11. Crying rivers for different reasons

Going back to the Lan family was a big thing for her. She never met her own family members so when she came and gave them bows they just looked at her calmly.

''Welcome back. Stop bowing to all of us. Raise your head and let us look at you.'' Elder stopped her doing all the bows and she sighed and rose her head, still on her knees.

''Lan Lian, what happened to you?'' He could see completely different Lan Lian then he remembered.

''Five years of slavery, loss of a mother and family members, torture, poison, memory loss, Elder can choose whatever you want...'' She just calmly lowered her head as she spoke about it.

At first, there was a heavy silence as the way she spoke was quite rude, but they knew somehow that she spoke the truth, they all have been through similar situations. But her change...

''Explain. First, stand up and sit on a chair, the floor is ice cold and it's not good to get sick.'' He pointed ta the chair and waited for her to sit down and start speaking.

Lan Lian sighed. ''I got hurt. I have no idea how and when. The only things I know is bits and pieces that others told me.''

She looked at his pained face and then lowered her eyes. She knew they cared about this child. But at that time they were unable to help. She had no bad feelings towards the people.

''I heart I got hit many times and I was poisoned as wwell. No idea who and why. I even lost my voice and couldn't speak for a few months. Luckily Wang Ye saved me and Wen Guifei did her best to heal me as much she could. But my memories, I never told any of them that I lost them, as I feared that somebody might use that against me or the Lan family. So I just lived quietly and tried to stay out the trouble. Now that I have been sent away again, who knows will I ever see any of you again? There is something I would like to ask you for.'' Her eyes became dark as she spoke more and more.

''Speak, we will do our best...'' They really planned to help her anyway.

''Instead of my dowry...'' She knew already that they planned to give her large dowry so she had to speak about that. ''... no matter how much you can afford, I don't want it. I want something else, if possible.''

They never expected this. Elder Lan rose his hand to stop them from talking as they started commenting her words. ''What do you want?'' But what she asked about would never have crossed their minds.

''Food.'' Her simple answer was something they really didn't expect.

''As I hear Commander Xi has some money and you will not be hungry. Why food?'' Her oldest uncle looked at her while wondering.

''I never said it is for me.'' She could see their shocked expression.

''Let me explain. The north this year had really bad rain season and all the food and many animals died. I fear that there will be even bigger problems. Like sicknesses and hunger. Wearing all those adornments... I can't. I learned what hunger is and thinking that I go with carriage filled with precious things to wear, makes me feel uncomfortable. I just can't.'' She shook her head as she spoke and suddenly light chuckle could be heard.

Who is laughing and why? Then she heard the second laugh and then third... She rose her head and saw the whole family looking at her with warm eyes and some even tears inside. What is it now?

''Truly Lan descendant. Yes, you are indeed our blood. Those thoughts, I am glad you have. Your father will be proud of you. We already wanted to talk with you about it. We wanted to use half of the dowry to do so, but you ask for the whole dowry. We can't let you go up to him completely empty-handed.'' He shook his head.

''Grandfather...'' She started coughing and one of the servants rushed to give her some warm water. When her coughing stopped she closed her eyes and patted her chest until it cough was gone again. Looking at them again, she could see their shocked expressions. ''Don't worry, this is a reaction on that poison. I am good now. This cough is because of the heat and talking too much. I am not used to.''

She patted one more time her chest and continued. ''Then warm clothes. For me and him and his closest servants. Warm shoes and hats. Gloves. I think that is at the moment more important than trinkets. And under the hat, I won't be able to wear those silly things anyway. Clothes, warm down beddings as well. I like warm down beddings. What else... That is it. I do not need a lot. Some food, warm place to stay and peace."

Listening to her words, some of the female members shook their heads but then made the decision to sneak a small box of adornments into her carriage. They sneakily smiled at each other and Lan Lian caught them but she stayed still, she can still use those things in case of need.

Going to the rooms that belonged to Lan Lian she felt strange. Not recognising even one thing, she just looked around and then at her two aunts that stared at her with big eyes. What now?

''Commander Xi... We got all information about him. But we are not sure should you be happy or sad about it.'' The gave her paper scroll and when she started readings he almost started laughing.

He went as a young child to the army and rose in ranks slowly, bit by bit. He went to many fights and was never longer than a few months at one place. But what made her laugh is an assumption he liked the men. She was not laughing about the fact that he did it, than about the comical expressions of her aunts as they were worried about her.

So what if he liked them. In her past world, she saw many people living together. The body is not important than the soul that connects it. But she never found anyone as she was sick for a very very long time. Somehow she felt good. Like that she doesn't have to worry about jealousy and other women.

As they tried to comfort her, the tears she tried to keep while suppressing a laugh started falling down and her face became red. One of her aunts swept her into her arms and started really crying while the other really tried to comfort both.

Wow, these people are really warmer than she expected and so down to the earth. Looking at simple arrangments in her room she knew they were not wasteful but at the same time not stingy or something. But now she stopped crying and tried to clam down now both aunts that were running tears like a flooding river.

It took her some time to stop them crying. And when they left they still had red eyes while Lan Lian just wanted to wash up and sleep. She felt so tired. So tiered.

That night strange black figure appeared in her room and looked at her for a while before disappearing again...