10 UNEDITED VERSION

We have been walking up this path for two days now relying on nothing but the occasional stops by nature's supply of water.

The nightmares never returned since then mostly because I could not sleep.

Dion has been beyond quiet if that's even possible to be beyond quiet because when you're quiet you don't say anything right?

But I could barely hear Dion breathe and his footsteps are soundless which is so strange in my opinion because every step I take makes all the leaves and plantations on the forest floor cry out loud.

The only way I know he is here with me is the fact that he's right in front of me leading the way to the foot of the mountain.

I can't wait to see my family again!

My heart aches thinking of how much I miss all of them, especially Selene, Aria and grandmother.

There was one time a year ago, I ran into the village market square when I was trying to get away from my grandmother.

Selene and Aria were in it with me, we all didn't want to follow the elder down to the caves to study kia.

It always smelled like a dead rat down there and one time I vomited all over the floor, the news went far and wide.

By far and wide I mean the entire castle heard of it and if they know of it then the whole kingdom does.

Sometimes I wonder why people love to gossip a lot, it's my life and my vomit and especially my business.

It is quite annoying to always be the centre of attention when you walk among the common folks.

They always had something to say to the next person to them, all behind my back.

Grandmother said it is because I am important and I intimidate them and because they can't approach me they gossip. To that, I laughed at that theory because well look at me.

I am so skinny and the only thing that gives away the fact that I am a wolfwoman and not a wolfman is my facial features and my voice.

My long hair doesn't count because almost everyone grows their hair, and they are always long.

My biggest issue with the gossiping is that it leads to them judging me, and they don't even know me, so what gives them the right to judge me?

No matter how hard I try I just won't understand why.

It's for this reason that aside from my family, Felicity and Dion I am not friendly with anyone else.

I try to behave accordingly, OK well I like to have fun with the wind in my hair but I behave when necessary, sometimes.

Fine I just respect my elders and mind my business, it's a peaceful life so far.

It's a life of contentment, you should try minding your business more than involving yourself in situations that your attention wasn't called upon you would have lesser troubles in life.

Doing this, however, earned me a certain level of respect.

So when I, Selene and Aria ran into the market square it was easy to tell the person who owns the shop we were hiding in to not give away our spot to anyone.

She agreed and we hid in her bag of corn.

Do you know what happened?

You guessed right.

She told everyone within a walking distance that the royal household had chosen her as their favourite corn seller and when they didn't believe her she told them we are hiding in her corn bags.

It wasn't long before the news spread.

Grandmother with castle guards found us and the worse part is that they still made us go to the stupid cave.

Don't get me wrong, kia is the most beautiful and purest thing on our land but it is found very deep in caves and sometimes under the ground.

But it smells horrible down there.

I don't know how people do it but Boreas! It's the worst lesson on our learning scheme.

Generally, I don't like learning, life is simple all you have to do is wake up, eat, play, eat, play some more, eat again and then have fun with my family and finally sleep. Then repeat.

But no everyone wants to complicate life so it's lesson after lessons all in the name of being the heiress to the throne.

I didn't enjoy it but right now I would do anything to see my family again even if it means no more skipping lessons.

This thought is what excites me and pushes me forward to move no matter how tired, hungry and thirsty I get I know at the end my family would be waiting for me there.

They are all I have left.

I still can't believe Felicity is gone.

She has always been there since I was a baby.

She's the first person I see every single day and waking up these past two days reminded me of the horror of her death.

My heart aches and tears well up in my eyes for the thousandth time today.

Why would they kill her? She meant no harm.

Why did they attack us? What did we ever do to them to deserve such cruelty?

Something dark begins to stir deep within me and slowly grows into my mind whispering thoughts of bringing death to their kind just as they did to mine.

No, I can't shed innocent blood over the sins of another. It's wrong.

Besides, what can little me do? I can barely defend myself and here I am thinking of killing them like they killed Felicity.

I'm sure uncle would know what to do and how to handle this unfortunate circumstance.

I wonder how many of my people escaped, are they alright?

Did the attackers leave our land? If they have left should we just go back and be with everyone?

If it weren't for Dion leading the way I definitely will not know what to do or where to go.

Not having a clue on what to do rubs the fact in my face that I am beyond incompetent to rule.

I don't even know what those people are or what they are truly capable of, or the creature that breathes fire and spits it down to the earth.

Now, I truly understand how privileged I was to have unlimited access to all the knowledge I could ever dream of or need. Yet I was utterly powerless because I knew nothing about them.

What is it that they say?

Power is knowledge? No that's not it.

Knowledge is power!

But it doesn't make sense to me because you can have all the knowledge in the world but without the actual power does the knowledgeable really have power.

Think about it even if I knew all that is to know about those people I still have no proper physical strength to defend myself.

In my opinion, power is power.

I once had a certain level of it as a member of the royal household but my daily acts made a lot of people see me as a child, they don't give me half the respect Troilus received.

Well, if I'm being honest I'm totally fine with it, I don't like the idea of ruling.

I think I'll just let Troilus do it instead and take the throne he puts in the work for it anyway.

He also takes every single thing so seriously to the point it's once in a blue moon that he so much as cracks a joke.

Which reminds me of the teasing joke he was about to make of me and my feelings for Dion before everything went into utter chaos.

A tree branch hits my face and momentarily blinds me which then causes me to trip on a root or fallen wood on the ground.

My weight falls onto the back of Dion and before I can process what's happening we both fall but into a hole?

I still can't see because dust entered my eyes from those branches that hit my face and now I can feel us falling downwards.

Till we hit the ground with a loud thud.

We both groan out in pain and exhaustion.

After a while, I manage to get the dust particles from my eyes and blink away the tears that formed from trying to remove them.

It's definitely not because I fell and landed on my buttocks.

"Are you OK?" Dion helps me up to my feet.

How did he stand up so quickly?

"I'm alright. I'm sorry I fell us both down here. Where is here?" We try to make out our surrounding, but we could barely see a thing because it's dark.

"I have no idea, but we can't stay here, it might be a trap."

"A trap? There are people out here?" I don't want to meet more people, I just want my family.

"I don't know." I hear him move and some noises of plants hitting each other tell me he's touching the walls that are around us probably to find an escape route for us.

After a while I hear him kick the wall hard causing some rocks to fall, a shiver goes through my body and I instinctively cower away from him.

"I'm sor–"

"It's not your fault!"

We both stay silent as he breathes hard after that outburst that was obviously uncalled-for.

I think.

Dion has never yelled at me before though. Well, I don't know what to think of this.

But something tells me something is bothering him.

The real question is why did he react that way, I know we're kind of stuck here and it is clearly my fault because I wasn't looking where I was going.

I was so lost in my head.

I always am.

But it's not like we will end up staying here till we die of thirst and hunger.

"Dion? Are you OK?"

I see his shadowy figure crumble to the ground on his knees as he begins to cry.

What is happening to him?

"I'm so sorry... I am so so sorry." His cries hit me straight in my heart and it shatters into a million pieces.

"Dion please stop crying we will get out of here, I'm sorry and I know it's my fault." He rips himself out of my hold as I tried to comfort him in what way I can.

I don't know which hurts more, the fact that he's crying or the fact that he doesn't want me to touch him.

"Stop saying that! I failed! I failed! I failed!"

"Dion, you are not making any sense, what do you mean?"

Silence.

"Dion?"

More silence.

I can't help but feel annoyed with what he's doing and my mood changes quickly from feeling sorry for him to being upset with him.

I try to control myself because grandmother says throwing a temper will never get you what you want and I want him to talk to me.

With a deep breath and a new resolve to calm him down, I try again.

"Dion? Please talk to me, we will get out of here then everything will be fine –"

"Oh for Boreas' sake just shut the hell up already! Everything will not be fine! Are you blind?! Didn't you see what I saw back there?! Why are you so delusional? Why are you so naive? You are no longer a child so grow the damn up and face the harsh truths of reality!"

Speechless.

Shocked.

Angry.

But the strongest of them all is hurt.

The night alerts us of its arrival as the crickets sing songs very familiar to us disturbing the painful silence between us.

I let the tears flow from my eyes freely because I know he can't see them.

He's just upset about everything this has nothing to do with me.

But he's right about something though, I am delusional and naive.

People raged war against my kingdom, and I was thinking of there to be a reason for their actions and there could be something that could be done to stop all those things from happening.

In reality, my people were all probably being killed as I escaped like a coward.

But I don't want to die, I don't know how to fight, so why should I stay and die with them?

What am I thinking?!

What is wrong with me? Why am I so stupid? A lot of people probably died, and I am here telling Dion who saw Felicity die that everything will be fine.

I still don't want to process her death, I don't even want to think about it because I don't know how to grieve or mourn the dead.

A plant brushes my thighs and I get lost in the feeling of soft flat leaves gently touching my skin.

Slowly, my anger, pain, shame, disappointment, sadness, and other emotions that I can't explain all go numb.

It's almost like I'm floating, yet I'm here seated in a hole with Dion on the far end thinking to himself or grieving Felicity.

I feel nothing.

But that doesn't explain it properly if I say I feel nothing that means I'm feeling something but my lack of words makes me classify these feelings as nothing.

Yet there's no word to describe this state of having no feelings, I think I will just stick to numb.

I feel numb.

"You're right."

"What?"

I breathe in air and it smells like earth and dust, it's also a bit cold too and when I exhale I open my eyes and stare at the dark shadowy figure sitting opposite me with his back against the wall similar to the way I am seated.

His facial features are completely hidden from me but I have known him long enough to know the expression that would be on his face and I close my eyes again and rest it against the wall on which my back rests on.

"I said you are right. I am delusional, I am childish and everything will not be fine because a lot of people died back at home, and we're here running away when we should have died along with them. I'm sorry I just don't know how to grieve her death or process everything."

He doesn't say anything.

I think he fell asleep during that long speech of mine and I don't blame him.

People say I talk too much, it's just I don't know how to express myself, so I end up saying too much.

I close my eyes and let sleep come to me even if it had deserted me for the past two days now.

Sleep comes finally and I drift into what I presume would be a deep slumber.

"I watched him die?" That catches my attention and my eyes fly open in high alert to be met with more darkness.

"Who?"

"My father."