4 Pushing the limit

In this small world predominated by intense emotions

I hid behind a tough surface in order to be spared

By the suffocating anguish either caused by lies or fake devotion

And paying the price of safety with loneliness I could hardly bear…

At night I could feel the hollowness in my chest

Eating away the remaining fond memories

But why do I still find myself craving for that distant tenderness?

When I vowed I wouldn't succumb to such sentimentality.

Break me, Take me, I hear my soul scream

Like a vulnerable little child exposed to the world

Why only when I break down do I have the time to ask myself

Is it only in pushing the limits I could feel my life's worth?

I throw myself into the mercy of oblivion

If I cease to think of anything else only then could I ever achieve peace.

But peace I know is just an illusion

A temporary diversion from the chaos we all know exists.

What is the real purpose of my existence?

I have long since forgotten the justification of living,

If life is what you call this endless, restless dance.

But though beaten and weary my pride won't let me just give in…

How long will I able to stay this way?

When inside of me's already torn into pieces?

How much more should I endure before I fade away?

But all the bitterness and sadness won't escape my lips.

Pushing the limit, I'll continue to face the bleak world

Until my last breath I'd hide my tears and continue to smile

"Wound me, bind me, rip me apart," I scream to the world I no longer care.

But I know inside my heart I wish to tell the world I once was there.

In pushing the limit I'm able to forget my greatest fear

The fear of acknowledging I have so many things in this chaotic world that I hold dear…