17 Chapter 16

“Hey, where did you go to?” he asks me, concern etched onto his face now.

I give him a small smile and shake my head. “Just thinking about how full of it you are,” I tell him, trying to brush off his concern.

“Just goes to show how sad and pathetic I’ve become for you to think I’m full of it when I’m being completely and deadly serious,” he tells me, his tone matching his words and making me raise an eyebrow at him. “How was lunch with your misguided lover, by the way? Since you ran off and I couldn’t run interference,” he says accusingly.

I scoff at him. “Do not call him that. He’s nothing to me. And lunch was nothing I couldn’t handle. I’ve known the guy my entire life. I think I can handle him just fine on my own. Besides, he’s not some evil villain all of a sudden just because he doesn’t want me in his life anymore,” I tell him, meeting his intense green gaze.

“Now, Nat, don’t lie to me. I don’t lie to you,” he lectures me in a scolding tone.

My heart lurches at the sound of my nickname falling from his lips. It probably shouldn’t have sounded so natural or good coming from him. Especially when Colton had always been the only person allowed to even think of uttering it. I huff at him and wind a blade of grass around a finger, then throw it back to the ground.

“It was weird but fine. Nothing bad happened at least. It was a very civil and mature lunch,” I reassure him. “He even offered to take our precious Colton Jr for the weekend so that I can have a stress-free weekend,” I tac on, to convince him even more.

“Very nice and mature of him,” he echoes, his eyebrows furrowed and his bottom lip poking out just the tiniest bit. Giving his true thoughts away. “He definitely did that just being good old Colton and not because of, I don’t know, him being in love with you or something.”

“He’s not in love with me and there is no other motive behind it. Stop trying to think too hard or you’ll spring a hemorrhage in your brain or something,” I immediately shoot back at him, too used to people assuming just that and having to correct them. It was a lot more common to be heard when we were still friends so I’m not as fast about it as I used to be, but still.

He rolls his eyes at me, totally unfazed and not believing a word from my mouth. “Fine, whatever. But don’t try to sit here and say he’s nothing to you when we both know that’s not true,” he demands, while apparently choosing to let the other battle go.

A huge lump forms in my throat and I feel like I could throw myself to the bottom of the pit that’s now in my stomach and never land. Because he’s completely right, as usual. If Colton was absolutely nothing to me then he would have no effect on my life or me. But he’s had control of every aspect of it. “Okay, I’m still working on that part. Maybe I always will be. But it’s not how you think it is. He was just my best friend and that’s all there was to it.”

He breaks out into a huge smile, never being able to stay serious too long. “Relax, Nat. You’re not being interrogated. He was a huge part of your life. It’s completely understandable and no one is expecting you to be heartless about it. You can’t just turn things like that off. Especially when it’s all you’ve ever really know. You’re practically brainwashed to feel this way.”

“I’m not brainwashed,” I mumble, slightly irritated now because he may not expect me to be heartless about it, but I do.

“You get what I mean,” he says, rolling his eyes at me and throwing his arm over my shoulders, bringing me into his chest. “How about this, just don’t abandon me and drive me to the point of insanity again. My brain, nor heart, definitely won’t make it out alive from that again. You know, since you’re so worried about my health now.”

I laugh and shove at him playfully, which only makes him hold on to me tighter and me being able to feel his laughter vibrating through my body like a livewire. I feel myself instantly relax against his chest and let my defenses down for the first time in too long. His arms around me make me feel safe, if only for a moment. In this moment, it feels like we’re in our own little world and nothing bad can touch us. And even though, every nerve in my body is screaming at me that this is going to hurt, I let myself feel it just this once. I have to, or I think I’ll never be able to forgive myself.

I watch as one of his arms stretches mine out, he spreads his hand out against mine and places our fingertips together, just the ghost of a touch. I close my eyes and just let myself feel it, blocking out all other senses. Especially common sense. The sound of the bell signaling the end of gym rings through my body and senses, bringing reality crashing back onto me. I shoot up and hurriedly grab my things, preparing to run away as fast as possible.

“Not so fast, gorgeous. It looks like it’s going to rain soon.” And sure enough, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, it started drizzling down. “Let me give you a ride home.”

I bite my lip and contemplate his offer, but ultimately give in. It’s just a ride home. Nothing to it. I nod and let him lead me to his car. As I’m about to get in, I glance up and see Connor climbing onto his motorcycle, still oblivious to my gawking and everyone else around him. I watch him spin out of the parking lot and then climb into the passenger seat of Riley’s car. The drive to my house isn’t too far from the school so in about ten minutes we are pulling up in front of it.

“Thanks for the ride,” I tell him, focusing my gaze on the floorboard of his car before grabbing my things and getting out.

“Always,” he answers, shooting me his gentle but bright smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he tells me. “Oh, and don’t think I’ve forgotten that you didn’t promise me what I asked you to promise earlier,” he tells me.

I wink at him in response and then run to the front door of my house and enter, only hearing Riley drive off after I’m inside. I let a brief smile appear on my face at the thought. My mom won’t be home until later so I munch on a few grapes, and then head off to take a shower. Not long after I’ve finished my shower and gotten into my sleep tank top and shorts, I hear the doorbell ring. I run down the stairs to answer it and am faced with Colton.