1 Prolong

            You could say I was as normal a teen as the rest of them... except I really wasn't. I couldn't live a normal day-to-day life like my classmates and peers. I couldn't play with them the way I wanted to or hang out with them the way I wanted to. And even if I could, no one wanted to get any where near me. They all called me a monster, twitchy-girl, a freak... 

            I was the girl with the seizures, seizures so bad that I would be rendered unconscious and only know what happened as I always woke up in a hospital. My life was a mess, just like me.

            I just wanted to be normal, over everything else in the world a person could possibly want. I wanted people to like me and not snicker behind my back and call me things like "nose-bleed". What did I do to deserve such a curse? My parents and family try to be supportive, but I know I'm nothing but a nuisance and an annoyance. I know my life and my living causes them nothing but grief and empty-pockets. There's no benefit to having a daughter like me... 

            All I will ever do is rack up debt and bills, be a burden who needs constant attention, never be beneficial or have money thrown at me for being disabled, or charm some handsome prince to be by my side for the rest of my life and care for me. Nothing.. I am absolutely worse than nothing at all. At least nothing isn't a hassle. How could it be if it doesn't exist? 

             How much better off would my family be without me? How much better off would everyone be? I disrupt classes with my uncontrollable outbursts of shivering and flailing that almost always ends with me crashing into something. I just wanted to poof out of existence.  I just wanted to not be a burden any longer. I  just wanted to not wake up in a hospital, to not have pain, to not be looked at as if I were a disgusting pile of garbage; I just wanted to be me, without all the bad. 

            I couldn't understand why I had to suffer. I couldn't understand why no one could love me. I couldn't understand why I was so outcast-ed for something I had no control over. I didn't want to seize. I didn't want to quiver and quake and scare everyone. I didn't want my nose to bleed or my eyes role up into my head. I didn't...

             I couldn't control that...

            And I was sorry for it.