197 Grown Up

"How old is the young miss?"

"Why does that matter?" Bai Han looked at the physician with crossed arms.

"It's just a question." The physician answered plainly.

Bai Han frowned before answering, "Fifteen."

The doctor hummed thoughtfully and glanced at the girl on the bed.

"It would appear the young miss is experiencing a [1] woman's monthly water. A little late for her age, but it's not uncommon."

A little confused by his words, Bai Han's brows furrowed into a deep frown. The physician was patient and calmly explained.

"When a girl reaches her fourteenth year she begins to menstruate and is able to become pregnant. In your granddaughter's case, it's fifteen."

"Menst---pregnant?!" Bai Han nearly choked.

His expression appeared a little unsightly after hearing the physician's words. Paying no heed to the odd expression on his face, the physician continued explaining.

"During this period she should not drink or eat cold food or have contact with cold water. These things can impair the flow of blood and may even stop it, causing her to suffer severe lower pain. Also, avoid sour and salty foods."

When he finished explaining this to Bai Han, he turned toward Rin, who appeared rather flustered by the situation.

"This should only last four to five days but in the meantime, I will provide you with a brown sugar and ginger drink to relieve the pain."

Hearing the physician's words, Rin recovered from her embarrassment and cleared her throat.

"Thank you."

The physician nodded and turned to the red-faced Bai Han.

"Remember my words; no cold food, drinks, or water."

Still a little dazed from his words, Bai Han absentmindedly nodded his head. The physician sighed a little then turned to leave the room. Before stepping out, he paused and turned to the two.

"By the way, congratulations young miss on becoming a woman."

Heeding those words, Bai Han's entire body stiffened. The physician gave out an amused chuckle before leaving. When the physician left the room, both went silent.

Glancing up, Rin saw her grandfather look a little dazed as if thinking deeply about something. When she lowered her gaze, she heard him suddenly speak.

"Does it hurt anywhere?"

Rin shook her head. "No. I feel much better now."

"That's good." Bai Han nodded his head and glanced down at his joined hands.

Rin smiled softly, maintaining her eyes on the folded hands on her lap. Currently, they were in her bedroom, Bai Han sitting beside her bed on a wooden chair. Rin was lost in her own thoughts when the faint voice of her grandfather brought her back to focus.

"…I'm sorry."

Her eyes lit up with surprise.

"Grandfather, this wasn't your fault." Rin's voice held confusion, while her eyes lifted to meet Bai Han's.

He shook his head. "It was. No matter how much you say it wasn't, you can't deny my words didn't cause you more stress. I'm sure you were already hurt enough over the fact that you had to make such a decision. For me to pester you about it, I apologize."

In silence, Rin listened to her grandfather while gazing at his deep, silver eyes – filled with guilt and anxiousness.

"I was scared. I'm still scared." Bai Han admitted - his eyes set on his wrinkled hands. "When you were little, I always saw you stronger than others your age. I even treated you as one of my own men. But ever since that winter when you were a little girl…I realized how wrong I was. I started seeing how fragile you were, that I never saw you as a growing person."

While Rin was startled, Bai Han raised his eyes back to her and smiled softly.

"I've come to realize now you're no longer a little girl…but a woman." He sighed heavily. "So, if you want to avenge your mother, all I ask is you don't forget us and will stay safe."

"Grandfather…" Rin's voice cracked with emotion, her eyes glistening.

At that moment, tears flowed down her cheeks. She averted her eyes, refusing to look at her grandfather while wiping away at her cheeks.

"I'm sorry…" Her voice was faint.

Watching the girl cry on the bed as if she were a pitiful child resurfaced various memories. Bai Han smiled, and he patted her head softly.

"Silly girl, I just called you a woman, now you're crying like a child."

Rin elevated her head and blinked her round eyes at her grandfather.

"Does being a woman mean I can't cry?"

Bai Han choked. He gently knocked his fingers against her forehead and huffed.

"Little brat, don't twist my words."

"This foolish granddaughter wouldn't dare."

The two fell silent before they burst into open laughter. Rin raised her head when she felt her grandfather's fingers wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"When the time comes and you want to cry, do it. There's nothing more grown-up about allowing yourself to cry when you need it most." He said with a grin.

Rin smiled and nodded her head. "I understand. I will take grandfather's words to heart."

Bai Han couldn't help but smile back and pat the girl's hands rested on her lap.

"Rest. I'll inform the kitchen and the servants to avoid cold food and drinks from now on."

Nodding her head, Rin watched as her grandfather left the room. She sighed and leaned her head against her pillow. Looking up at the ceiling, she giggled.

She didn't dare tell her grandfather she became a woman months ago.

…

"An Sun, wait a moment!" A delicate and soft voice called out to the young man walking ahead of her.

An Sun didn't pay any heed to the girl's voice and continued to walk down the halls – his footsteps quickening. When it was apparent he wouldn't slow down, Yun Suyin's eyes flashed with grievousness, but still filled with resolution.

"An Sun, please let me apologize!"

With a frown, An Sun stopped in his tracks. His cold eyes swept over her frail body, causing her to shiver. But remembering her purpose, she straightened herself up and hurried quickly toward him.

A little out of breath, she said: "An Sun…I..."

"I don't care about your apology. All I want is for you to stay away from me." His cold, gray eyes told her he had enough of her.

After what happened before, he was thoroughly irritated and displeased with her presence. Yun Suyin froze at his words and quickly withdrew her gaze. Before she overlooked his coldness toward her. Yet ever since that day in the bath, she realized how dangerous this man truly was.

If it came down to it, he wouldn't hesitate to kill her.

This thought frightened her, but not enough for her to completely hate him. Perhaps it was because she still felt affection toward him.

"Even so…I still want to apologize to you. Before my actions were…"

"Like a desperate woman with no self-respect?" An Sun mocked coldly with folded arms.

Yun Suyin flinched. She looked up at him with watery eyes. A lost and hurt expression reflected on her beautiful face, but she still swallowed her feelings to convey her sincere intentions.

"I-I'm sorry…" Yun Suyin hadn't realized until she spoke that she was trembling. "I know now that my actions were beyond the acts of a proper lady…and I'm sorry."

Seeing the girl's body tremble as she tried her best to express her words, An Sun's expression remained unchanged. Instead, it dropped a few degrees.

"Your apology, I do not accept. However, let this be a lesson to you the next time you carelessly throw your body at someone like some cheap whore."

Tears fell down her face as Yun Suyin trembled in embarrassment. She wished nothing more than to bury herself in a hole to cry in.

Done with the sight of her tears, An Sun lazily moved his gaze and turned to walk away. Seeing he was leaving, Yun Suyin gave her last bit of strength to speak.

"I-I will return to my home. But I must know if I hadn't done what I did…would there by any chance be any room for me in your heart? From the beginning, An Sun, my feelings for you have always been true."

An Sun paused to her words. It was only after a few moments of silence that he said without turning his head:

"Whether your feelings are sincere and you hadn't thrown away your self-worth…if you were the last woman in this entire country, I would not hold you in my heart nor want you by my side."

With those parting words, An Sun left, not seeing the sight of the girl collapsing to her knees and crying into her hands.

___

[1] woman's monthly water - Nu-jen yueh-shui (woman's monthly water), yueh hsin (monthly message), and yueh-ching (regularly monthly occurrence), are the most commonly used phrases to describe a woman's menstrual cycle.

Fun fact: For this chapter I did a lot of research on woman's menstrual cycle in Ancient China and for starters, I did not know they were looked so down upon, even in other cultures. Two, it is true that cold foods and drinks do worsen period cramps. So ladies...you know what to do with this information.