17 change of heart

Chanwoo

"Chanwoo," a soft, soothing voice woke me from my slumber, causing me to grunt and roll over in the soft bed and blankets I was currently tangled in, "Chan, I've got to get to work. I'll be home at four. Be sure to rest today, okay?"

I hummed, trying to open my sleepy eyes to wish him a proper goodbye, but my eyelids felt much too heavy. With a soft pat on my shoulder, Hyun's footsteps cascaded out of the room, the only other sound announcing his exit being the click of the front door closing.

I stretched my arms over my head and groaned out into the cool air of the bedroom as I eventually opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling.

Today is the first day since Hyun welcomed me to stay with him that I'll be alone. He'll be at work for, according to the clock on the bedside table next to me, seven more hours.

I slowly breathed in a breath of air, nuzzling my nose in the comforter slightly. The familiar scent of Hyun-ki clung to them, causing my eyes to fall shut and a warm tickle to spread in my gut.

I snapped my eyes open, feeling a warm blush rise to my cheeks as I realized just what I was doing. I cleared my throat and sat up, practically throwing myself off of the bed and making my way to the bathroom to relieve myself.

After washing up, taking my time since there was no rush, I stepped out into the hallway and looked around for something to do.

I stepped into the kitchen, toweling my freshly washed hair as I searched the refrigerator for something to eat. I was sifting through the groceries Hyun and I bought the other day when something on the last shelf caught my eye.

On a porcelain plate was a perfectly put together breakfast. Omurice was dressed with a smiley face made of ketchup and surrounded by sliced fruit.

I couldn't stop the airy laugh that pushed past my grinning lips as I pictured Hyun-ki slaving away in the kitchen to prepare a breakfast before he went to work.

I removed the plate from the fridge and grasped the little sticky note that was stuck to the plastic wrap that covered the meal.

'Eat me, Chanwoo! :)'

The note was scrawled in a familiar, neat handwriting that I knew so well. My heart warmed uncontrollably as I shook my head softly, not believing just how lucky I was to have a best friend that cared for me so much.

My imagination spiraled as I imagined a certain platinum haired boy scrambling around the kitchen in his baby blue apron I'd bought him last year. I imagined his bangs pushed off of his forehead as he tried his very best to make the meal perfect for me.

I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture of the perfectly plated food, sending it to Hyun along with a message.

'Thanks for the breakfast, cutie.'

I put my phone on the counter after it sent and made my way to the couch to eat the home cooked meal. After I finished, I cleaned up, making sure there were no crumbs in sight before strolling back to Hyun-ki's bedroom.

I sighed as I took in the sight around me. I felt guilty as I observed the messy bed and quickly untidying room. I got to work immediately, making the bed and even going as far as fluffing the pillows before vacuuming the carpet and making sure all of my clothes were put away neatly where they belong.

Wiping a bead of sweat from my brow, I sat on the foot of the bed. The clock read half past noon, and I tried to ignore the tinge of disappointment that circled in my stomach. I'd be home alone for a few more hours, and I felt like I'd already done everything that I could to make time pass by faster.

I cleaned, ate breakfast, showered, and sat around. What else was there for me to do? I was strictly told not to drive under any circumstances as a safety precaution for a couple more weeks. The way everyone was putting it made it sound like I was bedridden.

There was nothing I hated more than not being able to come and go as I please, and being alone made it harder to cope with.

I would never admit it to anyone, but being alone often meant that I would get lost in my head. I would overthink things that didn't matter, and I would let myself dwell on things that I couldn't control.

Hyun-ki knew this about me without me ever having to tell him. He says that I'm different when I'm alone; that I change into a smaller, weaker me that shows a vulnerable side of myself that I don't allow others to see. He says it's a side of me that he savors when he gets to see it.

I never quite understood why he would try and remember me that way- less chipper, obnoxious and outspoken but instead more solemn and stuck in my head. He told me that it's because it's a side of me that I don't feel comfortable enough to show anyone else but him. He sees it as a gift, even though I see it as a weakness.

It's things like this that make me wonder how someone like Yoo Hyun-ki even exists in this world. He's pure, sweet, kind, caring, witty, shy, and determined. He's everything that people aspire to be all rolled into one person. He doesn't realize it, and that's what's most confusing about him.

He overthinks his actions, and chooses to help others instead of himself. If he had to choose between saving a stranger and saving himself, he'd always choose them. He focuses on his weaknesses, but never fails to remind me of my strengths.

It's painful to see someone with so much good in their heart not give themselves credit. However, I suppose a hero wouldn't be one if they boasted about all of their good deeds.

I finally decided on watching movies until Hyun got home, settling myself on the couch and snuggling under a throw blanket that was extremely soft and welcoming, just like the one who'd purchased it.

I let my mind run for a while, thinking about everything and nothing, but images of a certain someone continued to swirl around in my head.

It was starting to get slightly frustrating. Why was I thinking of him so much? Yes, he's my best friend, and it's normal to think of someone you care about. Yet, it was happening more and more often nowadays.

I never felt this way before. Hyun-ki was my best friend of many years. We did everything together. We saw each other at our best and our worst. There was really no reason for me to start feeling these things out of nowhere, but my brother's words started to push at me.

'He's in love with you. It's so obvious.'

There was no way someone could be in love with another person for this long without coming clean. That would be complete and utter torture. How are you supposed to go on ignoring how you feel when you see the person holding your heart on a daily basis?

Most importantly, what did all this mean for me? I've dated girls since I was fourteen. I went on countless dates and never once questioned it.

I never had any feelings for guys like I had for girls. The soft feelings I always felt for Ki were friendly feelings that came from loving him like a best friend; loving him like a brother.

Why was this insistent tickle coming to life when he was around me in any way, and why wasn't I able to shake it off? Something was different, but I refused to dwell on it too much. It would drive me insane.

I shook my head and tried to think of something else, to waver my thoughts from his smell, his face, and his voice as I curled up underneath the blanket and tried to drift off into a sweet world of dreams that could hopefully make the time fly before Hyun got home from work.

As I started to finally succumb to the soft lull of sleep tugging behind my eyes, those soft doe eyes and long lashes burned into my brain stubbornly.

I tried my best to ignore the fact that I could feel something changing in my heart- small, but most definitely there.