The Devilish Genius of Time and Effort. That Cheating Bastard. Idiot Savant. A man known by countless names in the Three Realms, one who collected every treasure, every ancient art, whose Dao of 'Accumulation' made him the richest and most hated person even amongst the Eternal Emperors. The strongest Transcendent, the one envied by all beneath the heavens. After breaking past the bounds of existence, he- "I'm heading home." "W-Wait! Master!" -Promptly packed his bags and returned to Earth. A story about a laidback overpowered guy who underestimated how hard it is to be abnormal in a normal world and gets swept up into the flow too quickly... And also ended up opening an idol agency. Thus begins the tale of John Smith and his daily adventures back on Earth.
After the two former divine beasts pledged their loyalty to him, John brought them out of his Heavenly Realm and back into his office.
Bai Hu blinked and took a look around, confused. "This... is not the Three Realms."
Qing Long looked around as well, frowning. "There is no spiritual energy here."
John walked around to his desk and then sat down, smiling. "You're right! I left that place behind a few weeks ago." He held out his arms and said, "Welcome to Earth, my home world... and yours for the foreseeable future."
Bai Hu chuckled, a malevolent glint in his eyes. Turning to face John, he said, "So that is your plan, Master John. How vicious... But I like it." He cracked his neck and said, "So when do we begin the conquering? And you won't mind if I take a few beauties as disciples, do you? Or maids?"
John's smile faded.
Qing Long's eyes widened and he quickly jabbed his fellow divine beast in the ribs.
"Gah!" Bai Hu rounded on Qing Long, his white hair scattering like lightning, and he said, "What the hell do you think you're-!"
Qing Long frantically pointed at John.
Bai Hu froze and then turned back to his Master.
John's smile had returned. But it wasn't as warm as before. Instead, it was sharp. "You know... There's a saying in this world, Bai Hu."
The white-haired man gulped and then said, "A-And what might that saying be, Master John?"
"There is more than one way to skin a cat."
Bai Hu's eyes widened and he quickly slammed his head on the ground. "F-Forgive me! I misspoke!"
"Tch." John shook his head.
This was the problem with people from the Three Realms... they always thought about taking more and more instead of building others up...
Or maybe it was his reputation that caused Bai Hu to jump to that conclusion about conquering the world?
...Come to think of it, he captured them all around the same time that he was unifying the lower realms, right? And they had been locked up the entire time, so they didn't know what happened after he met Yue and got married...
"M-Master?" Qing Long spoke up and then said, "W-What do you wish for us to do?"
"Hm? Ah, right." John shook his head, clearing out the memories, and then said, "You two are good at managing, right? And you know how to work with mortals?"
Qing Long blinked and then slowly nodded his head. "Yes. I don't know if Master recalls, but before you defeated me I ran the strongest martial sect in the Eastern Kingdoms."
"Oh right." John nodded. "The Blue Dragon Sect... I forgot about them."
Qing Long's eyes widened. "F-Forgot?!"
"Mmhm. After you left, there was a giant power struggle about who was the real successor and then it caved in on itself."
Qing Long froze and then he slowly lowered his head, staring at the ground.
John frowned, placing a hand on his chin.
Now that he thought about it, if the place collapsed after the leader vanished, maybe Qing Long wasn't that good at management...
John glanced over at Bai Hu and said, "What about you?"
"Yes, Master John!" The white-haired man jumped to his feet and thumped his chest. "In the Three Realms I transformed the scattered Western Reaches into the Western Empire! With my business acumen and management, we gathered the disparate resources and built the infrastructure to tower among all the other forces in the lower realms!"
John's eyes lit up. "That's right... I remember now. You ran the auction houses."
Bai Hu nodded. "That is correct."
"Great!" John clapped his hands together and then materialized a pair of chairs for the two men. "Grab a seat, you two. It's time to talk business."
Qing Long blinked, snapping out of his daze, and then said, "Business? Here?"
Bai Hu let out a feral smile. "Excellent. So rather than a physical domination, you intend for economic control... How fitting."
John waved his hand, sending the two men into the chairs before dragging both forward. After that, he flicked his wrist, causing a pair of papers to fly towards Bai Hu and Qing Long.
Qing Long grabbed his first, the former Blue Dragon staring at the sheet of paper. "This is...?"
"A contract."
Bai Hu grabbed his sheet and frowned, reading it over. "A contract?"
John nodded and leaned back in his chair, kicking up his feet. "That's right. A contract. Specifically, a work contract written on self-binding soul parchment."
Bai Hu's eyes widened and he quickly tried to throw the piece of paper away.
Qing Long jumped out of his chair and tried to do the same.
But both of their efforts were useless.
No matter how much they swung their arms, the piece of paper stuck to them like it was a part of their own skin.
John grinned. "Welcome to Myth Incorporated, Chief Financial Officer Bai Hu. And you as well, Chief Operator Officer, Qing Long." John smiled and said, "I have high expectations for the both of you."
Light flashed and the papers vanished. At the same time, the 'air' around Bai Hu and Qing Long changed. No, their appearances had changed as well.
Bai Hu was smaller now. Rather than a towering beast of a man, he was just tall, around two meters in height. His muscles had shrunk as well, making him look more like a fitness model rather than a heavy-weight body builder. His feral gaze was still there, along with his golden eyes, but his sharp face had been softened, more wild than beastly. Of course, his pure white hair remained the same.
As for Qing Long... Not much changed. His eyes were still sharp. His body was still thin and wiry. In fact, the only real difference was that his hair had changed from pure dark blue to a raven black that looked blue in the light.
Both of them were still different from ordinary people. After all, there was no hiding the fact that the two looked like models. Neither was there hiding the bone-deep confidence that both men carried, the sort of charm and charisma that could raise nations. And, dressed in sleek modern suits rather than their robes, they seemed like the sort that would instantly draw a crowd of women the moment they walked out the doors.
But at the same time, the spiritual and divine energy that the two radiated had been sealed away, making them nothing more than ordinary mortals.
Well, as ordinary as one could get while having divine physiques.
They wouldn't be able to go around knocking down buildings in a rampage, but they also wouldn't be killed by a nuclear blast.
Bai Hu reacted first. He growled and then slammed his fist on the table. "You devious bastard...! So you don't intend to forgive us at all, do you?!"
John shook his head. "You're misunderstanding."
"What's there to misunderstand!?" Bai Hu roared and then said, "You stripped away my Authority! My Essence! And since this world has no spiritual energy, I can't even use any martial techniques!"
"And those are all unnecessary." John leaned back and said, "I told you, didn't I? This is Earth. My home."
"You-!"
"Wait a moment, Bai Hu." Qing Long stepped forward and grabbed the other man's shoulder.
Bai Hu growled and shrugged it off. But he listened, stepping back.
Qing Long gave him a grateful smile and then looked at John. "Master John. You said this is your home... Do you mean that this is your original home? The world prior to your arrival in the Three Realms?"
John nodded. "That's right."
Well, it wasn't completely true. This Earth was a bit different from the one he was kidnapped from, but it was essentially the same.
A bright look shone in Qing Long's eyes. "Then you accomplished it? The journey across the Universe itself? Did the essence of the Golden Dragon allow you to reach that far?"
Bai Hu scoffed. "As if. Even if he managed to assimilate that Essence and Authority, he would need to be a transcendent to step into the Universe."
John sighed. "Look, we're wasting time." He waved his hand and split up the pile of papers on his desk, sending one stack to Bai Hu and another to Qing Long. "You should understand your job duties from the contract, so get to it."
Qing Long sighed. "This... I suppose it is better than being eaten like Grandfather..."
Bai Hu growled and tossed the papers aside. "I've had enough! If you think for one second that I, the Divine White Tiger Bai Hui, will lower my head to do paperwork, then you're-"
John narrowed his eyes, releasing a bit of his power. "I'm what?"
"Y-You're..." Bai Hu's eyes widened and he gulped. "Y-You're a transcendent?!"
John smiled.
Qing Long groaned and said, "The heavens are blind! What are they doing allowing such a scoundrel to become a transcendent?! What will become of the young maidens!?"
John coughed and withdrew his powers. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm happily married now."
Silence.
The former Azure Dragon and the White Tiger looked at each other. And then both of them broke out into laughter.
Bai Hu slapped his leg, chuckling. "That's the best joke I've ever heard! You? The Cheating Bastard? Married?!" He wiped tears away from his eyes and looked at John. "Who's the Mistress then? Wait!" He held up his hand. "Let me guess. Is it Celestial Princess Yue?"
John's eyes lit up. "That's right." He smiled. "Wow. Are we that suited for each other that it's a natural guess?"
Bai Hu had been captured long before John met Yue, so the White Tiger couldn't have heard about it. That meant that it really was a random guess.
John smiled, feeling happier than expected at the thought that someone else believed he and Yue were a good match.
Bai Hu blinked, suddenly becoming quiet. All traces of mirth vanished and then he said, "It's... Your wife is really Celestial Princess Yue?"
John nodded and then held up his left hand. "That's right. She even made me this wedding band. See?"
"H-Hold one moment, Master John." Qing Long held up his hand and said, "J-Just to confirm. Your wife is Celestial Princess Yue? The once-in-existence prodigy born with Perfection as her Dao? The unyielding ice maiden who frozen heart was said to be as eternal as her father's rule?"
"Hm?" John turned to look at the man and then said, "Oh right. I guess I captured you before I married Yue as well so you wouldn't know... But yes. That's her."
Bai Hu lowered his head and said, "My apologies, Master. This lowly self will begin his work immediately." Mumbling that, Bai Hu knelt to the ground and gathered up his paperwork.
Qing Long, on the other hand, stared at John with shock. "Forget being blind. Before Master John, there might as well not be any heavens at all." He shook his head and said, "To think that you could capture even the eternal maiden..."
John coughed, his ears turning red. "W-Well, she's not quite a maiden anymore..."
Bai Hu froze and then he cursed. "Dammit! It's enough that bastard is a transcendent! Why does he have to surpass us in that way as well?!"
John rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling a bit sheepish. He cleared his throat and said, "A-Anyway... About your new jobs here on Earth..."