22 Starry Knight_22

<< Anah's P.O.V >>

The comforting silence lasted a while, during those few minutes, my arms firmly around his back and my clenched fingers tightly holding his hoodie. In those few minutes, I let go of the pain in my chest and let those tear flow freely. Once we were far enough from my house, he parked to the closest deserted area.

As he parks his bike, I wipe away my tears with my wrist and slowly loosen my grip on his back. I let go as Quillion gets off first, he turns around to look at me; his left hand on the bike seat, blocking me from getting down. Still sitting on his bike, his gaze paralyzes me, and as I hold his gaze, my heart skips a beat. Unexpectedly, he lifts his right hand to hold my face, rubbing his thumb on my wet cheek. I flinch at his touch, my cheek still hurting from earlier, also my swollen eyes are not a pretty scene, so he took a step forward. his touch more gentle. He is too close, his warmth reaching my cold, still-wet-from-the-shower, body. Quillion noticing my bad attempt to dry my hair, he breaths into his hand before taking a hold of my right hand and starts rubbing the heat on to it.

"Better?" he finally speaks, locking his hazel eyes like magnet to mine. He has no expression on making it hard to interpret what he is thinking at the moment. I nod my head in reply, I look down at my feet in hesitation before looking up.

"I had a bad argument with my parents," I explain, not looking at him, yet.

"This from them?" he asks about my bruised pink cheek. This makes me look up and I find anger clearly visible in his eyes.

"It's okay, it doesn't hurt anymore. I just – Thank you. Thank you for checking up on me and thank you for coming for me," I stumble on my words, flushed cheeks in embarrassment, I look away. That's when his warm fingers on my chin, shifts me to face him.

"Are you okay?" if looks could kill, my parents would be dead. Honestly, if I didn't know him, I'd have cowered in fear by now because his hazel eyes were filled with anger and possessiveness. I lean in to hold his strong arm that is cupping my swollen cold face and reassuringly smile at him.

"I am now, that you are here. Keep me company for a while, won't you? I can't be gone for long anyways," I bring my fingers up his arm as he slides his arm down to feel my fingers. Quillion starts playing with my fingers when they meet, for a while he stares at them, engrossed by them, as if they were some gem. As if it were the most obvious and normal thing to do, he fits his hand into mine, holding it then putting them into his hoodie pocket. He turns his attention to the stars before lightly squeezing them, it was like he was convincing himself that I am real.

"The night sky is oddly satisfying tonight," lost in the sky, he utters those words consumed in euphoria.

"Let's sit down?" I state more than question, letting go of his hand, I hold on to my own hands as some really negative thoughts start taking over.

'He'll hate you too, once he gets to know you. He'll leave, just like everyone else,' a voice echoes in my head reminding me where I stand before I start dreaming.

"Sure," Quillion's worried voice makes me look everywhere but at him, he takes a few steps away from his bike. Sitting down crossed legs, he pats on the ground motioning me to join and I do, right after I grab my mickey blanket from my bag. I offer him the blanket, but he politely refuses; taking my seat behind him, I cover myself completely wrapping the blanket around my tiny rolled up figure. Looking up at the night sky, I observe the lively stars, captivated by their beauty, the loneliness being stuck apart, their kindness for lighting the paths of the lost, and the pain of spending the rest of their lives alone.

"I'm an unwanted child. This is not the first time this has happened, but I guess I didn't have someone who'd check up on me back then," still staring at the stars, I can feel Quillion's eyes on me the whole time, patiently listening and waiting for me.

"I'm their 5th child. My mother miscarried her first 3 babies. The fourth baby was born ill, he didn't last a month. They were heartbroken but the pressure on my mother to give birth to a male heir only grew. They were very disappointed when they found out about me, my parents almost made the attempt to get rid of me. Apparently, their friend convinced them otherwise. My parents have loathed me my whole life, there hasn't been a day that doesn't go by - with them reminding me how unwanted I am or the disappointment I seem to be," I take a deep gasp as a tear trickles down my cheek, my chest felt painfully stuffy.

"Today, I caught my dad being over-the-line mean to my mother, so I stood up for her. And you know, I never really stand up for anyone, I tend mind my own business, also I'm the biggest coward I know. So, what I did today was very unlike me. In return for standing up for her, she slaps me -" as another pair of tears trickle down, I wipe them away with the back of my hand. Now, I shift my gaze to Quillion, watching his eyes, searching for judgement and a change, he might as well be ready to run off or something. To my disbelief he doesn't flinch, he is still watching me without hesitation waiting for me to finish.

"You know, sometimes I wonder. I wonder if I disappear like die disappear, maybe they would feel better. Maybe things would get quieter at home, if I didn't exist-" in a flash, my lips covered with his palm, my eyes bulging out in shock at what just happened.

"Don't you ever. Listen, I can't explain to you - about what you and I share. I know you see it too, so promise me to never disappear," he stutters as he slowly removes his hand from my mouth. His stutter delivers a goose bump down my back, something isn't right.

"My mother - she committed suicide when I was very young. Those panic attacks that you saw me go through a couple of days ago are a result of that. They happen every once in a while, but you are the first person to ever have successfully helped me during the episode," he explains. A tear falls down from his left eye and I couldn't help but lean in to wipe it away, I couldn't imagine his pain for all these years.

Before I know it, his hand is on his cheek on top of my hand, he leans into my touch like an innocent child. After a while, he brings our hands down and places it on his lap, watching them intently.

"It's colder when you let go." Pain and all those years of loneliness visible in his eyes.

"Can't I hold you a little longer?" Quilllion starts playing with my fingers again, like a little baby playing with their most treasured item, lost in fascination, he doesn't look at me.

"What if you get tired of me too?" the moment those words left my mouth, he looks at me. There is hint of anger hidden in his eyes followed by something I can't quite put my finger on.

"Never," despite the roughness behind his monotonous voice, this man truly deeply cares about me and I can tell. With that I scoot closer to him, sliding my arm into his, I offer my blanket and he gladly takes it this time.

My arm wrapped around Quillion's as he plays with my fingers, my head on his shoulder and his head on top of mine, we stay like that for who knows how long. All I know is that we needed this, the warmth in that moment – my heart stuck in my throat as tonight felt like eternity long.