11 UNEDITED VERSION

"My father."

What? He watched his father die?

"Ho– ahh," what is known as a scream rips out of my lips as I feel something big with hairs brush my hand.

"Relax it's just Arcotos."

"Oh uhm sorry Arcotos I didn't notice you before, a lot has been on my mind." I feel his pink tongue lick the left side of my face.

I guess he forgives me.

He settles next to me and rests his big head on my lap, my fingers move on their own accord into his thick white soft fur, and they go on to comb through it and I get lost to the feeling of relaxation that goes through my body and supposedly his.

Arcotos has always loved head rubs, belly rubs and back rubs. His favourite is belly rubs.

The head rubs make him fall asleep.

As I sit here in a dark hole with Dion and my canis I can't help but think if my family is alright and I don't know what I would do if anything happens to any of them.

I do not how Dion feels right now, he said he watched them kill his father.

How is he able to function after witnessing two people he knows and loves killed?

I don't know if this is normal but aren't you supposed to feel emotions and grief when someone you know dies or in our situation got killed. That's not important at the moment.

"Dion?" He didn't say anything, and I was about to assume he fell asleep.

"Yes?"

"What really happened back there?" My fingers don't stop stroking and playing in the fur of Arcotos.

He stays silent, I decide to be patient, so I don't get annoyed with him.

I don't say anything as well because I'm trying to allow him to think or process what it is he saw and want to say.

"I was with my father in my room, we were talking about going away for some time to take a break from our way of life and just be together as a family." My heart for some reason began to beat to the familiar erratic tunes it's used to whenever my attention is given to Dion.

"You already know my mother passed away while giving birth to me, so my father is the only family I have, no uncle, no aunty, no cousin, no sister, no brother, no grandmother and no grandfather. It's just us two," I already knew this but I let him keep going without interrupting him.

"We suddenly hear an explosion and the castle walls shake, we ran outside, but we weren't prepared for what we saw, everything was already in chaos, our people and people we don't know were either running from the other or using those long strange objects to cut one another.

It was more of our people running for their lives and those beasts! Cutting them up!" I quickly rush over to his side as I crawled on all my four limbs to him, it didn't take long to get to him and I immediately wrap my arms around him in a comforting embrace.

I hope it's comforting.

"Shhh relax Dion, please calm down." I try to stroke his hair and back just like I would do for Arcotos, it always calmed him down whenever he's restless but I didn't expect it to not work on Dion because he's up on his feet quicker than I can say Khione, and he's practically screaming.

"Calm down?! You're telling me to calm down?! How can I be calm?!" I instinctively swallow my saliva and an audible gulp sound reach my ears if anyone calls me nervous right now that would be an understatement.

However, I stay quiet hoping he would calm down and talk about this.

He doesn't calm down as I wished.

"They were cutting their flesh like knives cutting into beef, blood-splattered and sprayed everywhere! It was horrible Aadya! My father and I were so shocked by the display of savage death being afflicted upon our people that we didn't see fire from the sky heading our way."

Oh my Boreas!

"Someone pushed us out of the way but not fast enough because the person that saved us got burnt by the fire, and she turned into ashes, the scream that leaves her mouth hunts me till now.

It was filled with so much pain and anguish Aadya. Before I could truly understand what was happening my father pushes me back into the castle and told me to run and get the royal family out of here," he falls to his knees and cries, tears well up in my eyes as I feel his pain heavy on my chest.

I don't know how he found the strength to continue, but he did, "I had already run into the castle only to realize he wasn't with me, I go back to the entrance where I left him only to witness his head being sliced off his shoulders and it fell to the floor, his eyes stared at me but there was no life in them, do you know what I did?! I turned my back to him and run away like the coward I am."

My hands search the darkness to touch his shoulder and I move closer to hold him once more hoping he won't push me away again.

He cried harder and his grief shook his body so much mine followed in accord.

We stayed in that position for a while as we both grieved for those that were killed and for his father.

Unlike Dion, I was never close to my father, I barely saw him and when he died all those years ago I didn't feel like I lost something, after all, he was never there, to begin with so tell me this how can you grieve the loss of something you never had.

In that manner, I can't really understand Dion's pain because I've not had a father figure just grandmother that has constantly been there steadfastly for me.

I close my eyes and try to place myself in Dion's shoes so that I may truly understand his pain, with my eyes closed I try to imagine everything he told me but instead of him and his father I imagine me and grandmother.

My eyes fly open before I could witness the gruesome image I was trying to create in my head because the pain, the anguish, the horror and the terror of watching someone I love to die in such horrible manner is beyond something my heart can handle.

It makes me send silent prayers to Boreas and Khione our faithful god and goddess to protect my family and for us to get to the foot of the mountain to reunite with them and also to protect our people that may have got away.

His sobbing calms down and only then do I notice that Arcotos had been making a whiny noise like he too was crying, it made me realize just how empathetic he is even if he's an animal.

Dion's deep breaths slowly turn into a normal steady rise and fall of his lungs, he seems to have calmed down now and for a very little moment, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself for being able to be here for him at a very terrible time in his life.

"When I ran back into the castle to the food table room to get you and your family I saw everyone in your family running towards me and when I asked for you that was when they realized you weren't with them.

In all the commotion they didn't realize you weren't behind them, the king told me to get you and meet them at the foot of the mountain up north, I assume they all ran to take a secret passageway out. It was on my way to get you that was when I saw the strange object that cuts like a knife on the floor, I picked it up.

Something in me wanted to kill the man that killed my father, but I was afraid, so I took the easy route, I hid and came to find you to escape. I am a disgrace." His voice drops so low I almost didn't hear him call himself a disgrace.

"No Dion don't say that."

"No matter what you say you can't make me feel better about it if I had made sure we were running together in the first place instead of taking off and running without checking if he's behind me by now he would either be with us or your family." I hear his nose sniffle and I think some fluid from his nose dripped on my arm.

My heart bleeds for him and tears flow from my eyes down my face as his pain truly pierces my heart.

If I say the wrong thing he would push me away and I don't know what to do, so I just sit there with my arms wrapped around him as I recall the last time I had a proper conversation with his father.

Dion's father goes by the name Morgan, he is the head of the guards and sort of like the advisor to the king.

It was a cold winter morning after I just returned from the forest, the previous night was a full moon and I went to be with Boreas even if I can't remember anything.

I remember quite clearly like it were yesterday, Hero and Marcus were chasing me with a dead rat as much as I love animals I very much prefer them alive and not dead.

I intended to hide in Dion's room in the castle because that would be the last place they would think of looking, my bare feet make tapping noise in the quiet passageway. Everyone had gone to wash or eat or do whatever because last night drained their energies, and we hadn't rested.

Turning into a wolf every full moon without our say in the matter can become very tiring and besides that, we are so used to staying in our human form most days every season and every passing year.

Our only joy of turning into a wolf on the night of a full moon is the idea and belief we've all grown accustomed to that on those faithful nights our dear god Boreas comes out to dwell amongst us in the flesh, although we have no memory of those times we always feel stronger once we've rested a day or two.

While everyone in the kingdom was getting ready for a very long rest my cousins decided to chase me with a dead rat they found in the kitchen in a corner where the cooks kept corn and grains they would grind to prepare akamu and moi moi.

My favourite is moi moi they use beans that had already been grounded to make it and there's always fish in the middle, it always had a spicy flavour that came with every bite till we get to the tender soft fish at the centre of the spicy delicacy, the fishes were caught from one of the ponds or streams nearby and those type always tasted awesome.

Each moi moi piece is the size of my palm and it comes in the shape of an irregular sphere.

While we were trying to steal the prepared moi moi that was to be served at dinner we saw the rat, that's when Marcus came up with the idea of chasing me with it and Hero followed, that's how I ended up hiding in Dion's room.

I thought he would be with Troilus or something but there he was in all his tall beautiful glory, my heart began to dance to the tunes of love and my senses refused to work as all I could see was him and all I could hear was him.

Morgan waved his arm in front of my face and that's when I snapped out of whatever trance I went into.

"Selamat Morgan and Dion." With a sheepish smile, I wave at him and Dion.

"Selamat princess." I throw my head back as I look up and groan audibly, I hear Dion chuckle and that makes me smile on the inside.

"Morgan please I have said it over and over again that I'm sure Boreas knows how many times please stop calling me princess just call me by my name if you don't stop I'll call you advisor or head of guards." He only smiled at me unaffected by my minute threat.

His brown eyes shone with mischief while his dark brown eyebrows went up and down as he wiggled them and I knew immediately that he was up to something.

"Dion, son? Please go do what I asked you to do." With a wave he leaves his room and heads to do whatever it is he told him to do earlier, I watch him leave and shut the door to his room.

"You can stop looking now, he's gone." My face heats up as a blush creeps up my face due to the embarrassment of being caught.

Again.

"I was not–" he stops me short with a raise of his arm.

"I know you have deep feelings for my son, I would have said you love him but you are much too young to understand what love is."

"I am?" My right brow quirks up as I question him.

"You are. My advice for you is this Aadya, no matter how much you love or care for someone never let them treat you less than you deserve. I am training him well but at the end of the day he decides the wolfman he wants to become and I don't know if you both will have anything together–"

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, for starters it's been four winters since I noticed the liking you have towards my son and as much as you denied it before I don't believe you and it's pretty obvious, in fact, I am surprised that you didn't deny the fact today."

My eyes instinctively roll, "I just got tired of repeating the fact that I don't like Dion."

He waves his hand dismissively, "Yes yes, I know, whatever makes you sleep at night keep thinking it. Back to what I was saying, since then till now he still hasn't noticed you, so I advise you to set your priorities straight and know the difference between patient and wasting your time."

He went on to ask me questions about my lessons with the elders and teased me about running into the forest to skip my lessons, which we both laugh as we recall every time I did.

Out of everything he said that day there were two things that I know I will forever hold at the back of my mind in my subconscious, they are to never let anyone I love or care about treat me less than I deserve.

And to always know the difference between patient and wasting your time.