1 Marmy

Ever since I was a child, I thought people lived forever. Kind of like when your pet fish dies and your parents buy you a new one before you noticed that pet was even missing. It's the innocence in you that makes you believe that everything lasts forever. I believed those lies for years and was completely oblivious to the world around me. That was until I found out the world was not made of cupcakes and rainbows.

My grandmother was in Greenville at the time of the accident. My mom's phone starts ringing off the hook. I let out a sigh of relief when she finally answers her phone. Turns out it is my grandfather letting her know that she needed to get to the hospital in Greenville as soon as possible.

"Sara!" my mom yells from the living room. "Hurry up, I need you here now!"

"Coming," I yell at the top of my lungs.

     My eyes roll to the back of my head as I let out a deep sigh. I opened my door and can feel my body starts to tremble as reality sinks in. I can see a river of tears streaming down my mother's face. I've never seen my mom in this kind of shock before.

She looked at me like a lost puppy dog and chokes on every word falling out of her mouth.

"Marmy fell and I have to go to the hospital in Greenville. I need you to stay here and take care of your brother. Your dad will be home soon."

She leaves the house without saying another word. The only thing running through my mind is if Marmy is okay or not and how bad the fall had to have been for my mom to be so frantic. I can feel a knot start to form in the pit of my stomach as I pondered the worst about my grandmother's condition. I don't even know how to interpret any of it.

A few hours later my dad arrives home and calls me and my brother into the living

room. Every bone inside my body starts shaking and I feel the pit of my stomach start turning inside out. My dad is having trouble trying to get the words to come out. Finally, the words just started spilling from his mouth.

           "Marmy is in a tremendous amount of pain and the doctors said there is no chance of her getting better." He pauses for a second. "Just remember she still loves you."

I can feel my heart sink, my palms start sweating, and tears starts bubbling in my eyes. I feel as if my entire body is trying to shut down.

My brother and I are sitting in complete silence, almost as if the breath has been knocked out of us. I can't believe a word my dad just said. Why is this happening to her? She doesn't deserve any of it. The sweetest grandmother ever is now destined to die and is barely holding on to the small thread of life she has left.

My dad starts to speak again, "From what the doctors have found out so far, she has blood-clot in her brain which is causing her to have a lot of problems mentally."

My brother and I hug our dad and rush into our rooms. I'm in a deep state of despair and the night has suddenly grown darker. Time seems to be passing at an exceedingly slow rate. My heart is pounding at the thought of her possibly not living much longer, which makes me feel as if I should've spent more time with her while I had the chance. I ended up sobbing myself to sleep.

A few months later we got a call that my grandmother had fallen again but this time it was closer to home. My grandmother was left in the car when my grandfather went to get groceries and she freaked out because she didn't know where she was, nor where my grandfather was.

She manages to open the door but loses her sense of balance. She takes maybe two steps away from the car and starts to fall. Unlike most people she doesn't know how to catch herself and ends up face planting. By the time my grandfather gets out to the car he sees a puddle of blood around her head, some of her teeth knocked out, and her face looks as if it got stampeded by a million horses.

    We later found out that she has Pix Disease and that she probably has had it for five or so years. Pix Disease is a problem with the brain where it your brain shrinks and you lose your ability to remember things, or even simple things like how to function. It can become very dangerous. The last fall had caused the disease to progress faster and make her forget things quicker, because of the fall she ends up being hospitalized for about a week. They end up releasing her after my grandfather begged for her to be released. Even though she wasn't supposed to go home for another week or so.

They get home from the hospital and my grandmother goes to use the bathroom even

though she is having trouble remembering where she is and how to move around. She grabs the corner of the sink, loses her balance, and falls flat on her face. When my grandfather saw this he didn't think much of it, helped her up, and carried her into the red room, which is what they called their living room. She manages to break her arm and now has to wear a cast. We didn't find out her arm was broken until much later because she wasn't able to speak and only made noises.

My mom starts helping take care of Marmy, causing her not to be home as often. She went from helping with my grandmother once a week to helping every day. I almost never see my mom. Not even before I went to bed and the worse my grandmother gets the less I see my mom. It ends up taking a toll on my family and my dad has taken us to school even though it means he's almost late to work every day.

My grandmother is progressively getting worse. It's been 3 months since she was diagnosed. I'm in P.E and I randomly felt like sobbing. I ask to use the bathroom, and run to the locker room and grabbed my phone. I text my mom asking her if Marmy was okay and all she said was to focus on school. I know my grandmother isn't okay but I force myself through the last ten minutes of P.E, which feels more like a century. As soon as the bell rings, letting school out, I pick up my phone and see that my mom is calling.

"Grandma Joy is going to pick you up today." I could hear her voice shaking.

"Is something wrong?" I asked as my voice started to shake.

"How's Marmy doing?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Your grandma will explain when she picks you up, sweetie."

The fact she said sweetie at the end of her sentence tells me that Marmy is definitely not okay. She hangs up without saying another word.

Grandma Joy calls me about five minutes after I got off the phone with my mom. She asks me to meet her at the elementary school and we are go get Chick-Fil-A before we go to her house. I say yes ma'am and hang up the phone. I run from the middle school to the elementary school as fast as I possibly can. As soon as I get in the car and close the door my grandmother told me that Marmy is dead. I break into tears and cry all the way to Chick-Fil-A.

I remember back to a few weeks before that when I went to Marmy's house. We knew she didn't have much longer to live. My grandfather is playing soft hymns because they are my grandma's favorites and he wants her soul to be at peace. I walk into the room and see her stale lifeless body sprawled out on the bed. As I draw closer to her I can see that her eyes are starting to milk over and what small bit of life left in her is being sucked from her soul. I can feel the tears start to bubble in my eyes but I hold them in so she can't tell I am upset. I take a few steps back and let my grandfather approach her.

My grandfather leans over to her and says, "You can let go now, it's okay".

As soon as I hear that I have to step out of the room and I started sobbing. The only question in my mind is why on earth would he tell her she could die as if it wouldn't affect anyone. I am only twelve and this doesn't make any sense to me. It's crazy to think that a few weeks after that she would die. The saddest part is that I got to witness her death first hand and while im happy I got to see my grandmother one last time I am also upset because the whole experience has mortified me.  

A few days have passed and it's the day of Marmy's funeral. We get to the church and I see her lifeless body lying in the casket. I break into tears as soon as I see her and have to walk away. I manage to sit through the entire ceremony and I can't even remember one part of the ceremony because I am too depressed to pay attention.

    I can remember every holiday with her and how much fun we would have at her house. All I can think about is how different life would be without her. Worst of all how my mom is going to be during the holidays without Marmy. I sat in the limousine crying the whole 30 minutes as we head back to the church. My friends try to texting me but I don't answer them because I am too depressed to talk to anyone. I get home and run straight into my room and play the song Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas and cry for hours on end. I don't even care to eat. It probably would have made me sick anyway because of how much I have been crying.

To this day I still miss my grandmother and wish she was still around. I also wish I would've spent more time with her because I feel like I would have  been even closer to her if I spent more quality time with her. I always thought she would be around till the day I died, but I was wrong and I could've never been more wrong. The hardest part is that if she stayed home like she was supposed to then she wouldn't have fallen the last two times and she might have been around for another year or so. I guess nothing really lasts forever.