1 Go Back... TO THE BEGINING!

"OH YES!" I shouted as I ran my three fingered hands over my glorious scale and plate covered giant space lizard man bod, "Suck it Angry Mango! You thought you could twist my sexy lizard bod into a shitslinging ape bod for all time with your infinite mana bullshit, but I have cast you to the ground with the powers of my thick juicy cock! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Babe, it's neat that we can now shapeshift back to our Mass Effect bodies, but did you take any time to notice that despite us being gone for over a hundred years, the hotel room looks exactly the same?" Jack rained on my lizard daddy parade by pointing out that poignant fact out in her smaller Mass Effect 3 reskin.

Despite the wonder of finally becoming a shapeshifter and regaining my honor as a Krogan, I did in fact notice that we had returned to the same hotel room we left a hundred years ago and that it looked like a drunken couple had fucked their way through to fabric of the universe in it quite recently. Place still stunk in fact.

Ending the celebration of my cock's victory over the manflesh oppression, I pulled out my portal gun and checked the read out to be sure of what had occurred. Then I promptly pumped my fist in victory.

"Not only has my cock conquered interdimensional travel and evil body morphing magic, he has made time itself his bitch! Good boy." I shouted as I petted my smooth lizard dick, "We landed just after we left!"

"No way!" Jack grinned, "So all that bitching and moaning about never seeing everyone again and all that other shit is out the window."

"Hell yeah." I clenched my fist in victory, "The omniverse is ours to travel guilt free! And check this out." I gestured for her to check out the screen on my portal gun, "Not only are we back were we left, but we can follow ourselves through their jumps."

"Why the fuck would we want to do that?" Jack scoffed.

"Cause they went to Pokémon instead of Star Wars." I grinned and clicked a button that projected a gif of Jack and Grunt landing on Professor Oak and starting to tear him apart with their teeth.

"Wouldn't we just, you know, land on ourselves and eat them?" Jack scrunched her eyebrows.

"Naw, game recognizes game so we'd join in on the Prof Chow Sesh." I denied that possibility then smacked the side of the portal gun a few times, "And now we are calibrated to drop on a virgin version of that universe and can fuck around on our own if co-op isn't our thing."

"Second option. Fuck babysitting our younger selves again." Jack spat.

"Fine by me." I grinned, "I'd rather roll a random drop than eat Professor Oak anyways. His life's work is empty and he can't tell if he is looking at a boy or a girl anymore. Lame."

Putting away the portal gun, I scooped Jack up by the waist and spun around.

"We're back, baby!" I shouted in glee, "And together we're gonna run around, Jack, we're gonna... do all kinds of wonderful things, Jack. Just you and me, baby. The outside world is our enemy, Jack... we're the only.... friends we've got, Jack! It's just Jack and Grunt. Jack and Grunt and their adventures, babe.. JACK AND GRUNT FOREVER AND FOREVER A HUNDRED YEARS Jack and Grunt.. some...things.. Me and Jack and Grunt runnin' around and... Jack and Grunt time... a- all day long forever.. all a - a hundred days Jack and Grunt! forever a hundred times.... OVER and over Jack and Grunt... adventures dot com.. W W W dot at Jack and Grunt dot com w..w..w... Jack and Grunt adventures.. ah- hundred years..... every minute Jack and Grunt dot com.... w w w a hundred times... Jack and Grunt dot com...."