46 Chapter 46: The Grand Duke's Proposal

Sovieshu's words from yesterday lingered in my mind. The morning chill brought fresh goosebumps onto my skin, but it did not cool the fire inside of me. The sound of birds reminded me of Queen and only served to make me more depressed.

A concubine's child cannot be a prince or a princess. And yet Sovieshu suggested that if we could not conceive a child together, perhaps I would adopt it…

I didn't like it.

It was preferable to have any other baby than one born between Sovieshu and Rashta. No matter how much I thought over it, I didn't think I could love the baby. No, I was quite sure I wouldn't.

"Your Majesty."

Countess Eliza's voice broke my reverie, and I wrested my gaze from the window. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even realize she was nearby.

"What is it?"

I tried to look casual, and she spoke to me in a lowered voice.

"Grand Duke Kaufman is here."

"He is?"

"Yes."

I walked into the parlor room and found Grand Duke Kaufman standing with his hat in one hand. It was the first time I'd seen him since he struck Sovieshu. I glanced at his hand to see if he was alright, but he didn't look hurt.

"It's fine. Thank you for your concern."

Did he notice my gaze? Grand Duke Kaufman responded bluntly as he briefly waved his hand. It was then I made a sudden realization.

"The potion has worn off."

I looked back in amazement, but when he responded, his voice was cold.

"You sound like you were just waiting for us to part. Did you want me gone?"

I stared at him in surprise, and he sighed and apologized.

"…I'm sorry. I'm in an unstable emotional state. It's why I twisted what you said. I hope you will understand."

"Ah. Then the potion is still…?"

"Yes."

When I observed him more closely, I noticed that his hand holding his hat was trembling. More worries sprung up in my mind twentyfold.

"Does the drug usually last this long?"

"That's what worries me."

Grand Duke Kaufman sighed again. At the same time, he adjusted the space between his feet and mine. He seemed to want to keep some distance from me.

"You said you created it, right?"

"I wanted to make something for the black market when I was an academy student…the potion doesn't usually work like this."

Grand Duke Kaufman sighed once again and fidgeted with his hand.

"How effective is it usually?"

"It's just the feeling when you first fall in love. It's not supposed to last as long as this, and the antidote should have worked."

"Have you ever used it on a person?"

"Of course I have. That's why I gave it to you."

He sighed for the third time.

"The drug had already been around for a few years. If it worked this powerfully in the first place, it would have spread wildly by now."

That was true. The symptoms Grand Duke Kaufman displayed were not of mere infatuation but of overwhelming, feverish passion. Such a drug… would have many uses.

"Perhaps it's a side effect?"

I looked at him anxiously, but he didn't answer my question.

"…I'm leaving the empire."

This time.

He was here to say goodbye.

At that moment, my eyes started to go blurry. I was not as close to Grand Duke Kaufman as I was with Prince Heinley or Queen or Duchess Tuania, but my heart was suffering through these repeated partings. I started rambling before I even realized it.

"What about the trade? What about diplomatic relations? It's still in progress. If you go away—"

"The Emperor doesn't want it."

"I am in charge of this."

"But as long as it's related to state affairs, you cannot make deals without your husband's final approval."

My heart pounded, but for a different reason. I was angry. I was angry that my entire effort to establish diplomatic relations with Rwibt had crumbled away like a sandcastle, all because of Sovieshu's feelings.

I stood there with my lips pressed shut, and Grand Duke Kaufman clenched his hand.

"Don't be upset."

"…"

"Please. If you're upset now, my heart hurts so much. Please…"

He pressed down on his bosom, looking distressed. I forced a smile for him, but it didn't seem to work, and so I changed my words to another direction.

"So the diplomatic relationship is completely over?"

Grand Duke Kaufman gingerly lifted his hand from his chest, as if to check if his attempt to suppress his feelings worked.

"Since I cannot create an alliance with the Eastern Empire, I will look to other countries. It doesn't matter which ones."

"…I see."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave him a hollow smile as I bowed.

"Thank you for telling me the circumstances."

"I will look around other countries to find out how to remove the effects of the drug."

When he finished speaking, he kept his eyes on me. I gave him my reluctant blessing.

"I…I hope your alliances go well."

I knew he worked hard and wished for him to find a better trading partner. On the other hand, I didn't want that for him either. My stomach seemed to turn.

"…though I'm only being half sincere."

Grand Duke Kaufman widened his eyes, then burst into laughter. He doubled over so hard that he had to wipe tears from his eyes. Did the love potion increase his response to my words? I didn't know why he was laughing, but he was doing it so much that I began to feel embarrassed. I felt as if I had betrayed an obvious desire.

'He might say something behind my back.'

"It's fine. It was so cute."

"What?"

He offered a silent smile, and I didn't know what to say. Sometimes, the way he spoke…it was as if he were answering the thoughts in my mind. I shifted awkwardly.

Grand Duke Kaufman opened his mouth to speak again but then paused. Wasn't he going to say goodbye? Did it hurt him to say it? Would it be better if I said goodbye first?

I would remember him as the person who showed me what it felt like to be loved. He wasn't as dear to me as Prince Heinley, but I enjoyed knowing him in the time that we had. I tried to give my farewell first when the grand duke gave an unexpected proposal.

"Let's go together."

"!"

"I want you to come with me. I'd love you to."

I stared at him in amazement. What? I was frozen to the spot, and he brought his hat to his chest.

"Your heart will only rot if you stay here. Let's go to the Hwa continent. You'll live without any pain, and you'll be surrounded by all the good things in the world."

"Grand Duke…"

Was it the potion speaking again? But even though I waited, he did not correct his words. As he stared into my eyes, he held out a trembling hand towards me.

"I will do all the preparations if you allow me."

* * *

I couldn't believe my ears for a moment. I almost laughed, but when I saw Grand Duke Kaufman's eyes, it died on my lips. His eyes spoke plainly of his anxiety. A man who I knew for his blunt speech and his confidence was now afraid of my rejection. Perhaps it was because of the potion, but at this moment he was sincere. A feeling of regret welled up in me.

However…I shook my head.

"No "

"Your Majesty."

"Grand Duke Kaufman. Think rationally. You're doing this because of the potion."

"I know. I know…I'm alright."

Was he? I drew my brows together in a frown.

"No. You're not alright."

"It's my emotions. It's up to you to reject it, but please don't treat my feelings callously."

"Grand Duke Kaufman. I know you. You're only proposing this because of the potion."

"…"

"You will feel guilty about it when it wears off."

I deliberately spoke with a smile, but Grand Duke Kaufman's expression did not lighten. I sighed.

"Don't bet your life with me in what you feel at the moment, Grand Duke."

"When this drug wears away, how can you be sure that my emotions will go back to normal? "

"You didn't like me at first, remember?"

"It's my enemies I don't like."

"!"

"I just felt frustrated."

Grand Duke Kaufman's face was carefully blank, but something about him was pitiable. His offer, however, was not something to be decided by sympathy and impulse. I deliberately looked away.

"Grand Duke Kaufman. You may find what I'm doing is frustrating, but…this burden is not difficult for me to carry."

"!"

"I admit it is painful for the Emperor to love another woman while he is cold to me. But I am the empress."

I let out a small, unintelligible sound and I turned my head back.

"I have lived and learned to become an empress all my life. This is my dream and reality. I don't want to lose my life simply because of the suffering my husband is putting me through."

When Grand Duke Kaufman spoke, his voice was heavy with regret.

"It's a great belief, but a dangerous one."

"How is it dangerous?"

"What will you do if your husband asks you for a divorce first?"

That wouldn't happen, but he continued before I could reply.

"You have such a strong identity as an empress. But if you divorce the Emperor, you will no longer be the empress. I'm afraid you will fall apart then."

I flatly denied his words.

"That won't happen. The Emperor is not a fool."

I was serious. Sovieshu wasn't completely devoid of reasonable judgment. However, Grand Duke Kaufman coldly refuted me.

"He was already a fool the moment he turned away from you. People addicted to love are likely to act on impulse and do things they would never ordinarily do. Such as the way I punched your husband."

"!"

He heaved a sigh. It seemed like there was more he wanted to say, but he didn't. Instead, he carefully asked a question.

"Before I go, can we hug?"

A light embrace was common among the nobles, so I agreed. As soon as I gave permission, he stepped forward and pulled me in. But it wasn't the hug I had in mind. Where had his calm and heavy attitude gone? His hug was impatient and intense. I was short on the breath as I was locked tightly in his arms. His forehead touched my shoulder.

This…this was not a simple embrace.

"Grand Duke."

"…"

"Grand Duke Kaufman."

I didn't think this was a good idea, and I called his name carefully. Fortunately, he retreated. When he released me from his grip, I saw his expression was carefully smoothed over. He gave a calm and polite bow, placed his hat on his head, and walked towards the door. He gave one last backward glance, then left.

I collapsed onto the couch as soon as he was gone. Could it be the aftermath of his emotional whirlwind? I felt numb, but I didn't have the luxury to stay that way for long.

"Your Majesty, Lord Koshar is here."

Within fifteen minutes of Grand Duke Kaufman's departure, my older brother, Koshar, came to see me.

"Navier!"

As soon as Countess Eliza opened the door for me, my brother bounded into the room and embraced me. He was just as strong as Grand Duke Kaufman, but his arms were more comfortable. When I sat still, my brother buried his forehead in my shoulder like Grand Duke Kaufman as well. Was it natural for tall people to position themselves like this?

"Navier. Your shoulders are damp."

I looked at him confusedly.

"What are you talking about?"

"There's some water on your shoulder."

"!"

As soon as my brother pulled away, I touched my hand to the spot where Grand Duke Kaufman placed his forehead. It really was damp.

"Ah…"

Did the Grand Duke…cry? He cried and then left with a blank face like that? I put down my hand as my heart sank with regret, while my brother watched me closely.

"You look somber, Navier. Is it because of your husband and that woman?"

"Huh?"

"How dare he make you so miserable."

I looked up at my brother in surprise and saw that he was grinding his teeth as he clenched his fists.

"All the commoners are talking about your husband and the concubine."

"Ah…"

So Koshar must have heard everything. I looked downward, feeling unsure of myself. I didn't want to hear my brother talk about my husband being in love with another woman. Of course, I knew it would come up someday, but…

As soon as I dropped my gaze, I saw shopping bags near my brother's feet. I deliberately changed the subject.

"What are those?"

"Gifts."

My brother delicately held out the shopping bags to me like he was giving me a bomb, and I leaned in from the couch to accept them.

"Can I open them?"

However, my brother didn't say yes.

"Check them later. I'm not going to run away with the gifts."

He stood in front of me.

"Where is that woman staying, Navier?"

"What woman?"

"Oh, my clever sister. Where are you pretending you don't know? The woman with the bastard child. Along with that damn asshole."

"Brother!"

I quickly stood up and covered Koshar's mouth.

"Watch your language. It's dangerous."

The palace had many ears and eyes. Everyone here was my aide, but I remembered that Viscountess Verdi had once been close to me. Even my own ladies-in-waiting could betray me depending on the circumstances. My brother's eyes flashed and he pulled away my hand.

"Everyone knows that my personality is garbage anyway. Where are they, Navier?"

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna kill those two bastards."

My hand flew to cover my brother's mouth again. I gave a hurried glance towards Countess Eliza, she sent all the ladies-in-waiting out of the room. After they were all gone I locked the door securely, then pushed my brother onto the sofa and hissed at him in a low voice.

"Be careful, brother. People will find fault in any small thing you say."

"I meant it."

He answered firmly, and his eyes were sharp. I was worried. He really did seem serious. I was afraid that my brother would do something that I wouldn't be able to control.