20 Chapter Eighteen

I watch as he pours water in the clear cup, I can see through it, I learned it is called glass and I was not familiar with this type of material until now.

"So answer me, what is your story? After all, you will be under my roof and care for a while, so I believe I deserve to know, don't you think so?" I swallow the water as slow as I can and watch him relax into his chair with his hands folded across his chest.

How am I going to explain this to him without mentioning my royal status to him? He has a point, I will be under his roof for a while, eating their food without being expected to give anything in return, not to mention his sister saved me and brought me here and has been nothing but good to me.

"Uhm-uh it is quite a long story and I am sure that you have other things to do, you are king so I am sure you have a very busy schedule. My-" I stop myself from saying my uncle barely has time to sit with us at the food table.

He shifts in his seat and draws himself closer to me, he folds his fingers and peers his eyes at me as if he is trying to read me, I move my eyes away from him because I am scared he can actually read me.

"You weren't done with that statement, you stopped at my, so what is it that you don't want to say?" Oh, Boreas help me. I take in a deep breath as I try to come up with a good enough lie.

"I was going to say my king in my home land doesn't have time to discuss trivial matters with anyone." I look up from my empty plate of custard, that was the yellow liquid I had seen Dana and Ambrose drink with a spoon. He told me to drink it and when I didn't want to he explained to me what it is and encouraged me to eat it with a loaf of bread and it is very delicious.

"And how do you know if the king has time for such?" His dark right brow is raised as he wears a questioning look on his face.

"Uhm I am a friend to the neice of the king, so during all my visits to the castle I have never seen the king have time for anything other than his royal duties." His eyes roam my face then a smile appears on his face then he looks away from me and stays silent for a while.

"I will accept that explanation for now, then what do you see in that man?"

"Man?"

"Wolfman is it?"

"Oh yes that is it, you are referring to Dion, right?"

"I am unaware of any other of your kind that is in my castle, so yes I believe it is the same wolfman we are talking about." I pick up the water as I recall what I had seen and heard the previous day.

The pain still feels fresh and tears begin to gather in my eyes and I swallow the lump in my throat.

My Boreas! Aadya get a grip on yourself! Why should you cry in front of another being like this? This is the reason why Dana said you should be stronger.

Sometimes I wonder if I have gone mad talking to myself like I am not me. Regardless of how mad I think I am the voice in my head is right, I shouldn't be so vulnerable in front of another like this.

I open my eyes and I am met with a frowning king, he still looks oh so handsome but I prefer it when he smiles or laughs.

"Are you alright?" He leans closer to me and I watch as he lifts his hand and softly caress my face with the back of his cold fingers, it sends chills down me and causes my body to shiver.

"Don't worry about it, I am in the process of making my feelings for him mutual, he doesn't care about me so why should I care about him?"

He doesn't stop caressing my face, his eyes look into mine and for the first time I notice some golden streaks in his beautiful blue eyes, he looks like he understands my pain, his eyes tell me he understands how I feel, he doesn't have to say it because I can see it.

And somehow that makes me feel better, knowing that I am not the only one to feel such hurtful emotions, I wonder what his story is.

"And I just want to forget him but I don't know how I don't know what to do I am so lost… I can't say I want to rid of him because I need him to guide me to the foot of the mountain to reunite with my family, he has always been part of my life, I have been such a fool and I no longer want to be one.

This is not fair for me, all this is completely new to me, I just turned fifteen years of age not long ago and now here I am a wolfwoman completely heartbroken. Please tell me Ambrose how do you get rid of these feelings because I don't want them anymore."

By the time I am done pouring my heart out my face is covered in tears and I am in a tight embrace enclosed by Ambrose's hands, I don't stop crying.

I feel his hands rub the back of my head and stroke my hair as he lets me cry into his shoulders, "Shh my love, let it all out, hold nothing back love, let it all go and let this be the last time you cry over him, he isn't worth the tears." And that is what I do, I let it all out, my frustrations, my pain, the sadness, the pain of losing Felicity, the pain of having to leave home and be separated from my family.

Everything hit me at once, I poured it all out in my tears, for everything I have been through these past few days, including the way my fifteen years of age birthday had been spent in a hole and Dion didn't even try to at least bless me and wish me well as we usually do in Pohjola.

Only Boreas and Khione know how long I have been in this position with Ambrose but at some point, I calm down and feel less pained, I still hurt but not as much as before.

Cattarh keeps trying to escape my nose and I draw them back in, Ambrose lifts my head from his shoulders, his fingers clean my tear-streaked face, then he wipes the remaining tears from my eyes.

He looks into my eyes, "Do you feel better?"

I nod my head yes, in return he gives me a small smile, it seems to be contagious because I find myself smiling back at him even if it is smaller than what he is giving me.

"You will be fine just stick by me and you won't have a problem, and you can ask me of anything and I will give it to you… You are priceless remember that." Something occurs to me so I don't hesitate to ask without thinking of the implications and concequence.

"What do you want from me? Why have you and Dana been so good to me? I don't understand, anyone giving out help without expecting anything in return is unheard of." His face shifts to an expression that lets me know he is anything but happy with what I have asked.

"Can one not choose to help another without expecting anything in return? What do you take me for?" Maybe I perceived this all in the wrong way, is it possible that grandmother is wrong? How is that possible? She always seems to be right, after all, she is the eldest amongst us in our family.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just… I am sorry."

He lets go of me and relaxes his lean frame into his brown chair.

"Dana also tells me that she is to help you get the animals for the ritual that is important to you?"

"Yes, she said she would help me but she never mentioned when." He nods his head as he listens to me.

"That has already been arranged for you, I believe Dana will lead you to where they kept it and you can have it done. After you are done could you come to keep me company in my study?" They have already arranged everything?

Well, they are royalty so things should be easier for them to acquire. And did he just ask me to keep him company in his study, will we be alone? And why? I don't want to be around him all the time, I don't understand all these feelings and thoughts that are crowding my mind.

Is it possible to turn a king's invitation down? Do I have a choice in this matter? Is he only asking because he wants to and expects me to say yes?

I think I should just accept his invitation, his company might be enjoyable and besides I won't be here for long, right?

"Alright, thank you I will come keep you company in the study." He smiles at me.

"I believe that is all I have to discuss with you for now, you may leave, I will send for you when I need you." He looks at me then the door as he talks, I feel it is a bit not nice the way he dismissed me, but can I complain?

I turn around and make my way towards the door, I open it and see the same guards that had opened when I first walked in.

Which way do I go now to find Dana? I have no idea where her room is.

"Please, could you point me in the direction Dana is?" I look up to the tall guard and he looks at me from my head to my feet then back up, his action makes me feel as though I am beneath him.

Why do these beings look down on me so much? Is there something I am unaware of that is wrong with me?

First it was Aoife then the fairy that brought me to the throne room, then the maids and now the guards. Again I blame myself for not attending my lessons and paying attention to the elders, maybe I would have known what is really going on.

He lifts a finger and points it to his right and says, "Down this hall take a left, the third door on your right." He goes back to standing as still as a statue.

Well at least he answered me, right? I release a deep sigh and walk down the passageway he pointed at after saying a quick thank you.

The walls of this passage way is white and plain to my sight, there is really nothing much to look at and this leads my mind to replay the event that just took place in the dining room.

The things he said, the way he looked at me and most importantly how I felt at such a close proximity to him. He was harsh to those maids and I feel very bad about it, maybe if I try to talk to him again this time when we are alone he might listen to me and order for their release.

What do I make of this all? I don't know much of their kind and for some reason only the two royals I have met have liked me so far, they are both insisting I stay for days with them but I really miss my family and I ache to see them.

I have never in my life been this far away from my family, especially grandmother, I still feel utterly crushed about Felicity, the way everything feels to me, I cant explain it to myself because I don't understand them, so how can I process something that I don't understand?

My legs come to a halt at the end of the passageway, I take my left and keep walking, then take another left.

I don't know which is stranger, the fact that there are no paintings or statues to show the royal household or that I am walking down this hall in black clothing covering my feet, who would have thought that I, Aadya would be walking down this passageway in another land with strange customs to carry out my fifteen years of age ritual with a stranger who I am yet to understand.

Truly, we can never predict the future.

If someone came to me last winter to tell me that all these would happen to me I would have never believed it. Boreas please guide me because it seems as though my life is losing all sense of direction.