11 nightmare

Hyun-ki

An icy white haze surrounded me like snow, painfully bright and stubborn. My footsteps echoed against the pearly white flooring underneath me as I walked toward something I couldn't quite see just yet.

It felt like I had been walking for hours, or even days. Time seemed to be nonexistent as I kept going and going, no end in sight.

However, I couldn't get my legs to stop. They were moving on their own accord, bringing me to something that surely must've been a sight to see.

A wind gusted around me, blowing through my hair and leaving my platinum bangs disheveled on my forehead. I brought a hand up to run through my locks, pulling it back down once the strands were out of my eyes. In the corner of my eye, something on my hand caught my attention.

I brought my hand up to my face and felt a gasp escape my quickly tightening throat.

My palm was smeared in a crimson liquid, deep and starting to dry slightly. As I tried to blink the image away, it didn't disappear. The color seemed to only get more and more apparent, as if mocking me.

Before I could do anything more, a thick fog enveloped mr, blocking the sight of my hand, my hearing, and only leaving my touch and smell.

In less than a second, the haze dissipated. Less than a yard ahead was a scene that burned through my corneas and stained my brain.

My feet started moving again, even though I begged someone, anyone to stop it and let me get out of this never-ending loop.

I was getting closer and closer to a wreck.

A black car sat in the middle of the white abyss surrounding me. Skid-marks stained the pristine white ground, leaving a messy trail of loops and zigzags. The rear of the car was bashed in, smashed so horribly that one of the back doors were half off of it's hinges. Smoke trailed eerily from the vehicle, the whole scene looking far too real to be just a figment of my imagination.

The closer I got to it, the more I could see in detail. It was then that I realized it wasn't just any car; it was Chanwoo's.

He'd gotten the car as a graduation gift from his parents. I'd spent countless summer nights in the passenger seat as we sailed through the city, finding something new to do each time. It was never boring, and every day was one I wouldn't want to spend any differently.

My breath caught in my throat as my legs finally ceased their relentless movement just a few feet away from the car. No sound resonated around me. All I could hear was my own breathing and the pounding of my heart in my ears as I became more and more anxious with every passing second.

The air around me seemed to thicken with every breath I took as I glanced through the passenger side window to see inside of the car. I couldn't see much, as the airbag had obscured my field of vision.

I rounded the car slowly, swallowing thickly as I looked through the window on the driver's side.

My heart seemed to snap, crumbling through my stomach and soaring to the floor, falling with a shattering crack.

Inside of the car was Chanwoo.

His head was craned forward against the steering wheel, head turned toward me as he sat unresponsive.

"Chanwoo!" I screamed, pounding on the window as hard as I could.

Nothing.

I started to hyperventilate, my lungs burning and unable to fill me with enough fresh air. I grabbed the door's handle firmly and pulled to open it. It was locked.

I pulled as hard as I could, banged and kicked the door over and over again until I was so weak that it hurt to even stand. I fell to my knees beside the window and stared through it dazedly.

Chanwoo's eyes were open, just staring blankly ahead of him, unmoving and numb. I lowered my head, feeling tears pour down my cheeks and cascade along my neck until they got lost in the fabric of my shirt.

I looked back up at him, and flinched backwards when his previously still, drained eyes re-adjusted just slightly; just enough to where he wasn't staring out at nothing anymore- he was looking at me.

Blood poured from somewhere on his head, running down his forehead and over his cheeks. I whimpered as his neck was craned at an unnatural angle, snapping as he lifted it to look at me better.

"Chanwoo!" I screeched, scrambling to my feet, "Open the door! I'm here, open the door!" I banged on the window, pleading to him. His usually soft, warm, intoxicating eyes that I adored remained cold, emotionless, and hazy as he stared at me through the glass.

The tears still bleeding from my eyes slightly obscured my vision, but I could see enough- and it was too much to handle.

He was broken- bleeding and bruised in so many places that I suddenly felt sicker than ever.

My head began to spin as I could suddenly hear him perfectly, as if there was no glass separating us between.

"Hyunie," he started, a ghost of a smile on his bloody lips, "do you see it? The blood on your hands?" I looked away from his face that was becoming more and more horrifying with every second and looked down at my hands.

Before, only my right hand had been dirtied by an unknown red substance, but now both of my palms were drenched in warm, slick blood that dripped from my fingers and down onto the cold white floor at my feet.

I looked back at him through the glass, gulping as the unfamiliar, terrifying grin became even wider on his face.

"It's mine." His voice was chilling, sending goosebumps all down my spine as he began to chuckle. It was quiet at first, but grew into manic laughter, floating all around me as I tried to cover my ears.

It didn't work. No matter how hard I tried to stop it, his voice was in my head, trapping me in a nightmare that I couldn't escape.

"No," I cried, sobbing as his laughter continued, "please, no!" I couldn't hold up my weight any longer and fell onto all fours, lowering my head to the ground and covering my eyes.

My bloody hands were wet against my face and the sharp metallic scent ghosted through my nose.

"It's your fault, Hyunie." Chanwoo's laughter died down, his voice tired and raspy as he coughed and hacked before continuing, "If you would've been there, you could've stopped it. You could have been the one driving. You should've been there with me."

I screamed, pounding my fists against the floor, begging it to all stop. I couldn't hear any more of it.

My head spun faster and faster, until everything was just a white blur with minuscule black spots dotting my vision.

I was fading, my body shutting down as I succumbed to the darkness pulling at me.

As I slipped under completely, his words were the last thing I heard before everything turned black,

"It should've been you."

I shot up, my chest heaving and my body shaking as I tried my best to fill my lungs with air.

My bedroom was dark, save for the moonlight leaking in through my parted curtains on the opposite wall.

I placed a cold hand on my chest and felt my stuttering heart begin to slow as I let my eyes fall shut in realization.

It was a dream.

The worst one I'd ever had, for that matter.

My hands moved to cover my eyes, supporting my head and giving me a place to hide in all at once.

My lips quivered as a broken sob wracked through me, leaving me shaking and feeling worse than I thought possible.

I let his words sink in- everything that he'd said.

It made me wonder if he thought those things but just never said them to me. Why would he? Chanwoo cares about everyone and everything too much. He would never do or say anything to deliberately hurt me.

That made it even worse; the fact that he probably was thinking those things all the time, but just bit his tongue because he doesn't want to make his pathetic best friend cry.

I swallowed back another sob and angrily wiped my cheeks, trying to desperately dry my tears.

I took a deep breath and sniffed, my nose stuffy and most likely bright pink due to my breakdown. I turned my head to the left and glanced at the clock on my bedside table through blurry eyes.

It was only three, but I knew I wouldn't be getting anymore sleep tonight; not after this.

I leaned over and clicked the lamp on, causing the room to light up with a soft, somewhat comforting glow.

I leaned back against the headboard and folded my hands in my lap, my bottom half still enveloped in my warm duvet that suddenly felt a bit suffocating.

I let my eyes slip shut lightly and allowed my thoughts to rein free, pouring out in a messy heap and seeming to float around the room, becoming louder by the second.

The more I thought about it, the more clear it became- and the worst part was that his words were entirely true.

It should have been me.