1 A Book?

Jim Garrett sat at a computer desk, leaning back on his chair in a terrible posture, he looked like he would just slide out of it at a moment's notice.

The computer monitor on the desk showed a popular video viewing website, he stared at the screen blankly without enjoying the content, even he wasn't sure why he kept watching, the slightly handsome man on the screen was talking in an exaggerated fashion with occasional loud sound effects. Several people had recently claimed this person's content was great, but Jim was just having trouble keeping focused and not switching to another browser tab.

"Sigh..." Jim swore not to watch anymore content from this uploader once the 11 minute video ended, he immediately clicked on a recommended cat video, but after a quick glance at the computer's clock, he panicked, it was after 3am and he had a doctor's appointment at 9, if he tried to go to sleep now he wouldn't get any restful sleep. But staying up for several more hours would make him tired enough that he'd be dozing off.

Suddenly, a dark silhouette flashed across the front of the dresser to his left, causing him to reflexively look over, nothing was in sight. "It's not real, calm down, calm down." Jim muttered to himself. "Jim!" He heard his mother calling from downstairs, he asked back "What?" And got no response, getting up from the chair, exiting the room and looking down the stairway he found no one there.

"Right, right, she's at sister's place tonight..." Muttering to himself, he blamed himself for being so terrible at learning, people are supposed to memorize things after repetition, right?

Hallucinations like this were common for him, some chemical imbalance in the brain, he'd occasionally see shadows darting across his peripheral vision or hear people call out his name despite nothing being there. Having suffered from this for close to 30 years he figured he'd be used to it by now, but he kept falling for his own mind's trickery.

Originally his teenage self thought it was something supernatural when it first started occurring, seeing and hearing spirits or alternate realities, you see that in tv shows and movies all the time, right? He got excited thinking he had somehow developed a talent as a medium and began planning his future, contacting the ghosts of murder victims and helping the police with the knowledge earned, he'd eventually expose the metaphysical side of the world to the general public singlehandedly, opening a new school of research and earning fame and even a Nobel prize.

His lofty hopes were dashed however, turns out it was all in his head, after all how can the ghost of someone be calling out to him when they're alive and well in a house across the city? Back in the present after his short remenicense, he decided reluctantly to go ahead and shave, he hadn't stepped foot outside the house for two weeks now and his beard was growing out wildly all over the place. Some take pleasure in shaving as a sign of manliness, he just felt it was an annoying chore, so if he wasn't going out anyway he just allowed it to grow out.

After making sure his face was smooth, his nose suddenly caught a stench, "Ugh, Ripe." he also hadn't showered in two weeks, he also felt it was bothersome so he just didn't care to bathe himself until his body odor was bad enough to revolt himself, there wasn't anybody else to smell it anyway, so he didn't feel bad about this, as a shut-in for the majority of his life, the value of adhering to social norms had dropped to near zero long ago. Climbing into the shower he got it over with.

After drying off his stomach suddenly felt empty like he hadn't had a bite in days, getting dressed with minimal clothing he headed downstairs and fixed up some frozen food, this toaster oven his aunt gave him was great, almost all microwaved food began to taste like terrible mush years ago, so being able to have something come out crisp and toasty made eating fun again. Jim was on a rather strict budget, he had heard that cooking for himself was cheaper, but when he added together the cost of meat and vegetables for a meal it turned out 1.5x the pre-made stuff, he was also terrible at cooking, so there was no guarantee of handmade stuff being better, also that was way too much effort, he could just pop something in the toaster oven and wait a few minutes.

It definitely wasn't because he was lazy, it was because...he couldn't think of an excuse right now, but there probably was one, so he had to be right, right? After gobbling down some food, he began to think of there was anything else to do...oh, yeah, the doctor's appointment, it was 5 by now, and took 40 minutes to drive downtown, so he had just over 3 hours of free time, Jim headed to the computer without hesitation.

After spending a few hours playing web games and watching videos, he got dressed and headed outside, his aunt was due to arrive in a few minutes to take him downtown. The bright sunlight hurt his eyes, he adjusted to it and stood around, his body started trembling, fear and anxiety started setting in, he forced himself to remain calm, the seconds ticked away and became minutes, it was torture to be out here, he tried to act normal, it was tough.

What was wrong? No, he wasn't a vampire being burnt by the sunlight, he had social anxiety and agoraphobia, being around other people was hard, being in a place where people could see him was hard too, he would become paranoid, nervous, it was an indescribable discomfort that seemed to seep into his bones, it was extremely mentally draining and would lead to severe nausea or even panic attacks in which he felt like death was coming for him. Of course, it would be even worse if he missed this appointment and didn't get a refill on his prescriptions, ignoring the withdrawal symptoms that would occur he shivered at the thought of how much his own brain used to torture him before he went looking for help. There was a period of a few months where he could only eat saltine crackers and drink water due to the nausea that came on just thinking of going outside.

Jim had sometimes fantasized of how great it would be to survive as an unbeatable hero in a post-apocalyptic world, but without medication being produced he was sure that after running out you can forget being strong, he'd hardly be able to stand before he died of starvation in front of a stockpile of food.

Why was he born like this? Jim had no idea, he had tried before to overcome this irrational fear, but it was useless, it was ingrained in him, he just had to deal with it and get what enjoyment he could pull out of life, keep busy and don't think about it, that was his way of coping, of enduring. *honk* a car pulled in, his aunt was a bit early. "Hey" Jim said after opening the passenger side door, "Hi, downtown?"

"Yeah"

Believe it or not, this is one of the smoothest conversation Jim has had in his adult life, it was an accomplishment to squeeze a single word out, he should get an award for not stuttering, right? What do you mean this is nothing special, this was harder than Hercules' labors for Jim, and was only possible because he'd known his aunt so long.

It was a quiet uneventful drive downtown, he headed into the college physician's building and headed to the psychology department, you could see a doctor here for a mere $20 and get prescriptions, they were professional and quick, it suited Jim quite well, he thought back to when he tried going to places closer to home, the councillors and doctors at those places were unusually judgemental, acting like he could just get over his condition with a stern talking-to, it was enough to make him doubt their credentials. He didn't have to face any of that here, they listened to what he had been experiencing and prescribed non-addictive pills to manage it, perfect.

After he told a doctor his symptoms recently, got some pill scripts, and was out of the building within 30 minutes. Walking over to his aunt's car, he spotted something fluttering down slowly from above, it was a book, thin like a comic issue, he caught it out of curiousity. Suddenly, his mind began aching, a splitting headache car worse than any he had before, he felt he was going to die.

After what felt like hours of suffering, the pain subsided, a breath of relief leaked out of his mouth. Suddenly, he heard something.

[System Initializing]