7 Journal Entries_CH7

Anah's P.O.V

Rushing towards my room, my stomach still full from the ice cream, I head upstairs. On my way up, I take a quick peak in the kitchen to see if mother was anywhere visible. She was humming happily while steering whatever was in the pot, a sight new to my eyes.

Running up the stairs, I open the door to my not-so-large but not-so-tiny room. I drop my bag beside my night table, grab my black khamis and maroon pyjama pants before heading to my bathroom.

Splashing cold water after a long day always feels great. Catherine, my stuffed bunny, and Daniel, my stuffed puppy, look happy to see me back as they look upon me sitting by my window.

Looking out this window, I can see the street lights are turning on, signaling sundown, the streets are clearing out, the children are going home. Looking up, the moon is visible now and if I look hard enough, I think I see the stars surfacing too.

I find my safe haven by looking at the night sky, especially when trouble is around the corner. Others say I am searching for something, like a lost puppy, as my eyes look intently out my window. I often lose myself in the music from my YouTube playlist. I say this because I have noticed a few times, when our neighbors pass by our house, they give me a weird look before running along doing their business.

Placing my left palm on the window, I can tell tonight is going to be cold and that is okay. I liked the cold, more the reason for me to cuddle with Catherine and Daniel, to warm myself up. I call them my stuffed support. Okay, enough night sky searching for the evening.

I should get some writing done, journal entry time. I grab my favorite burger pen from my bedside table, get a hold of the key to my desk cabinet. I keep the key around my neck, in case someone decides to sneak around my room.

This key ensures my secrets stay untouched. I walk towards my desk, unlocking the locked cabinet, I grab my journal that laid in the midst of my other secrets.

I take a seat on my chair; I get comfortable in it. I pull my chair in, making sure the desk is close enough to my comfort zone. Unclipping my journal, holding the page marker, I flip my journal open.

~~ Dear Somebody,

Well hello there, how are you doing? Did you have a good day? Are you okay? I know I'm not there to help you get through today, in case you are having a bad day. I just want to let you know, if you are reading this, you can ask for a hug any time. It'll be my pleasure, because I know you wouldn't be reading this if I didn't trust you. ~~

*glass shatters*

What The!?

I quickly run downstairs to find my mother picking up the broken plate, I rush to her to, grabbing the broom, I start brushing all the area where the shards were now shattered. As I'm about to grab a cardboard to carry all the broken pieces I just collected, I heard my mom wince.

"Shit, you can't even do this right. What a useless child," her taunting voice pisses me off, but I continue to carry the shards towards the bin, open it and throw them in. I silently walk back to my room, wishing I had just stayed put, despite knowing it would have done me no good.

After all, the result are always the same, I'm the burden of the family. I wonder when my mother got tired of my existence, her constant taunting would eventually pile up causing my untimely break downs in the midst of night. Little did anyone know the effects this had on my mental health and my sleep.

Night terrors started taking over after the first wave hit me, so I had to stop sleeping. The only way I could save myself out of those cold, painful, lonely and terrifying nightmares that would spring me out of sleep, drenched in a sweaty shaking body, sobbing my heart out. During those nights, I would hug myself tight like I were trying to keep my soul in one piece, this was before I bought Catherine and Daniel. After they came home with me, there hasn't been a night I haven't slept without them with me in bed.

~~ So, I had an okay day, the sky was warm and welcoming today. Well, a new transfer student is my seatmate as of today, I hope this year goes smoothly. You know, he has beautiful eyes and well I noticed his tattoo... I know it was rude of me for staring, but it was beautiful! It was a rose bud with loads of thorns, I felt like it spoke to me. Crazy, I know. Anyways, what's weirder is that Yelda and I met him again, at the ice cream shop. Talk about coincidence, right. He is quiet attractive, I have to be honest but I'm not head over heels for him like the rest of the girls in my class.

Enough about Quillion, I have decided I want to pursue a career in the medical field. What do you think?

You know, I miss you. I wish we would meet already. I don't even know if you exist... but hey, who can blame a girl for hoping. I have yet to know you but I'm sure, by the time you read my journal, you will have become a huge part of my life. During hard times, I imagine you waiting for me and hopefully thinking of me too and that thought itself keeps me going. You could be a good friend, my soulmate or my life partner. Either way, when you read these, I want you to know I love you already and I hope you stay strong and hope to meet me too. ~~

Well mother is in a foul mood today so it's going to be a long night. She is at it again, yup the taunting. I guess I told you about it two years back. Anyways, You just take care okay. Dream about me so you know I exist. I miss you everyday.

~~ GoodBye. ~~

*Sigh*

I close my journal, put down my pen and stretch my fingers. Looking at my white ceiling, I get lost.

"I'll be good enough one day, won't I?" I didn't realize I had said that out loud till mother called out.

"Who are you talking to! Come down, at least be helpful with serving the table," her voice echoed across the house.

*Door closes*

"How was your day?" a soft voice asked kindly, that is mother. Yes, the same person who was screaming across the house few minutes ago.

"Tiring as always" replied an exhausted rusted voice. Father is home, I hurry out of my room and rush down the stairs.

"Salam Baba," I greet my father before going into the dinning room to get it ready for dinner. This once I want this night to be over peacefully. I walk to the kitchen and grab the dishes mother had already served in bowls ready for table.

All prepared for dinner, my father walks in freshened up and mother following him. We take a seat; I wait for my parents to start filling up their plates. I am famished, I guess the ice cream wasn't enough after all.

Done with dinner, I clear up the table and head to my room. Closing my door behind, I sit on my bed, reach for my laptop. I turn it on, punch in the pin and find myself scrolling through my Facebook page.

YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE

Y: GIRL! I found Quillion on FB!

A: Yelda, you really need to stop bothering the dude, he might run away before you get a chance to talk to him again.

Y: Hey! A girl can dream. Do you want to add him?

A: Nah, I'll pass. I'm sure, just like you the rest of the school would be stalking him at this moment.

Y: HEHE, true. Oh well, your loss. Talk to you later.

A: Bye.

*ding*

YOU HAVE A NEW FRIEND REQUEST

QUILLION V. WILD HAS SENT YOU A FRIEND REQUEST

Wait What??!