3 What The Heart Wants

The castle's grandeur loomed around them as Selene and Andreas made their way back through dimly lit corridors to her chambers. The air between them crackled with unspoken words, heavy with the unsaid. Andreas, usually composed and stoic, was anything but as he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Princess," he began, his voice softer than usual, "I want to apologize for earlier. I should've been more careful in ensuring your safety."

Selene glanced at him, her eyes holding a flicker of amusement. "Oh, don't worry, Andreas. I've survived my fair share of embarrassment. I appreciate your concern, though."

Andreas shifted on his feet, his eyes briefly darting away. "It's just that... your friend, Sameer. I didn't realize you both were so close."

Selene arched an eyebrow, her lips curving into a snarky smile. "Jealous, are we?" she teased, her tone light, yet laced with an undercurrent of challenge with a hint of jest.

Andreas blinked, caught off guard by her remark. "I... I'm not jealous, Princess. I simply thought it was unwise to venture into the forest alone, especially with the prince's arrival being so close."

"Ah, so you're concerned for my safety then?" Selene tilted her head, her blue eyes dancing with mischief.

Andreas hesitated before nodding, his jaw clenching unnoticeably. "Yes, of course I am. You are my priority."

Selene sighed, her tone turning more serious. "Andreas, you've been my guard for years. I know you worry about me. But take it easy on yourself, OK? Besides, Sameer and I have been friends for a long time. There's nothing more to it."

Andreas nodded, though the shadow of doubt still lingered in his eyes. He swallowed hard, trying to banish the thoughts that plagued his mind. "I understand, Princess."

Selene turned to face him as they reached her chamber, her gaze softening. "Andreas, thank you for always looking out for me."

Andreas nodded again, his expression conflicted as he fought the urge to hold her in his arms. He knew she was going through a lot but for the first time since he was assigned to her, he could do nothing to help her situation. "I'll always be here for you, Selene, no matter what."

Selene placed a hand on his arm, her touch gentle but his heart erratic. "I know you will, dear."

Andreas managed a small smile, his unease momentarily forgotten. "I have no doubt about that, Princess. Just promise me you won't go wandering off alone again, especially now."

Selene rolled her eyes playfully. "Fine, fine. I promise I won't go on any more adventures without my trusty escort by my side."

Andreas's lips twitched with a hint of a smile, his eyes softening. "Good. Now, get some rest. The prince will be here in two days, and we'll need all the energy we can muster."

With that, Selene entered her chamber, leaving Andreas in the hallway, his thoughts a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. As he walked away, he couldn't shake the gnawing feeling of jealousy that had taken root within him.

The fast-approaching arrival of Prince Kang-Dae weighed heavily on his heart, and he couldn't deny the pain that came with the realization that Selene, the woman he had secretly admired for so long, was slipping further away from him.

Alone in her chamber, Selene felt the weight of her impending future settle upon her like an oppressive boulder on her shoulder.

She gazed at the dirt-covered pink gown strewn carelessly across the floor, her thoughts drifting to the forest, where Sameer had appeared unexpectedly, and Andreas had shielded her in the moonlight.

It was not the first time that he had been her protector, a constant shadow at her side, shielding her from dangers seen and unseen with his large frame and unwavering loyalty. 

A sigh escaped her lips as she ran a hand through her long white hair, contemplating the thorny shackles of tradition, responsibility, and her own suppressed desires. Her heart, so often veiled in the guise of a determined princess, ached with a sense of imprisonment.

With a heavy heart, she realized that Andreas, with his chiselled features and untamed brown hair that he usually tied in a bun, was not just a loyal protector but a handsome and gallant man.

She couldn't deny that she found him attractive, and their bond had grown strong over the years. But their circumstances had always held them back, and the doom of an engagement had sealed the abyss between them.

Selene knew that her dreams and desires went far beyond her present predicament. She was angry at the age-old traditions that bound her, at her father's expectations, and at the engagement that seemed like a cage she had been unwillingly thrust into.

The funny thing is not that she doesn't want to marry, it's just that everything feels like she is being sold off. If it were under different circumstances; maybe if she and the prince decided to form an alliance through marriage or if they were at least friends, it would have been manageable.

The worst part of it all is that her father doesn't want to give her a tangible reason besides this stupid tradition to allow her siblings get married. If their fortune was on the brink of collapsing or the kingdom needed help in building its strength, or something, any substantial reason would suffice.

Her siblings don't even have suitors or maidens knocking at their doors yet, so why rush her when she's only twenty-four? It made no sense to her. Since he won't give her a good reason to go into this marriage she will do everything in her power to end it.

As she lay on her bed, her thoughts swirled, and she pondered her options. Two solutions presented themselves in the hazy corridors of her mind:

One, to appeal to the Prince of Mu for a way out, and two, to suggest he marry the Princess of the West, who was known to be quite amiable and would likely be a better match.

The first option, however, was the safer choice. She didn't want to stir the pot and risk angering a potential ally in the prince. It was said that he possessed good morals, and she hoped he would be understanding, even if the alliance was motivated by political gain.

Her lids grew heavy, and the weariness of the emotional turmoil began to take its toll. She had made her decision. It was time to face her destiny and do what needed to be done to protect herself.

With that thought, she drifted into a restless slumber, her dreams filled with visions of the upcoming engagement and the tantalizing possibility of a way out.

Meanwhile, Andreas made his way through the dimly lit corridors of the castle, his steps heavy as his mind was weighed down by the despairing realization that his heart had long acknowledged but refused to accept. He had seen Selene in the moonlight, graceful and ethereal as ever, but now she would soon belong to another man.

He was happy for Selene; he really was. She deserved love and happiness as she moved on to the next stage of her life as a woman. But that happiness was overshadowed by the knowledge that he wouldn't be the lucky man building a family with her.

As he passed through the quarters designated for those who personally attended to the royal family, his friend and confidante, Ely, appeared in the corridor. Her olive face lit up when she saw him, and her black hair bounced behind her as she hurried over, her brown eyes sparkling with delight.

"Andreas! I haven't seen you all day. How have you been?" she asked, her voice filled with genuine warmth.

Andreas managed a small smile as he hugged his childhood friend. "I've been alright, Ely. Just keeping busy."

Their conversation began lighthearted, but as they walked down the hallway, Ely noticed the dullness in Andreas's eyes and asked, "You look as if you've been through a hell of a day. What's got you all sulking?"

He managed a half-hearted smile. "I think I'm ageing too quickly, I suppose."

Her giggle rang out melodically as she linked her arm with his, guiding him along. "Oh, come on now. We've been through too much for you to keep secrets from me. What's bothering you? Did you and your princess quarrel?"

Andreas shook his head, a bitter chuckle escaping him. "No, it's not about Selene. Not everything in my life revolves around her, you know."

Ely nodded knowingly as they approached his room. She glanced at him with an expression that wore pity as its cloak. "Let's not beat around the bush, Andreas. You claim you don't revolve around Selene but in truth you do. You let your world revolve around her like a moon. You can't even hide the way you look at her, the way you've been doing and will do anything to protect her."

Andreas's mood darkened at the accuracy of her words. He allowed her to guide him into his room, feeling slightly annoyed by the entire situation, but unable to turn her away even if she had a knack for talking too much, considering the friendship they shared.

Once inside, Ely shut the door and glanced outside briefly to ensure no one was eavesdropping. With a heavy sigh, she turned her attention back to Andreas, her voice softening.

"I know how you feel and I understand that the engagement is hard for you, but it's time to let go. Selene is getting married. This means soon, you'll get your send-off settlement money as a parting gift. Think about what you'll do with all that money. Maybe it's time to retire or pursue something you've always wanted." 

Andreas's anger grew as he balled his fists. "No, Ely you don't understand. Just because I care about her you want to give me a lecture? And for goodness sake, I said it's not about Selene. So stop spewing nonsense and drop it already."

Her expression shifted to one of exasperation. She, too, was becoming upset, and her voice grew more serious. "Care is one thing, Andreas. Love is another."

"Oh, the gods! When did I mention love, this woman? What-" He couldn't find the energy to complete his stream of questions, all he could manage was to release a heavy sigh.

Ely didn't take the hint the exhaustion in his eyes told her, instead she continued her preaching in the name of helping him move on. This so-called lecture is something he never asked for, he couldn't help but regret allowing this girl into his room that night.

"No, tell me, I'm fucking curious. Like in what world would a princess end up with her guard? Hmmm, tell me! Unless she wants to throw away her crown, right? It's just never going to happen and you know it. It's a stupid one-sided love, and it's... it's pathetic."

That was the last straw for Andreas. He exploded, eyes flared with anger, his words sharp and hurtful as he pointed a trembling finger at her. "And what about you, Elysia? You're one to talk, weren't you the one who couldn't shut up about the prince yesterday huh? If anything you are much more miserable than I am."

Ely recoiled, her own temper rising. "What the fuck? I never said I loved him, did I? Am I attracted to him? Yes! Do I want to fuck him till I pass out? Hell yes! Who can blame me? It's hard not to feel something after seeing him naked multiple times while dressing him. He's so hot and totally my type."

The argument escalated, each word spoken fueled by frustration and unspoken pain. Eventually, Andreas had enough and yelled, "Just get out, Elysia. I don't need your nonsense."

Elysia's face twisted in anger, and her pride wounded as she stormed out of his room, slamming the door behind her. As she left, she muttered under her breath, "Fine, Andreas. Good luck with your sick puppy one-sided love, you hopeless romantic."

Andreas slumped in his chair by the window, a storm of emotions crashing within him. He knew he was stuck in this unattainable love even though he kept lying to himself and Ely.

They both knew the truth, it was a tragic story with no happy ending for him. He couldn't help but feel like a fool, yearning for a love he could never have while the world moved on without him.