1 RETREAT

Tiresome day it was. Days , I prefer to be tiresome. There shouldn't be even a single moment to rest, mind and body should crave for some seconds of recess , but you are unwilling to offer the most sought solace.No disturbing interferences and no haunting memories. Some may call it reinventing yourself but it's simply confining to within. And then by end of the day, finally you have to  feel yourself existing no more and all your bones free from flesh .Then the old CHAIR will tempt you , like the dark sky tempts moon ; to lie , to hug and float all over her and thus offering her the utmost charm and him the most sought solace.

I accepted the tempting invitation and leaned back on the chair . The chair opening it's mouth swallowed me and it was my toe that finally went in. The mighty chair closed its mouth and I was trapped inside. There are some traps , you love to be trapped. When you find no way out , you have to go in , deeper inside. Me too went in. The trail through paths new and terrains unknown. 

I opened my eyes and found myself seated on that quite familiar boulder over the riverbank. The breeze had the soothening magic that washed all the strain and pain from my body and soul. It was simply beautiful. The river flowing wlid , carrying whatever touched her on the flow. I am always jealous of her. I wanted to be like her . Swift and mad wanderer. Wished to flow like her or I wanted to be carried by her. But coward I was. Not brave enough to touch or sail with her till the very moment. I looked across. The light is still bright. The light from the other side of river . The magic light that fascinated me always , right from my childhood. I wished I could reach there .I wished I could see it from a hand's distance. It was burning bright. The light that penetrate darkness . The light , I heard and knew belonged to the deity ; Devi locked in the temple !

I remember what my friends and family told. The temple , the deity , the light and her magical powers. None ever dared to cross the river to offer flowers or offerings. The river they believed hid a vicious snake waiting to bite those who step into it. The snake protected the temple and enslaved deity inside. I always thought why freedom is denied to the most powerful. Locked inside in a stony cabin Devi might be suffocating. How could she bless us when her own freedom is restricted? The biggest paradox I think. Confined and restrained inside and forced to hear all our concerns and ever ready to grant us our wishes. The supreme captive .

Darkness spread all over. The light of Devi shone brighter and brighter.  I looked deep into the river and could see nothing but the bright light spread all over. Once again I lifted my head and looked across. The light was scorching my eyes. The light , the bright light. 

I have to go back. I stood up. They all are waiting for me. My friends , my family... All blessed and protected by enslaved Devi.

Suddenly I was pulled back and thrown into the river. I was afraid and shocked. The snake will bite me for sure. The current took me forward , hardly did I swim. I could see the light coming nearer and nearer. I could feel my heart pounding. I could feel something strange happening all around me. Yes , then I knew I was swimming , swimming fast towards the light. I was no longer afraid. Within no time I touched the bank and the magic light was there , near and bright . 

I stepped into the temple. "So you are finally here " .. Devi smiled , " Time to go , right? " I could barely move or talk. "Inside or outside I am glad always. People want me to be with them , wishing them , blessing them and caring them . I am happy to be their master slave and humble servant. And look at you.  You want me to be free. So let me be free for you..For you only " And she held my hands and walked. We walked on . The tempting river was flowing wild as always. I asked " I would like to flow like this river .. Could I ? "  " Sure. Here is my word. You will flow . Flow with me. Let's flow together ,  free , free as you alway wished . 

And the river took us far , far away from the temple. Far away from all.

The CHAIR never opened it's mouth again. I have been swallowed by the chair  forever. They , those who waited for me placed the chair in a corner of my house . The dusty chair still waits there with it's mouth shut. Who knows ? One day I may force open it's mouth from inside...

Deepak Nair...