20 Chapter 20: First Stage

19 February- year 13 AK

DAIKI

I was sprawled over the roof of the Guardian's hangar-like building, contemplating my next moves, I had in mind only a rough plan. When you don't know where to go, start from the beginning. I chided myself.

I had passed the examination a week before, and I was officially going to be one of the Twelve. If I survived their training, that is.

Frankly, I had been ready for worse. While the tactics and sign language I was expected to learn on my own, Daisuke Sato, the shinobi who first tested me, had been more or less constantly wiping the floor with me. He was actually blind, and very kickass.

He had simply stated that through my spars he would be able to evaluate if I was actually committed or not, it would have been a waste introducing myself to the other ten Guardians if I weren't to learn what was deemed necessary. It was bullshit, but I understood that he had to be suspicious of the rookie.

For all he knew, I could be a plant from Konoha to one day overthrow the Daimyō. It was bullshit, but understandable, at least my Kage bunshin running around to gather information had been able to clear up some things that really nobody ever explained to me.

Traditionally, the shinobi and kunoichi who enter the service of the Fire Lord come from one of the smaller, less-known villages.

Doing so they provide visibility to their home country, and none of the said villages would ever have anything to gain with attacking the Daymō or his administration. Konoha, on the other hand, like any of the Great Five hidden villages, was inside the borders of the Fire Lord's domain. But still, Konohagakure was an independent village, the Kage didn't answer to anyone.

I snorted, I would have liked to see anyone order Sarutobi around. Or Hashirama, the one who liked so much the idea of a village hidden among the leaves that used his bloodline to sprout a fucking forest made of Hashirama trees. Yeah, not very original. I mused thinking of the dumbass who thought himself smart, naming the wood after his creator.

Ninjas stole. Secrets, money or lives it was of little concern.

I knew that the Daimyō had his army, as every Nation did, but it was an army made of normal soldiers. Hell, a single genin could wipe out thirty trained soldiers. Easily.

But it was hardly necessary, after all, if the Daimyō ever decided to remove Konohagakure, his whole chain of command would be slaughtered during the night by a single Anbu.

I didn't want to think what a Kage could do to a civilian army.

It matched what I managed to link together from my missions. After all, if a merchant issued a mission against another, Konoha would accept it. Killing a citizen of the Fire Lord nevertheless.

There is likely some kind of defense pact... something along the lines of 'If the Fire Nation goes to war against Suna, Konohagakure will take care of their shinobi. I reflected.

The information on the era of the pre-hidden villages didn't constant warring clans had to begin somewhere didn't they? Sadly, in any kind of military-based government, history was the first to be rewritten or outright hidden to appease the masses.

I could only speculate that every clan acted as its little hidden village, doing missions for the lord or merchant who was the highest bidder.

The strange, uneasy relationship between Tanyu (the capital) and Konoha was probably the reason I had been left alone during the six months after I made chunin. I had been free to keep taking D-ranks at my leisure, despite clearly being overqualified.

I knew that chunins were given duties like patrol or such trivia, but the higher-ups didn't want me to know anything more than necessary before letting me go to the capital. I could only imagine what kind of coup had been Asuma enrolling among the Twelve.

My considerations came to an abrupt halt when my Kage bunshin dispersed, his memories and chakra returning to me.

"Yes." I grinned.

I sat cross-legged, opened the first three gates and waited a couple of minutes for the extra chakra to somewhat settle down. I could feel my coils stretching painfully when I used my outstanding chakra control to force close my tenketsus and force the chakra to flow faster and to not get dispersed around me.

I gathered my chakra and formed the seals: Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, Sheep.

I slammed my hand on the rooftop, exclaiming joyfully: "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

I felt half of my chakra disappear, for an instant of freezing fear I found myself not-being.

I reappeared and before anything could happen, I jumped away and started looking around, taking notice of any possible threat. It looked like I was safe.

I took in my surroundings: under my feet there was an unbroken herbaceous layer, while the 'forest' around me was characterized by the trees being sufficiently widely spaced so that the canopy did not close, letting me see the cloudless blu sky and feel the heavy heat of the sun.

I saw enough documentaries in my first life to recognize a Savanah when I was in the middle of one. I knew that summoning without a contract brought someone into the domain of the creatures they were more closely linked to, personality-wise. Orochimaru, snakes, it fit. Jiraya, toads, well, he was an oily kind of pervert, so it did fit.

I really didn't know what to think about Tsunade.

I was running through the various animals I knew inhabited such an environment. I most certainly was no predator, I disliked the inherent conflict of the hunt after all.

With a sigh, I started walking around, looking for clues about which animal ruled over that place.

I only hoped they weren't going to be giraffes.

I awoke with a smile on my face, living again my memories in my sleep wasn't always relaxing, but more often than not pushed me towards a re-examination either my choices or the events that defined my current life.

A few hours later, I was sitting on a pond with my lovely cute little genins busy performing handstands around me.

"Do you know why I haven't taught you any other jutsu? You must have wondered, after all you got your E or D-rank one down in a week, learned from a scroll. How many others could you have learned under my direct tutelage?" I asked, manipulating the water under me to twirl suddenly into another direction, forcing my genins to adjust immediately their chakra output.

Shikamaru grunted: "Versatility, I use the doton technique to bury paper bombs, trip others in close combat, cast shadows..."

I clapped my hands once, and obediently, my genins balanced themselves on the tips of their fingers, the effort, and concentration clearly visible on their faces.

"Right in one!" I cheerfully praised them, clapping twice. Hearing the sequence, they pushed against the water, effectively hopping over it before returning to balance themselves on their fingertips.

"I thought that hiding yourself effectively would marry wonderfully with the Yamanaka' clan techniques, and it can be built upon. For example, heat is still traceable under that jutsu. So, so thing to improve on." I explained.

I left out my fears that controlling for long periods the mind of great predators might have affected a tiny bit her personality, at least when she was in the middle of the fray.

"And Raiton for Choji explains itself, does it not? Some holds would kill you if you were to try and expand to break them." I continued my explanation, leaving out that I hoped he would one day be able to mimic the Raikage's lightning cloak.

"Another question that you most than likely have, is why I haven't taught you any Katon ninjutsu." I clapped once, and my cute little genin returned to their regular handstand with a satisfied sigh.

"Katon is, by far, the less versatile of the five elements, even if it has the most obviously destructive power." I started.

"So I gave Shikamaru and Choji very low ranked ninjutsu, which is usually taught to people who start their elemental training, since handseals for those two ninjutsu act more like a switch, simply generating a current and seep your chakra into the ground respectively. The things you accomplish with them are shape manipulation." I kept up my explanation. "It's less obvious with the ration technique, but it's there."

I snapped my fingers and my cute little genins balanced themselves on their right hand, bringing the other behind their backs.

"It's not my job to micromanage your development, if I did so, the enemy would need to know only one of us to come up with tactics that would deal with all of us. Besides self-development is the only thing that makes you know your skills inside out, which is of paramount importance." I chatted amenably, exercising my control over the water making it ripple in unsteady waves, forcing my genins to curse and adjust their chakra output.

"You see, perfection is always a step further, there is no such a thing as 'mastering' either a jutsu or a nature manipulation, since every time you perform it a tiny bit differently. But 'effectiveness'. That is an actual goal that can be reached with enough practice."

I rose from my position without permitting my genin to stop their exercise and I walked towards the end of the pond. I love training ground 11.

"Do you remember the kawarimi week?" I asked.

Sarcastic snorts were the only answer I received, I shrugged. Chasing freshly minted genin with their legs tied for a week, forcing them to either run on their hands or performing kawarimis maybe had been a little too much. But that jutsu was the most underrated I had ever witnessed. They needed to actually learn to use it.

"What about the genjutsu week?" I asked, referring to the ten days I spent casting an unrelenting barrage of genjutsus over them. I affected all of their senses separately and together, only their depth perception, sometimes hitting like a battering ram, others being as light as a feather. They needed to learn to not be caught unaware.

Even if placing genjutsu on Choji to make him miss his own mouth during lunch had maybe been a bit over the line. Naah.

"Good job, you've earned a minute of respite, come behind me to rest." I ordered, and the kids immediately took their chance. They still were terrified that I would spot some youthful spirit and make them work even harder.

When they sat down behind me, I let go of the hold I had over the first five gates, feeling my enlarged pathways being filled to the brim with fast-flowing chakra. I regulated my breathing, noticing with satisfaction that while the chakra was flowing faster, it wasn't in any way turbulent and wasn't straining my coils.

I started slowly going through hand seals, building up a good half of my reserves: "I've been thinking of a way to train you to fight in the open sea for a while now. Kawariming with stuff that is underwater can be tricky, even more if there are currents or If you don't keep the water out of your lungs."

Feeling the dread in my students, I smirked, but I kept collecting the water around us: "Don't you worry though, I've been reading up on lungs, so even if yours collapse I can probably heal them and we can keep going."

Being a mednin is awesome. I thought when I heard the genins whimpering.

I concluded the handseals and inhaled deeply, before completing the technique, shouting just for scaring the living shit out of the Anbu who was spying on my training of team 10: "Suiton: Dai Bakusui Shōha!" (Great Exploding Water Colliding Wave)

And just like Kisame did in the anime, I encased the whole training ground 11 in water. It came forth like a tidal wave, collecting and magnifying every speck of water it could find, churning on itself into a giant semisphere.

I turned toward my speechless genins with a smile: "Well what are you waiting for?"

Faster than they could see, I grabbed them for the scruffs of their necks and tossed them over the giant semisphere.

"Kunais and other shit are floating underwater, take a breath, kawarimi with it, then climb your way back up. Oh, and remember to reinforce your bodies with chakra, or the pressure may kill you." I explained the exercise I had just come up with with a smile, but seeing their pale expressions I rose an eyebrow.

They immediately got to it.

15 April- year 13 AK

I went to see my team off at the waiting hall for the genins more to scout their competition than to actually wishing them good luck. I had hammered them through survival and fighting experience. I drilled into them several lessons, like never giving up, since whenever one of them had faltered during training I hurt him or her even worse. Or like always be prepared.

I would always remember with fondness their faces when I kidnapped them on a free day and chased them still in their pajamas for two weeks straight in training ground 11.

I laid the foundations that would make them think about their place in the world. I had forced them to 'look underneath the underneath' basically asking for something while meaning something else entirely. For example, I had them cross a whole booby-trapped training ground (I spent a lot of money in paper bombs) to reach a flag. I told them that who would bring back the flag would win a whole day off. They clashed over it while it was a test meant for them to work together.

I poked their inflated big heads, tasking them with the retrieval of three flags I placed around Konoha. The first two had been a walk in the park, the third had imploded over their heads an empty warehouse I had purchased exactly for that purpose and almost killed them when a storage seal unleashed an airborne inflammable poisonous gas. Maybe I went overboard with that one. I mused.

All in all, I thought I had done a good job with them. Surely they outclassed their manga-selves, and by a wide margin.

But, I thought, taking in the far too many teams in the waiting hall, I have no idea how it will turn up. There were at least three hundred genin hopefuls, the second stage was going to be a bloodbath.

There were far too many people around, and like I had predicted, Iwa and Kumo had appeared into the fray. I spotted Kabuto with his freaky round glasses and his weird teammates and sighed. I'll probably have to jump in between Orochimaru and Sasuke. I considered.

It would likely disqualify team 7, but considering the absolute clusterfuck the Elemental Nations would become if Sasuke got marked, I didn't particularly care.

I finally noticed my team entering the hall and flickered over to them, playfully ruffling Ino's hair, feeling the ninja wire she had hidden in it, ready to shred the idiot who would try to yank her ponytail around. I nodded my approval, ignoring her attempts to stop me and her grumbling.

"Well, you finally made it." I commented.

"You sent us to the other side of Konoha." Ino hotly accused me, happy to have an excuse to tear me a new one.

I shrugged unapologetically: "If you can't find out on your own where you are supposed to be, then you don't deserve to be chunin. Having said that, have fun." I answered, disappearing in a flicker.

I had already given my suggestions days before and talked about my chunin exam, no doubt either Shikamaru or Ino had bargained something with their parents to read the records of my chunin exam, so at least it was something. From the look on Shikamaru's face, I knew that he had caught up with the wrongness that such a vast number of genin was.

And I feared that he had reached my exact same conclusion as how to deal with it.

Later

KAKASHI

I carefully examined my fellow senseis from the elemental nations. Iwa, Kumo, and Suna were present, underlining the conspicuous absence of Kiri. It was really out of character for any if the great five to miss an opportunity to show off.

Ame, Kusa, Sound, Taki... all the minor hidden villages sent their genins without a sensei. Either because their Oyabun deemed the risk of having one of their jonin stripped of every secret too high or because the village couldn't afford the few necessary days said sensei would spend without a mission, I didn't know.

Probably a bit of both. I reasoned. Still, it was a common enough recurrence that it didn't raise any suspicion.

I let my eye take in my surroundings, distractedly taking notice of the possible escape routes and more likely places that could hide traps. But my attention was more directed on the other very competent shinobis and kunoichis in the room. It was a large room with a fake mirror that allowed us to check on our students during the first stage on one side, and the several senseis from the different villages had formed little groups, eager to see how their students would perform.

Well, most of them.

Daiki was... rap-battling Killer B. I quickly checked for a genjutsu, but I could find none. I knew Killer B was awful, but Daiki was even worse. I refused to acknowledge their words, I had some fucked up memories, I knew that. I didn't need more.

Wars have begun for less. I thought.

It was my first time attending the chunin exams as a sensei, well, like a sensei of a team under my name.

"Did Morino come up with this while he was still half asleep? It's a bullshit first stage." Daiki commented. He had left the losing rap battle when Ibiki had started his explanation. Well, that's something.

I eye-smiled, I knew for a fact that Ibiki did, in fact, organize the first stage only a few hours before, basically avoiding neatly any risk of any information leak.

I noticed Kurenai giving him an annoyed glare when he started smoking. Daiki noticed it too.

"What?" He huffed. "I feel like smoking today."

"Nervous for your rookies?" an Iwa sensei jibed. I turned an unimpressed eye on the jonin. Bantering? Really?

"I'm always sad when children are made to kill." was the chilly answer.

In that moment, in the perfectly quiet class, an Ame genin jumped from his seat with a kunai in his hand and rammed it into the skull of an unsuspecting Iwa kunoichi, killing her on the spot.

The assassin didn't stop, whirling on his next target and slashing his throat open before being slammed on the ground by a chunin plant, while Ibiki somehow, managed to gain control over the freaked out genins.

I noticed that Sakura hadn't managed to keep down her breakfast, while Naruto was shouting something at the downed Ame nin and Sasuke's Sharingan was scanning the environment.

The Ame nin curiously impaled himself on the kunai while being downed by the chunin plant. How... convenient. I thought.

After a glance at Daiki who turned up his impassible face like all the other senseis, my eye found the Yamanaka twirling her pencil with a steely expression, a heavy frown on the Akimichi and a bored expression on the Nara.

I could feel the chakra of the Iwa kunoichi's sensei rolling and thundering, looking for an explanation and likely an excuse to kill someone.

The first stage started less than five minutes before, and three teams were already out. Ibiki had a steely expression and reminded everyone that whichever folly had taken the Ame nin, killing in such a way would have disqualified his team nonetheless.

I looked at the cloud of smoke exhaled by Daiki, it formed the number 107, before slowly morphing into 104.

It didn't take a genius to notice that it matched the number of teams, it was unnecessary cruel towards the senseis that had just assisted to the death of their charges, it was underhanded, but he was still a fellow shinobi of the leaf, so I backed him up.

"So..." I drawled "How about a betting pool?"

To my surprise, Guy's 'unyouthful' gaze, and Kurenai's blank face (which was a badly crafted mask to hide her shell shocked expression), Daiki flipped out a notepad and a pencil, ready to mindfuck the senseis from the other villages.

He was a strange kid, and now is a strange man. I thought, going once again over his cryptic, or not so cryptic, suggestion back on the day of the teams' formation. But it had been a long time since I last found someone up to fuck around with other people heads simply for the fun of it.