for the rest of the town, well, the first step in fixing a problem is admitting your part in it. My grandpa, he was the moral pillar of this town, and he-" Behind Boss's glasses I can see that some deep realization just hit him. "Oh. Oh, I see. No, that makes a lot more sense now that I think about it."

He's... um... not doing so good and a nervous sweat breaks out from his forehead. I'm gonna have to pry about the grandpa shit eventually- but not today. This Princess ain't stupid enough to unpack that all at once. I feel bad for Boss, but it also kinda makes me happy knowing we both have some sort of deep seated paternal issues going on.

There's probably a deeper reason he blames himself for the town beyond just failing with the Guild, and it makes me start thinking about my approach when it comes to motivating him. Boss needs to stand up for himself and take action, but I can't just give in to the temptation to slap him all the time and yell GET A GRIP. Ugh, I'm in over my fuckin' head here.

We're silent for a while as we walk the dirty roads of Dewhurst, passing all sorts of seedy people the likes of which... no, yeah, I've literally seen that guy over there back home in the castle dungeons before. That guy right there with the sleazy, rodent like eyes and the... the giant, misspelled 'RAEP' tattoo on his forehead. Did we really let that guy go free?

What the fuck is wrong with this shithole?!

Thankfully, I have Daddy to cling to when it all starts to get to be too much- I mean, Boss! I'm not SCARED or anything, but holy fuck this is a lot for a sheltered teen Princess to take in.

"We're almost there. No reason to be alarmed, I guarantee you no one in this village is a threat to someone of your raw strength. Besides. Everyone hates me so there's no way anyone would even want to speak to an associate of mine."

Boss keeps saying these depressing ass things without a hint of sarcasm. He spits 'em out as if they were universal truths like 'water is wet' or 'guys with RAEP tattooed on their forehead probably ain't up to much good'. It's depressing and I hate it.

I look up at him with... fuck, with tiny tears in my eyes apparently. I guess I'm slightly crying now, but I'm not sad. I'm angry that this is his life. I'm determined to make it better- determined to make HIM make it better. He smiles at me, thankful for my feelings I think.

"We're almost there. Cheer up, Sam, you'll get used to Dewhurst in no time." Finally. A trace of playfulness in his voice, it makes me feel better at least. "Just need you to promise me one thing, Sam."

"Huh?" I tense up worriedly. He's kinda serious looking right now.

"No matter what happens inside, I need you to stay quiet and... don't get mad and destroy shit."

"...What the fuck are you expecting to happen in there? Aren't we just visiting the village chief to pick up the Guild's fee?"

Boss looks at me gravely. "I'm expecting you to lose your temper."

BOY was that an understatement.