5 Love me not..

Ivan was assigned to guard me and my sister Anastasia. He was staring at me all the time. I've never been with a man and never been in love. I did know that my captor's heart was falling for me.

We became friends after some time and he made it clear that he was not angry with me nor my family. Like other peasants, he only wanted better lives for hisself and his family. Lenin's propaganda gave them hope and promised them everything they needed to hear. He saw in him the path for a new world free from poverty and oppression.

I had little clue of what he was going through. How could I understand? I was a daughter of a despised Tsar but I only knew him as papa. He was there to greet us every morning, he played with us whenever he could, comfort us when we were sick, held us in his arms ever since we were little and taught us to say our prayers at night. That was the man I knew.

The more time Ivan and I spent together, the more I understand how he truly felt about me. On my birthday, he managed to sneaked out a cake and gave it to me as a present. Occasionally, he would give flowers and write a poem for me. He was careful not to be noticed by his comrades but I guess they were aware but allowed it anyway because they knew sooner or later that we will be eliminated. Everyone knew except from Ivan. His blinded heart clouded the coming reality of our impending death sentence.